Saturday, February 28, 2009

What is cutier than a kitten?

Anderson Cooper.



Amazing clip
about why Anderson (though a Vanderbilt)sleeps on his childhood mattress.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Dear Reader(s),

I am in a quandary and would like your opinion on what I should do.

This afternoon I went to my boss to arrange two sets of vacation days, one week in the late spring/summer and 2 days next week. Basically my boss told me that I would need to ask my coworker who doesn’t ever ask me for help, whether or not I can go on vacation because my coworker may want my help. This same coworker never goes on vacation because “her schedule doesn’t allow for it” (and doesn’t like to vacation, but wants to claim that she can’t go because she is busy) is now in control of whether or not I get to go on vacation. This would not have been a horrible problem if following this conversation my boss had not segued into a lecture about how this coworker doesn’t feel like I’m willing to help and that is why she doesn’t ask. (Said in such a disgusted tone that is meant to illicit shame.)

Now let me tell you that this coworker likes to stretch every project into the Trail of Tears and cannot hand off a project without explaining in extreme detail how it is to be done (including where I should collate papers- not how, or in what order- but what specific location I should stand in while putting together some instruction manuals for a meeting). Now consider me, with the grout bleaching, obsessive fish keeping, use of Excel to organize cookie recipe ingredients, if I say you are an over-obsessive control freak, you are a CRAZY over-obsessive control freak. Furthermore my boss told me that the coworker is making too much in overtime and we can’t afford it, so I have to help.

I objected that I am not unwilling to help, but rather am never asked. My boss then gave me an example where coworker asked me to help and I said “no”. Of course coworker didn’t mention to our boss how it actually happened. (On a Thursday she seemed stressed and I asked her if she needed help, as I had plenty of time, and she said she would “let me know”. I hear nothing until the following Thursday when she approaches me and says she would like my help now. I explained to her that I was busy prepping for the 200 person seminar I was facilitating the next morning (my boss can’t get things done until the last minute, so I am stuck doing things last minute as a consequence), which coworker herself was also attending and that after the 200 person seminar I had promised to help someone else in another department with a project, so I couldn’t help. She said that was fine and she would hire a temp to do it. That is not really the same as asking for help and being told “no”.)

So, I explain to my boss that I don’t think that coworker wants my help because she always wants to do everything herself and that her not asking me for help and assuming I don’t want to or am unwilling to help is crazy.

So my boss gets mad and tells me that she will not get in the middle of a feud between myself and coworker (a feud I had no idea existed until 3 this afternoon), and that shouldn’t I admit that we are both a little wrong.

My answer was “no”. I am not a little wrong. It is not part of my job to chase people around asking for projects. It is the onus of the person who needs help to ask for it. Nobody wants extra work, but I am not the sort of person who refuses to help because it will suck. I am paid to be here 8 hours a day and none of my work is cherries and chocolate so, what do I care. I tried to tell my boss that I cannot control my coworker’s perceptions and that any time I am having a slow period I always make a point to make sure that none of the 3 people I work with need help before I start working on backlogged paperwork, or my pet projects.

I have since received three emails that clearly showed that since 3, my boss thinks that I am somehow magically transformed into a good for nothing ne’r do well. I am upset that my friend sold me down river either because she needs to control every aspect of everything, or for the massive amounts of overtime money. I’m upset that my boss would believe that I refused work. And honestly, we’re having layoffs and I need everyone to know that I work really hard, and that the work I do is important and gets done.

So what do you think I should do:

1. Go to coworker (who BTW I actually hang out with outside of work) and tell her that our boss said that she doesn’t feel like she can ask for help and figure out if she really said that I was too busy to help rather than unwilling to help. Then get the three of us together and talk about this.

2. Meet again with my boss and try harder to explain my situation and how I feel unsupported and how there is no feud, but even if there was, taking the position that I am the bad guy is not ok.

3. Some other option you suggest.


Update: My boss came to me this morning and apologized for not reacting properly yesterday. Having gone home and thought about it she realized that was not possibly true. Today she met with coworker, then I met with coworker and it seems as though there was some sort of misunderstanding. So I am willing to let the whole thing go. And all is well. (Which is good, as I was about to adopt a scorched earth policy at the office, which sounds like it would be a lot of additional work.)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A-MAZING.

I would order this today. Via Jezebel.

UPDATE! By the way, I guess not everyone is a complete loser like me, but just so you know the young man in the video is Alfonso Ribeirbo who played Carlton Banks on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

UPDATE 2! By which I mean I knew, but others didn't. I am the queen of bad TV.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Should have gone to Berkeley

Berkeley's entry to the "What is Nano" video contest being held by The American Chemical Society.Via BoingBoing.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Can't stop finding this AWESOME

So can we talk about Roman Polanski?

He’s been the news lately and I just want to say my peace:

I don’t care what the new documentary implies; Roman Polanski is not a victim. Roman Polanski is a rapist and a fugitive from justice.

1. Polanski violated the sacred trust between adults and children. A 13 year old NEVER has the ability to consent to a sex act. Polanski knew and admitted under oath that he knew she was 13. There is no further excuse. The reason we have statutory rape laws is to prevent adults from exerting their greater power physically, emotionally, or mentally over a child. (And don’t even get me started, but when you plea to statutory rape, there is probably a standard rape charge looking pretty feasible.)

2. Polanski drugged the 13 year old child before raping her. No one can consent after being drugged. Also, he gave a 13 year old girl champagne and Quaaludes. Is that not a big enough problem on its own?

3. She said “no” numerous times. There is not, can not, and should not be a requirement to physically repel someone from your person.

4. He took topless pictures of a 13 year old girl. A 13 year old girl is not capable of the forethought required to prevent her from making decisions she would late regret. There is a reason that child porn is illegal.

5. Polanski’s “defense” team attempted to negate the need for consent by citing that she may not have been a virgin at the time, "She was not unresponsive", and that she was a young woman trying to get ahead by sleeping with Polanski. (Yea, she got really far ahead by being raped and actually stepping forward.) I don’t care if she just came out of a Thai sex show, she was 13 and she said no. Painting the victim as a prostitute who enjoyed the activity is disgusting to the highest degree. No victim is to blame for their rape. Once in a while they may not have done any favors for themselves, but they did no wrong. Furthermore, see above where I mention that having sex with a child is rape even if they want it.

I don’t give a shit that Polanski’s wife was murdered and I don’t care that he survived the holocaust. You are never allowed to have sex with children, you are never allowed to have sex with people who say “no”, and you are never allowed to just skip town in the middle of a legal case.

I can’t understand where anyone is going with this. Polanski is a first degree criminal scumbag.

As far as I’m concerned Roman Polanski is hopefully going to jail, then (and let it be shortly thereafter) going to a special place in hell.

There is an interesting review of the recent documentary on Polanski, Wanted & Desired, up at Salon.

One of the thoughts so well expressed by the author was:

The movie tries to drum up sympathy for Polanski by playing up the media firestorm he was at the center of; but that's Polanski's fault, too. (Before they rape children, celebrities should consider how the media attention sure to result will have adverse consequences for their victims, as well as themselves.)

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Things looking up!

Today I got TWO (2!!) presents at work!

1. A large "Q" made out of wood and painted pretty for my cubical. Yay! A "Q"! That is exciting stuff. I will hang it next to my Shia LeBeouf collection!

2. Fancy smelling soap and a book of zenlike "Hawaiian Proverbs". Yay soap! Sometimes I smell funny, so that should work out awesome. Furthermore, I have been chasing zen. I have not read the book yet, but keep your fingers crossed that it will call for a drink with a tiny umbrella and a strong resemblance to Carmen Miranda's hat.

Also, today was MAGIC DAY: Girl Scout cookies arrived at the office.

AND everyone was envious of the delicious lunch I had made and brought.

On the downside, the babysitting kids let me know that my juggling needs A LOT of work. Perhaps when I am unemployed I will have plenty of time to practice. (Zing!) (Awwwwww nuts.)

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

New Rule!

Can only update SUC while eating ice cream directly from the container.

CHECK.

Things have been slightly less than ideal over here in SUC-land, but I am regaining my equilibrium by counting my blessings and chasing my zen. (By which I mean going to bed at 8 and eating a lot of ice cream.)

"News":
1. My mom and Shia LaBeouf have the same birthday. My mother posted it on her wall. "Her wall?", you ask. Oh yes, her wall, because my mother has facebook friended me.

2. A while ago I ordered the magazine Everyday Food (Martha Stewart's magazine for people who like to cook but also have lives) and I have made it my goal to make at least 2 recipes from every issue. Jan/Feb's magazine had a recipe for Turkey Paprikesh and it was AWESOME. (Though instead of just using sweet paprika, I used a combination of sweet, smoked, and hot. Which gave me some interesting ideas for a new BBQ rub, I want to experiment with.) Next I think I will try either Sweet and Sour Pork Stir Fry or the Dijon Potato Salad. (Yes, this is exciting to me. This is because I am BORING, but if you can live with that, you can come over and eat at my house.) If anyone has any back issues of Everyday Food sitting around the house, I will take those off your hands.

3. I saw Coraline with my cousin and some friends and while the 3D was cool, OMG it hurt my sensitive peepers! I have never had to look through glasses before and it sucked. (Yes, I know, call me a waaaaaambulance.) That being said the movie was AWESOME. And creepy. Creepy as in when the movie really got dark many children in the theater started crying and maybe also some older persons may have hunched over in their seat and clutched dramatically at their 14 year old cousin, but then played it off like they were not freaked out at all because they are an adult and this is a claymated movie.
Additionally, the movie features numerous scotty dogs, which really reminded me of certian relatives (Hi, Gram Cracker!) who may own a lot of small bearded dogs.

4. I see 8 o'clock is rappidly approaching, which if you are keeping track, is my new bed time. So good night. If I hustle I might just be able to brush my teeth and get into bed on time.

RECAP:
Waaaa waaa waaaa. Things suck.
Blah blah blah ice cream.
Quiana + Shia meant for each other.
Also Facebook = tool meant to ruin EVERYTHING.
I am boring. Shameless begging.
Coraline = Awesome and a little bit scary if you are a wussy von wusserton.
I am boring/old.

Bonus Night Cap:

Sunday, February 15, 2009

A week so bad that...

I'm having ice cream for lunch.

Yes, veggie loving, excel abusing, must have a balanced meal me had a fry-up for breakfast with Kim and now has had ice cream for lunch. But the ice cream was all natural and local. And I had a multi-vitamin. And ice cream contains milk and fruit. So, you know, I think we're all good here.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Because nobody asked for it...

And because I believe it to be necessary for you to watch this video of a baby pig. Maybe several times. While eating a cookie. And feeling sorry for yourself.


What, just me? Fine. Enjoy it anyway.


Kingsford Goes to the Beach - Funny video clips are a click away

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Stuff & Things

1. As I had been suspecting, another round of layoffs is eminent. Hooray! Stay tuned to find out if I will be turning tricks in mere months! (Kidding, Grandma! (I hope.))

2. The dog I'm dog sitting for chewed his toe nail off. In other news, HOLY SHIT, WHERE DID YOUR TOE NAIL GO, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, DOG? I CAN'T WATCH BIG BANG THEORY WITHOUT YOU MAIMING AN APPENDAGE? QUIT CHEWING ON YOUR FOOT. IT IS FILTHY!!

3. My week is the suck. Looking greatly forward to ricockulous numbers of meetings! yay!

4. Nannerpus: breakfast I would greatly enjoy. Can't stop thinking about this.



5. Newest crush: Philippe Cousteau.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Instead of Blogging I...

-Watched Death Race
-Caught up on my Google Reader
-Caught up on the Tivo, then fell behind again
-Read some books
-Had my nails done
-Went to Canada
-Set the Tivo to record new show awesomeness
-Started working on a ridiculous new plan
-Attempted to hook up my exercise bike only to find the cord is missing AGAIN (may I mention that I just ordered that new cord and placed it in a specific drawer so it would not get lost and now it is gone.)
-Searched the house for things to throw out (promise I didn't throw out the cord)
-Pulled all the good ideas out of all my back issues of Martha Stewart Living, Gourmet, Fine Living, Food and Wine, and marked up my Everyday Food

So now, with all of that out of the way, I think I should get back to having things to say on the internets.

Thing 1: Jim and I went to Video Games Live at the Paramount. The last time I have smelled a geek funk that bad was when Steve, Addy, and I went to see Aqua Teen Hunger Force the night it opened. VGL was pretty kick ass, in spite of the odor and the shushing I had to undertake. (Seriously, who pays that much money to go to the symphony and then talks through the whole thing?)

Thing 2: I just watched Death Race (see above) and for some reason (insanity?) had expected more stuff to happen than driving in circles and shooting. Would you like to see Jason Statham not fight Tyrese? Would you like to watch cars drive in circles and sometimes blow up? Yes?! Well go watch the commercial and save yourself the wasted time.

Thing 3: This morning I arrived at the meeting my boss was facilitating to make sure that all was hunky dory. The caterers had just delivered the coffee and when I walk in, this woman is shaking the "CAUTION: HOT WATER" dispenser right above her crotch and when I inquired as to what she was doing she explained that the water wouldn't come out. All over the table in front of her was steaming hot water. I leaned over and looked at the dispenser and flipped the switch next to the spout to "open". Said the nearly crotch scorched woman, "Well that works much better." Than shaking a decades old, poorly sealed, scalding hot water pump pitcher over your lady bits? Yea, guess so.

Thing 4: On Tuesday I attended a really excellent National Geographic Live! Lecture about ants, frogs, and snakes. If you have ever had any interest in attending one of these lectures, this is the year. Usually these sell out, but the economic crisis has apparently hit the Live! series and there are still seats available.
I look forward to these all year, they are pretty awesome. If you are also interested in attending, tickets are available and only $15-$20.

Thing 5: Jon Hamm is ADORABLE and pretty witty. Watch this video snippet of his interview with Conan. Trust me.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Delusions, Adorable Delusions

Today as I was leaving the local library two girls in their early teens bounced passed. I overheard one saying to the other, "Last time I was here there was a really cute guy. I hope he's here today!!"

She does not yet know that there are no cute guys at the library.

EVER.

What she saw was a manrage.

Very sad.