Hint: you're an asshole.
You guys seemed pretty cool when I met you at a friend's party, but Friends of Friend, you guys are total dicks. I didn't notice until you said the following, "Did you know that such & such is an assistant?"
"Oh my God, I totally thought that she was a real person."
Hint #2: assistants, like receptionists, valets, and waitresses are "real people." Unlike you. You are a bitch.