Nice try, Nature.

The day after I left my friend Lynn's house after two weeks of dog-sitting Lynn noticed little kitty prints in the ash of the fireplace in their formal living room. Thinking nothing of it, Lynn was ironing in her bedroom when there came a rustling noise from within the closet. Lynn glanced over and noticed that both cats and the dog were within her view.
Lynn grabbed her pets and ran for it and after telling her husband that there is something in the closet, she promptly locked herself and her pets in her office.
Michael went upstairs and looked into the closet, seeing nothing. "Lynn," he called, " there is nothing in here."
"Page through the clothes, or I won't come out!"
So he did, and there in the closet, mere hours after I had left, was a squirrel. A ninja stealth assassin squirrel, one day late.
Michael donned heavy gloves and a broom and chased the squirrel down the stairs. Completely ignoring the open doors my furry nemesis ran straight up the chimney. The very chimney where he was no doubt holed up for two weeks, biding his time, watching me and preparing to attack when I least expected it- probably in the shower. (This seems to be a good lurking spot for Nature.)