I'm terribly excited that Paris Hilton will go to jail. I know she will probably be in there for approximately 30 seconds, but I want the justice system to be equal and, in spite of her family's protests, I guarantee that a broke ass black dude would be eating some jail time too. Plus this may be a good stupidity-deterrent for other useless bitches.
If she wanted to come out of this looking like a kitten she would just admit that she did it and take the time with dignity. Of course she won't and I think I can look forward to enjoying a lengthy and amusing car wreck.
Hooray!
16 comments:
I feel like this is the first time she has ever been hit with a cconsequence for her actions, and while taking glee in how hard she got slapped is wrong (but I still do it) hopefully she'll actually LEARN something after 26 years of never having had to. Which, as far as I am concerned, is a good thing, and hopefully not too late.
Alternate punishments that I have been pondering:
Spay Bottle
Rolled Up Newspaper
Spaying
Keelhauling
Force to watch ugly people have sex
What is the difference between a Spay Bottle and Spaying?
Although, the thought of not passing on those genes appeals to me on some level...
But I'm going to go with nurture over nature on explaining her actions. There is a degree to which pampering is good (never having to take out the trash) and bad (having no idea what happens to something after you drop it in the cute little bucket of go-away-now).
Damn trying to work and blog at the same time. A spray bottle.
So quit working?
I knew what you meant, I just had to give you a hard time. Thus, I pay you back for no Snap on Saturday.
See, I was gonna come, but then I was walking along, minding my own business, when a huge bottle of tequila came along and I got all distracted.
Hey cymberleah, I do believe that YOU must show up on Saturday, if you are going to give anyone a hard time about not showing up.
Why don't I get distracted like that? /pout
Nah, it's good. I didn't realize I was looking forward to it until it was 8 and I was obsessively checking my phone. Then I laughed at myself, hoped you were having a good time, and read a book.
Well, I am quite notorious for forgetting to call people back. You should definitely not have faith in me in the future, but rather call. I will not be offended.
That being said, I totally suck.
Perhaps we can have another poker/alternate car game + beer + pizza night on a night which isn't one of the top 5 drinking holidays of the year.
Maybe very soon at a nice spacious place with a big table. And Dr. Pepper...
Paul...
I'm in! As long as we aren't planning to use my place, as my table is about at big as a small puzzle. Actually, it's just a hair smaller, I have learned to my chagrin.
And, I didn't want to play POKER at all. I just wanted to play Snap, and without Quiana there I knew my Snap hopes were doomed. Doomed!
PS: I had an odd thought as I was typing in the anti-spam verification stuff. What if these random strings of letters aren't random at all, but actualy demon names, and typing summons them to our world to wreck havok? I mean, that totally explains global warming right there! Or, perhaps I am just being fanciful again. Hmm. Also, BLZBUB might have influenced me a bit.
Sure whatever.
Top five drinking holidays:
1. St Patrick's Day
2. Cinco de Mayo
3. New Years Eve
4. Friday
5. Saturday
I would throw in Fat Tuesday. And maybe Halloween.
I always thought of Fat Tuesday as a more regional holiday and according to Wikipedia,:
While not observed nationally throughout the United States, a number of cities and regions in the country have notable celebrations.
I was correct. Yeah me. One cool item of note is that Fat Tuesday is also known as Pancake Day.
And Halloween is for kids, not liquored up adults!!! They have a Peanuts special and everything.
I do believe you may be dating yourself a wee bit....
Every year I have several Halloween parties available- and honestly I'm not that cool.
Every city I have lived in has celebrated Fat Tuesday. The holiday is Catholic in root, not regional.
Perhaps these were not 'drinking holidays' in previous years, but they certainly are now.
I think this stems from the top five drinking days including Friday and Saturday. As long as you have an excuse to go completely over the top, why not? It makes it a memorable drinking Saturday, and not just an average one!
Also, dressing up like a dork and getting drunk enough to not care? What's there not to like?
Every holiday can be considered a drinking holiday if you are using that the loose definition of "a holiday that you may consume intoxicates". MY definition of a drinking holiday is one that exist only for the drinkin'. So in that light I will concede Fat Tuesday/Marti Gras, but will still disagree to my dieing breath that Halloween is for kids. I would say that the 4th of July would meet your definition better than Halloween. But that may just be because that is the first time I shared a fifth with anyone.
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