so I am too lazy to upload a picture from it.
[Imagine picture here.]
Spiderman wasn't horrible, it was just not good. Tobey Maguire is capable of looking about 50% less evil than a puffy white kitten. Sandman was simply a convoluted unresolved throw away character. Kirsten Dunst sang twice. There were pelvic thrusts.
The only parts I liked were the ones with James Franco in them.
So, there.
2 monkeys for being a disappointment.
4 comments:
Even with the low expectations I tried to instill in everyone, you were still disappointed. Call me impressed.
I kind of agree with the James Franco stuff being some of the most interesting content of the film. Which is strange because it was the worst stuff in the Spider-man 2.
I think that they could have made the entire movie just Venom + resolution of the Goblin plotline and dropped (pun intended) the Gwen Stacy and Sandman angles entirely.
I don't know why they introduced so much and dropped it.
It reminded me of X3 with the creation of all these dumb made-up bad guys who just get dropped at the end.
Might I add that I can't stand Kirsten Dunst and wish they would have killed her and left Franco as a recurring bad guy.
I also thought that cgi was fine, but not amazing. Lots of spinning does not always equal a great action sequence.
And while I am bashing, Tobey Maguire and Topher Grace look like guys I might meet in a bar in Ballard-I don't see either of them as bad-guy or hero material. Though in defense of Topher Grace, I would still totally hit that. As opposed to Tobey Maguire whose pelvic thrusting actually made me cover my eyes.
Having Peter being a normal looking dude is the entire point for the character. Not all heroes need to be Bruce Wayne.
When Topher was first cast, there was speculation that he was going to play the Chameleon. I thought that would work pretty well because with a similar body type you could mistake him for Peter in the costume. But as Venom it felt like they wanted to go the way of having Peter and Eddie being flip sides of the same character. Unfortunately none of that actually made it to the screen, so all we are left is to have University professors explain the deeper meaning to us in 100 years.
And yes I fully intend to be around in 100 years. Death is a mug's game.
That being said, if the movie called for a "normal looking girl" they would cast Mandy Moore. I'm not even into chicks, but given a choice between two hours of viewing Moore or Maguire, I would still pick Moore.
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