Item the first: Gargoyle toes arrived at the office today at TEN am. I shit you not.
Item the second: my boss's former boss's adult son (whom I've never met) passed away and his funeral is today. I was not friendly with my boss's former boss.
I get a phone call from the receptionist who got a call from my least favorite coworker asking me to bring forks to the funeral.
I am not lying.
Then when I said that I wasn't going to the funeral the receptionist said, "Well-uh!" As though I am so exasperating because I am not going to my boss's former boss's son's funeral in the middle of a Thursday, in spite of the fact that I never spoke with her and didn't even know she had children.
So what I'm supposed to crash this guy's funeral with a box of embezzled office forks? That would be great.