Today my uncle and I decided to take a little road trip down to Archie McFee's and while we were in Ballard we stopped for lunch. We were seated next to a woman and her two teenage daughters, the older of which kept smart eyeing me. They were very noisily bitching about this and that as they finished their pasta.
The waiter came over to ask them if they'd like dessert and she asked what the restaurant has. He recommended the tiramisu. At which point she said, "Tira-what-su, I never heard of it." He began to describe the tiramisu and as he got to the part with the lady-fingers she interrupted him as though he is the rude one and declared, "I don't know what lady fingers are. What else do you have?" He paused and then calmly told them the rest of their choices and she said she'll have the chocolate mousse. After like maybe 5 minutes she hailed the waiter and demanded to know where her dessert is because she had "been waiting 17 minutes, I've checked my watch THREE TIMES." At this point we'd just gotten our drinks.
The waiter apologized, surprised and rushed off to find something to shove in her yap. He brings the plate in and she says, "What is that? Some kind of pudding??!"At which point I leaped across the aisle and beat her to death with my salad plate.
After the coroner took her mangled corpse away we snagged her waiter to tell him that his customer was a totally crazy bitch. It turns out that they were his first table of the night and it was really comforting to completely mock them. Bitching about people behind their backs is AWESOME.
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