Thursday, February 01, 2007

Wishy-Washy Scientists Given Balls by Al Gore?!

AP is reporting that some fancy-schmancy international commission is using the strongest term yet for the possibility of global warming having a human cause: "very likely."
Now, people always mock me for my whole 'I don't believe in global warming, and if it exists, as near as I can tell we are fucked; so, oh well' way of thinking. But seriously, can you blame me when to date the very strongest wording (by leaps and bounds) that any actual scientific body can give me is "very likely?"

Now that America has decided to give up on Iraq ("Sorry about invading your country and creating a power vacuum and shit, but we uhm... have left a cake in the oven....") it seems we need a new crusade. A crusade brought to stupid America's Next Top Model watching America by Al Gore. Al Gore who couldn't beat George Bush, even taking over from Clinton and in an excellent economy. (The only two other guys less qualified to be president than George Bush: Barack Obama & Winnie the Pooh. And only because Winnie the Pooh is a Canadian. Maybe Obama and Edwards should run together: 'Obama/Edwards: We've Never Done Anything, So We've Never Done Anything Wrong.' Or maybe 'Obama/Edwards: Vote Sexy.' Or 'Obama/Edwards: We're Bringing Sexy Back' )

A team of the most brilliant minds in the world sets out to save the planet from annihilation, led by Al Gore. If that doesn't sound like a teaser for a Venture Brothers episode, well, you must not watch enough Venture Brothers.

At any rate, I want to get my grubby mitts on that report, as I am still incredulous that we really have data to support this, and data to support that changing our ways would do any good at all. If I get my data, I will happily get rid of my Taurus and buy a hybrid or whatever.
Go Team Venture!!

Oh and while I'm on the topic of hippies, today on NPR I heard a mention that some senator is trying to get labels on currently non-existent clone produced food products (meat, dairy, etc.). Fuck funding labels, I would actually like some scientific studies to show me whether or not cloned foods are safe to eat-- before they hit the market. I assume that they are fine, but rather than labeling things unnecessarily, I would rather have research.

Oh, and while I'm at it, genetically engineered foods: tested by lots of smarty-pants scientists; so, moron protesters don't bug me at Safeway. You bug me, I cut off your fake white-boy dreadlocks. You get it?

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