Monday, March 03, 2008

5 Topic Super Ramble

1. A piece of my car fell out of my car door yesterday. Can cars have leprosy? Also is it bad that I just shrugged and threw it in the back seat?

2. Yesterday I bit my lip tripping over either a root or my own feet. I guess all those dance lessons have paid off big time. Today I look like I have herpes. Let's make out! What, no?!?

3. I really need to buy a new phone. I am switching from Verizon to ATT, and have no idea what to purchase. I have done research and I (1) am still completely unable to pick a phone and (2) now feel like an idiot. I have about two weeks to evolve (side note: it took me TWO YEARS to learn predictive texting) and it appears that I need help.
My only two criteria thus far have been:
Do the buttons look like they will fall off and get stuck in my hair?
How much talk time/stand by time can I have?
The previous criteria of: (1) is it pretty and (2) could I accidentally inhale it have been discarded since the last time I purchased a phone. (Thank you RAZR, replaced TWICE while under warranty and a third time later in which I used some very threatening language with a high school kid at the Verizon in the Alderwood Mall, which has probably turned him against all women.)

Advise.

4. I have still not responded to my father’s request to call the house. My photo essay idea feels increasingly immature/crazy and pathetic… although not as pathetic as hiding from my father…. This is how this conversation will go:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

RING RING!

Step-mother whom I have never met and may be new, but details such as keeping track of my parents’ various spouses have never been high on my list of priorities, or “Marilyn”, as I expect she prefers to be called: Hello.

Me: Hello?

SILENCE.

~the end.~

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
So that will go great. Options:
A. Fake own death.
B. Move to Guam.
C. Be a bad person and continue to leave my father and brother hanging like the countless victims of my “I don’t five” campaign against confusing aerial hand gestures.
D. Send the photo-essay that does not give much impression of who I am OR make a better one- either way risk seeming completely insane.
E. Man up and call. Then (1) find rock, (2) crawl under.

Advise.

5. Today is one of those days at work where I am daydreaming of the private sector as my computer has crashed approximately five (trillion) times, my Outlook is on the fritz, and whatever the heating device “controls” the climate in my building is not working and I am typing this with batman-gloved fingers and a space heater under my desk on the space heater equivalent of ‘11’, coming dangerously close to setting my slacks on fire.

1 comment:

Drew said...

Advise:

Concerning the phone:

If you've got the cash to spare, I highly recommend picking up an Iphone. You could probably get a second hand for a really reasonable price. I adore mine as a second lover, and you getting one would make steve intensly jealous. An aquaintence of mine works at apple, and although he won't leak any information about upcoming products, he will let you know if it's a good time to buy or not. Apparantly it's a decent time to buy.

Concerning the Family:

While I do very much like the fake photo-essay Idea (and if you go that route, you should get an arty friend to do some good photoshop jobs to provide proof that you are on a first name basis with Abe Lincoln, Salvador Dali, and Andy Kauffman,) you should probalby man up and call.

I know it's a colloquiel sentiment, but family's one of the most important things you can have. I think in the back of your mind, it's what you really want to do, otherwise, you probably wouldn't even consider it.

I also make that assertation on recent posts you've made. While you don't come right out and say it, to me it seems like you want a better relationship with that part of the family. There's only one way to make better relationships, and that is with communication.

But, also take this into consideration. I have been known to be wrong. But not alot.