Thursday, May 31, 2007

Pandas are bastards.

World's only human bred panda in wild dies.

Xiang Xiang was found dead in February on snow-covered ground after apparently being mauled by wild male pandas protecting their territory, the official Xinhua news agency said.

Pandas never seem to be in the mood, so what do they care if a new panda shows up?
It's like carrying a box of Twinkies around and bitch slapping anyone who asks for one. It's not like anyone actually eats Twinkies, right?


steve said...

A new panda showed up in the neighborhood, he'd been bred in captivity, thought he was better than the other Pandas.

"Oh, you guys have never seen Panda porn? You guys are missing out, it makes me wish I had thumbs. We'd refuse to mate just to get more of it."

This upscale Panda put these wild pandas off, so they iced him.

This is clearly a case of Panda gang violence.

steve said...

I love that they apparently give these captive pandas training, including hand-to-hand training and survival skills.

However, given that the article I read on this claimed that Xiang Xiang died from a fall, I think they need to add a tree-climbing class to the panda survival degree.

It might bump up the number of credits they need to graduate, but I think its worth it. Maybe they could drop the foreign language requirement.

qtilla said...

I can just picture poor Xiang Xiang yelling, "I promise I'm gay" in German as they chase him out of the tree.