Saturday at exciting poker night I think I had an allergic reaction to latex. With wheezing, watery eyes, and swollen fingers.
Latex is the plastic of the damned.
This reminds me of how I learned of this exciting allergy. I was on my way somewhere in the car (with someone) and my mom called. I picked up because this is the best time to answer a mom call. As soon as I am tired of the conversation I can say, "Hey mom, I'm kind of driving, so I probably should hang up soon." At which point my mother immediately says, "Love you, bye," and hangs up the phone. (Result!)
Here is the transcript of the call:
Me: Hey Ma, what's up?
Ma: Nothing much, how are you?
Me: Super (with implied "and you")
Ma: So the results to my allergy test came back.
Ma: So you know that weird allergy we have to tape and band-aids and stuff?
Ma: It turns out that I'm allergic to latex, and you probably are too.
Ma: So you should try to remember to be careful about that.
Ma: For when you have sex. Because they have...
Me: Yea... hey Ma, I'm kind of driving right now.
Ma: Ok, love you, bye.
Me: Love you too, bye.