13 ways in which Count Von Count is more successful than Quiana:
1. Fancier- see monocle and tuxedo.
2. Home owner- Castle Von Count.
3. Romance- Previously linked to Countess Von Backwards, Countess Dahling Von Dahling, and Lady Two.
4. Healthy relationship with Mother.
5. Super good at math.
6. Multiple TV, book, and film appearances.
7. Controls the elements- thunder and lightening.
8. Internationally beloved- ex. in Turkish he is called Sayıların Kontu
9. Excellent singer.
10. Still not a single gray hair at 1,832,652 years old. I should be so lucky.
11. Owns a pet octopus. (And bats and cats.) I am not responsible enough to own a pet.
12. No reflection = never having to see himself naked.
13. Wears a cape and no one makes fun of him.
THIRTEEN, THIRTEEN REASONS! AH AH AH AH!