Goodbye, SUCkers!

Sorry about the lame post-age today, I'm busy preparing to go on the Super Happy Family Fun Beach House Vacation tomorrow morning.


We will be driving in my uncle and aunt's, dare I say, 'pimping' new van with captain's seats and a DVD player, (meaning Sean and I will be watching us some Futurama on the way) to Depoe Bay, Oregon. I might also mention that we will stop for our famous milkshake and burger breakfast at Burgerville on the way. Yum.



I have a fantastic week of:


-reading (I have been saving a couple of books that I am desperate to read, along with a Martha Stewart and a National Geographic for a week of reading gluttony.)


-watching zombie movies

-watching some Sci-Fi Channel Original Programming


-watching (boring) documentaries


-watching classic thrillers (got me some Hitchcock) (now I feel obligated to make the easy joke about that being the only cock I am likely to see anytime soon without the intervention of an entire case tequila and at least 5 good looking but inadvisable men-- sailors, marines, Libertarians)


-geocaching (because I am a granola eating, gadget junkie, Seattlite)


-collecting wild succulents (because I am a total dork)


-bopping around to new music (on my partially working iPod)


-writing


-hiking


-storm watching


-shopping


-sleeping


-baking


-puzzling


-board game playing


-but not probably blogging unless the beach house has wireless; and even then maybe not because I will be busy luxuriating in a house that I do not have to vacuum. I hope to start posting again by the 9th... sorry.

Those of you who actually know me can reach me on my cell and I will be checking email (on my cell as well).

Let me tell you a little bit about crows...

Some Points...

1. Crows are very smart. Excerpt from pbs.com article on crows in Japan:

The scene: a traffic light crossing on a university campus in Japan [!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]. Carrion crows and humans line up patiently, waiting for the traffic to halt.
When the lights change, the birds hop in front of the cars and place walnuts, which they picked from the adjoining trees, on the road. After the lights turn green again, the birds fly away and vehicles drive over the nuts, cracking them open. Finally, when it’s time to cross again, the crows join the pedestrians and pick up their meal.
If the cars miss the nuts, the birds sometimes hop back and put them somewhere else on the road. Or they sit on electricity wires and drop them in front of vehicles.
Biologists already knew the corvid family–it includes crows, ravens, rooks, magpies and jackdaws–to be among the smartest of all birds. But this remarkable piece of behavior–it features in the final program of “Life of Birds”–would seem to be a particularly acute demonstration of bird intelligence.
The crows in Japan have only been cracking nuts this way since about 1990. They have since been seen doing it in California. Researchers believe they probably noticed cars driving over nuts fallen from a walnut tree overhanging a road. The crows already knew about dropping clams from a height on the seashore to break them open, but found this did not work for walnuts because of their soft green outer shell.

2. They are growing. Courtesy of Paul.

Excerpts taken from here: newsfromme.com

Hey, what is it with these huge crows, people? Is this a symptom of Global Warming that Al Gore didn't warn us about? I don't recall the crows of my childhood being this large. Two more years of growth and they'll be carrying off dogs and small children. I'll try to get some photos of them one of these days but take my word for it. These are big damn crows. Since I got skinnier, I'm starting to get worried. The birds in your yard should not weigh more than you do.

I'm getting e-mails from bird lovers and experts responding to my message of earlier this morning about how the crows in my neighborhood are getting frighteningly large. Several folks want to know if maybe these are ravens, instead.

No, they are crows. Huge crows. Crows of awesome, worrisome height and girth. Crows that if they get much larger will be able to grab up a full-sized man in their beaks and snap him in two like a Rold-Gold pretzel stick. Crows that could crush the roof of your car if they were to merely alight on it. I don't even want to think about what might happen if you parked under a crow that big. One good dump and they'd have to send in St. Bernards to find you.
And every time I see the crows, they're bigger than they were the last time I saw them. Soon, they will be the size of Graf Zeppelins and then, by God, maybe you people will listen to me.

I am not a paranoid person. I don't spend much time worrying about natural disasters or the economy or terrorism or even the administration of George W. Bush, who's making all those things worse by the moment. I rarely imagine doom lies ahead. Just look at some of the jobs I've taken voluntarily when a more apprehensive man might have imagined what could happen.
But I tell you: I'm deeply, deeply worried about the crows. And also by the fact that people love Dancing With the Stars. Somehow, that threatens our well-being, too.

I've been telling you people about the Monster Crows that I've been seeing in my area lately. Some of those birds must be three or four hundred pounds and every so often, I see them cracking open a Mazda the same way normal-sized birds break into peanuts. Here, thanks to my pal Dana Gabbard, is an article

about the crows. It doesn't mention anything about how huge they're getting but I understand that's because no one wants to alarm the population.

3. Wikipedia says that they will eat anything.

Extremely versatile in its feeding, it will take food from the ground [ off a bicycle] or in trees. They feed on a wide range of items and will attempt to feed on anything appearing edible, alive or dead, plant or animal [including Quiana]. It is also one of the most persistent species and is quite bold, especially in urban areas [like Tokyo, or GASP Seattle]. It is well known for its regular habit of killing domestic chickens [WTF], more so than any other species of Crow. In Japan, feral crows [????!!!!!!!!!!!] are considered to be a pest for ripping open garbage bags and taking wire coat hangers for their nests.

4. I know the god damn difference between a crow and a raven-- (FUN FACT) even though they are the same word in Japanese 'karasu.' Which I believe means 'black bird which can fuck you up.'

5. Japanese crows carry the uber-disease that will wipe us all out. Article on the bird flu carrying crows.

Interesting/creepy note in the article:

An executive who worked for the company that owned the infected chicken farm has committed suicide with his wife, said the police. People had complained that he had not reported the chicken deaths immediately. His name was Asada Nosan.

6. The problem is so bad (30,000 crows in Tokyo) that the Tokyo Metropolitan Government established a crow management project team in 2001 and launched a comprehensive campaign against the birds.

Article on the Crow Management Project.

Article on the crow bounty system, from Crow Busters.

Article on crows taking down the internet in Tokyo.

Article on Tokyo citizen's forum on crows.

Article on the increase in crow attacks in Tokyo

Article on cyclists being attacked by crows and having accidents. Helpful hint- this is what happened to me....

7. They live everywhere and attacks are on the rise.

Joggers in London urged to wear hats after bloody "mobbing"

Crows attacking cars and passerby in England

8. They are well known anti-Semites.

Israeli man stalked by crow, forced to wear helmet.

And I'm spent.

I’m not superstitious but…

Some mornings there is a hawk sitting on a light post over I-5 right after I get on the freeway. He is a good looking bird- by my standard; and he always makes me smile. It is amazing to me that some animals adapt to live in a man-made environment.
I look for him every morning.
Some mornings he’s just not there and I worry that he was hit by a car or some other urban danger befell him.
This morning he wasn’t there, but a crow was. I consider this a bad omen.

I am terrified of crows. During my study abroad I experienced some aggressive behavior from the birds. This worried my pastor who warned me that a student had been hospitalized after some crows randomly attacked him as he passed their errr… murder on campus. Thanks for the uplifting words, Pastor!

Oh the humanity!!

Now Nature is attacking our children and animatronic 3 Dog Night singing animals. Headline:
Deer Crashes Through Chuck E. Cheese

The human response to Nature's repeated attacks: sexual harassment. Headline: Confiscated monkey sent sexually explicit audio tapes
Worthwhile quotes:
“(Darwin) [the monkey, not the scientist] is very dangerous,” said Amy Early, one of the Plano Animal Services Officers who transported Darwin. “(Rhesus Macaque Monkeys) will go straight for your face and tear into you. They have the strength of six men and inch-and-a-half incisors [sic].”
I know that I for one require a man with the strength of at least 5 men, so this is not totally out of line.

In other news: Fat Thai Panda, like many women, is totally not turned on by porn. This is the same panda that was formerly too fat to mate. Well if it's not one thing it's another. If you're into panda porn, here's the link, you dirty pervert. Maybe you can send it a sexually explicit audio tape. Freak.

Weekend Roundup

My uncle and I watched Aeon Flux and it sucked butt.
2 monkeys for being boring. If I were a horny dude I would give it a higher score, but I'm not, so there.

In porn and prostitute news, at my family barbecue the following topics came up:
Prostitutes in Lake City.
Ron Jeremy
Prostitutes in Vancouver.

Hey, speaking of prostitutes...
So I was cruising for parking on Aurora Saturday night and found a great spot and started pulling into it when a very pretty young woman in a cute black outfit started to walk towards my car. She started to lean down and I realized that she was a prostitute, and had to pull around and park elsewhere. I almost picked a up prostitute. Ahhhh yea.

Not all teenagers suck.

My new tutoring student (15 years old) recently told me, without provocation, that Teddy Roosevelt is his favorite president.

Because he was such a "bad-ass."

If that isn't the cutest thing you've ever heard, your cute-sensor is all jacked up.

Eric Volz

I don't if you have heard about this, but check out this article. There was also one in the Wall Street Journal. You may want to look at the links as well, there is a youtube video too.
This American was working in Nicaragua and (so his family says) got caught up in some of the tensions there. Long story short, his girlfriend is murdered and a local drug addict says that he saw Volz at the scene despite several testimonies to the contrary. He is now serving 30 years in prison for her murder.
Perhaps attention from Americans will spur the government to pressure Nicaragua for a proper appeal.
I don't know all the facts, but a trial with the defense evidence not having been summarily dismissed by a judge sounds only fair.
I know that when you are abroad you are subject to that county's justice, but someone killed that girl and the right man needs to be put away.

The Best Years of Our Lives

Last night I watched The Best Years of Our Lives while riding my bicycle to nowhere.

The Best Years of Our Lives is the story of three former soldiers from different circumstances, returning to their families after WWII.

It won 7 Oscars in '47 and well deserved them. It was movie designed to show you what happens to everyone after war, both soldiers and those who stayed on the home front. These men returned to a different America and changed loved-ones. The men were changed too.

I was particularly moved by one character who was a soda-jerk before the war. By the time the war ended he was Air Force Captain, but he couldn't get a job when he got home. He became a soda-jerk again. You see this all the time in documentaries on WWII. In spite of the GI Bill, so many officers returned home to be janitors and gas attendants.

We need janitors and gas attendants, but I am reminded that many of us are where we are, not because of merit, but because of circumstance.

This movie was fantastic. It achieved what Flags of Our Fathers attempted, with out a single war flashback. It is a product of the melodramas of its time, but it has held up well.

5 monkeys.

Maybe I didn't get it?

Last night I watched Little Miss Sunshine and thought to myself, Meh.


Having a series of "unusual" events happen= not good enough. I mean, yes, I see why one might think that this is "funny" but the movie was just flat.


Partially, I think that the movie makers were striving too hard to be arty and different. Maybe shooting for Garden State- Oh I'm funny, arty, and I have a message about family and failure- but fell very very short.

Maybe I was bored as hell because being broke, driving a beater, having parents who have dreams that supersede their interest in their children, depression, and sexually precocious children are all very real to me. Maybe if I had a silver spoon stuck up my ass I might have found the movie hilarious and moving.

Bitches promised me laughs. I guess they got two of them out of me.

It was fine, 3 monkeys. Oscar worthy? No. Worth seeing again? No.

Oopsy Daisy.

Yesterday I overheard a conversation between tech and Gargoyle Toes.

GT: My work phone is recieving incoming calls, but I can't make outgoing calls.

What I am imagining tech said: Since when?

GT: Last week, I've been using other people's phones.

What I am imagining tech said: What happened last week?

GT: I spilled tea on it.

Yes Gargoyle Toes watchers, she spilled tea on her office phone, last week and didn't mention it AND then she tried to evade explaining what had happened.

Good job Gargoyle Toes!

SUC's Helpful Hints: Musical Public Service Announcement

When you're feeling bored and blue,
watch out for the the munchies,
they can make you want to eat food
when you're not hungry.
Here eat this!
Here eat that!
Now you're not just bored you're fat!

Good News, Bad News

The good news for Frito-Lay is that the dead mouse found by an elementary student in his sack of barbecue chips actually chewed its way into the bag at the school.

The bad news for Frito-Lay is that its barbecue chips are deadly.

Just like I've been saying all along.


In other news, "Hundreds [of morons] Line up for Sheep Testicles."

Says the article, testicles make great sloppy joes.

Well, anyone could have told you that.

Violence = good times.

I watched The Departed over at Paul's on Friday and I did enjoy it. I tend to like cop movies and gangster movies, so this was a good fit. But I have to admit that I was ready for it to be over in advance of when it was over. Additionally, (and I hope that you won't consider this a spoiler) at the outset I couldn't imagine it going down well for anyone, so I didn't invest in the characters.

That being said, it was very well acted and decently directed. It was also pretty smart.

I couldn't help but think that it had a message that wasn't heard, themes too unexplored; though perhaps it was because the movie was so clearly (frantically obviously) designed to be evocative for men rather than women. Which I suppose makes a certain amount of sense, but separates it from smarter film making.

It did evoke some emotions in me, such as the horrifyingly feminine urge to chase and have unloving (and probably violent and meaningless) sex with vulnerable yet dangerous and utterly unsuitable men.

4 out of 5 monkeys for the excellent acting.

Sunday the family and I sat down to watch Flags of Our Fathers. I feel very conflicted about this film. I was really touched by parts of the movie, but I felt a little manipulated by it; as though showing me sad scenes to make me sad isn't good enough. I want to be invested, I want to care. A great movie makes you think.

I also feel that it was a movie almost about nothing at all. A movie about Iwo Jima could have been much more evocative, informative, and plot driven, but this wasn't about Iwo Jima.
I am very disappointed in this movie, because I LOVE war movies. Love them. And while this was visually pleasing and well acted, I didn't think it was that great.

I'm very interested in seeing Letters from Iwo Jima, because I feel like the real drama was on the Japanese side of the lines.

4 monkeys.

Abject public humiliation? Check!

May I just preface this story with the note that had three drinks? Three. Regular drinks- not super drinks, just normal drinks. On St. Patrick’s Day… and I’m Irish Cherokee.

Last night I woke up with horrible stomach cramps. At about 9 am I crawled forth from my home with what felt like the worst hang over I have ever had in my entire life (aside from this party my friend Terry had in college). We’re talking vomit, shakes, the whole mess. I had plans with my friend Dawn, omelets (oh sweet zombie Jesus), rummage sale and museum. I choked down the omelet and started to feel pretty good… until we got in the car and start the winding winding road around Lake Washington. Up and down, swirling, twirling, it must be muskrat love the horrible urge to… vomit out the window. One more time?

I think this warrants both repetition and further detail:

Pulling into the charity rummage sale to benefit the most exclusive private school in Seattle, I rolled down the window and vomited from a moving vehicle—at noon, on Sunday.

I am awesome.

I am gorgeous and beautiful and full of a certain mystique that fills the hearts of men with thoughts of both everlasting love and powerful (sweaty) lust.

In all seriousness though, I have almost entirely given up on drinking because these days, I have one drink and the next day I wake up with what feels like a horrible stomach flu. I am now quite concerned that I may have developed an allergy to alcohol, or maybe it is just my reflux. Maybe I should actually take the prescription meds for my stupid reflux.

Meh. I’d rather vomit down the sides of my friends’ cars.

Upsetting

This morning while perusing the news the headline 'Teen Finds Dog's Head in a Gift-Wrapped Box' struck me as worth a click.
The short of it is that a 17 year old girl in St. Paul lost her Australian Sheppard and later its head was delivered to her house in a gift-wrapped box with a pack of batteries, a box of chocolates and a note that read "Congratulations Crystal. This side up. Batteries included."
Now, the part of the article that really interested me wasn't the scary awful dog head part, it was that "homicide investigators were looking into the case because of the "implied" terroristic [sic] threat."
I don't think that the fine people of St. Paul understand terrorist threats. Terrorists no, hot-dish yes.

This Film Is Not Yet Rated

Last night Steve, Addy and I watched Kirby Dick's This Film Is Not Yet Rated, a film about the MPAA rating system. The movie stalks and reveals the MPAA raters and examines how the MPAA operates. I don't want to reveal too much, so I will simply say that the movie was very interesting and quite funny. We particularly enjoyed an animated segment which showed how films move from G to NC-17.


Our basic thought on rating movies is that we don't want anyone to decide which movies are shown in theaters. An NC-17 means that nobody will advertise the film, and viewers will never even know it existed. As adults, I feel we should have the right to decide for ourselves if a movie is too crude, violent, or sexually explicit. I would like to know if a movie is going to have bad language, violence, or graphic sex (particularly rape), so that I wouldn't bring a child or watch the film with my Grandparents, but surely there is a way to notify people of content without making an overall rating.


I don't want to be censored by my government and I certainly don't feel like being censored by some shadowy group of nobodies who are supported by an appeals court of hoity-toity white male officers of major theater chains.

Animals attacking other people: hilarious.

Animals are attacking in a nationwide campaign of violence. First striking the press to quiet our cries for help...

Snakes hunger for the blood of Mets fans.

Then striking in middle America, the very area we are least likely to notice is missing:

AP is reporting that two stray cats in Nebraska (never heard of it) attacked residents of a home after sneaking in through an open door.
"She told the officer it happened when the two cats entered the residence and attacked her for no reason," [Chief of Police] Gutschenritter said. (Pause: Gutschenritter? Nice.)
Cats don't attack for no reason, they are certainly not known for that sort of thing... wait a minute....
Injuries included a woman bitten on both ankles, both knees and on her left calf, another bitten on the right calf (cats enjoy symmetry), and a little boy who opened his bedroom door, only to be bitten on his forehead, nose, left ear and right cheek.
Well, that wasn't as funny as I had hoped. Wait! I know, Gutschenritter!

I think we should all make a special effort to shut and lock our doors against Nature. If you want to go outside, turn on your TV instead. Nature is out there, everywhere...

I am a total idiot.

Between the stupid new daylight savings time change, the sinus infection (which I STILL have) and the upstairs neighbor with OCD who, when he goes outside for a 3 am ciggy must open-shut-open-shut-open-shut-open the door, then open the screen door, then shut-open-shut-open-shut-open-shut the door, then close the screen door, then smoke his cigarette, then open the screen door, then open-shut-open-shut-open-shut-open the door, then close the screen door, and then shut-open-shut-open-shut-open-slam shut and double lock, and the fact that I am reading The Stand, I cannot sleep. Since I cannot sleep in the PM, I cannot wake up in the AM. And because I am getting 3 hours of sleep I am a romping raging bitch from hell.

These things, the neighbor, the sinus infection, daylight savings time: totally not my fault. Reading about a super-plague wiping out the world and Satan and God battling for the disgusting souls of man, replete with war, famine, rape, murder, and Satan possessed weasels right before bed- absolutely stupid and completely my fault.

This is the stuff that keeps me up at night. The thin veneer of "humanity" that keeps us from raping and plundering our neighbors completely evaporating. End of the world. Zombies. Nuclear fall out. You name it- it is freaking hugely scary to me.

Ghosts, serial killers, vampires, true crime- not going to keep me awake at night.

I was so keyed up a few nights ago I had to watch CSI to calm down. Decomposing corpses don't usually lull me to sleep, but when faced with killer weasels, I'll take the maggots, thanks.

After reading or watching these "fall of human society" sorts of scenarios, I always remind myself that in case of killer disease I will probably be the first to die. In a zombie scenario, I will be the one moaning 'brains,' not the guy with a shotgun. Sure my earthquake kit, and various survival items would be great to have in the event of an actual disaster, but I will probably die trapped under the rubble, squished right next to my bottled water and thermal blanket.

This cheerful thought, earplugs, and some Nyquil usually can get me to sleep.

Buy my liberal hipster crap!

Many moons ago I purchased two balcony tickets to see Sarah Vowell at The Moore on the 31st @ 8pm. These tickets cost $60 bucks (not including the Ticketmaster anal-violation).

Now I am not able to attend. If you like the fantastic Sarah Vowell, commentator for This American Life, I would like you to give me as much as $60 and take these tickets from me.

I am going to mooch a stay in the fancy pants beach house with my uncle and unless I feel like driving to the Oregon coast by myself, I am going to miss my beloved Sarah Vowell.

Eh, Eh, any takers? Let me know.

Sitting in the Dark with Nerds.

Last weekend I saw 300, courtesy of my superfriend Ron, whose workplace bought an entire theater of tickets at the swanky theater in Lincoln Square. We got to stroll straight into the theater and snag excellent seats, while all the peons were forced to stand in a line that curled through the lobby like intestines for the other showing.
In short, 300 was visually stunning, well acted, well written, funny, sad, and did I mention that it had 300 oiled up men whose abs became their own individual characters?
It also had this very interesting message about freedom, namely that it isn't free. And about the little guys standing up for their way of life. I kept thinking through the whole thing, Crap-sticks, I think the USA is Xerxes. This makes me want to photo-shop G.W.'s face onto Xerxes' giant gold body.

300 also was interesting in that it had so much to offer:
Gore and sex for teen boys.
Abs and butts for the ladies.
Visual effects and general stylization for the artsie folks.
Comics for the dorks.
War for the war movie people.
Historical fiction for the history people.

It was cool to see people of all genders, races, and ages flocking and in fact standing in very long lines to see this film. You should go see it too (peer pressure!!). (It was super-gory, which doesn't bother me, but may bother you- so keep that in mind when you go. It was stylized gore, more real than Sin City, but still quite campy.)

It was a truly awesome spectacle. (Not 'tubular' or 'radical' style awesome, but 'holy crap I forgot to breathe for a second' awesome.)

Last Wednesday Steve, Addy & I caught the This American Life Live Tour and it was hilarious/interesting. Their new TV show on Showtime also looked cool. The live recording that we attended will be spliced with the other live show from other cities and will be aired on NPR this Saturday (on most stations).

I was very surprised to see the change in Ira Glass' appearance... until I realised that the last time I saw a picture of Ira Glass was probably 8 or more years ago. Sorry Ira, I'm a judger.

The theater was full of those lovely liberal Seattlites, and I did, I regret to say, have the urge to stand up and yell, "I'm voting for McCain!" But I resisted. That would probably be one of the least Republican places to be in... besides Bryn Mawr.

If you don't listen to TAL, you are a loser, but you can catch up.

This show is what blogging is about. It's what life is about: ordinary people and their stories. And also, squirrels on fire.

Thursday News

Lead singer of Blues Traveler, John Popper, totally crazy, also no longer fat.
His car was pulled over and the picture below is what the police seized from secret compartments (?!) of Popper's Mercedes SUV. Said Popper, "I didn't want to be left behind, [in case of natural disaster]."

Also said Popper, "I have big man boobs."

No seriously, I'm not making that up.

I'm Free.

John Inman, the actor who portrayed Mr Humphries in the BBC comedy, Are You Being Served passed away in a London hospital, after battling Hep A. John Inman was a very funny man, and I am sad at his passing.

Bitch Please.
Japan is starting an internal probe of the "comfort stations" run during WWII.

Last week Prime Minister Abe said there was no proof the women were coerced into sexual slavery. Abe claims Japan has apologised already for the program of institutionalized brothels, and will not apologise again. In spite of a wealth of evidence that Japanese agents kidnapped or coerced thousands of Korean and Chinese women into sexual slavery (including living survivors of the program and former soldiers) Japan has never properly apologised.

The previous apology was along the lines of "we are sorry about institutionalizing brothels." Rather than "we are sorry and will never again kidnap or coerece women into sexual slavery."

I do not believe in reparations for acts so far in the past, but I am damn tired of Japan trying to pretend that none of their war crimes occurred. I don't think that anyone believes that Japan can make up for what the past regime did, but saying it never happened is absolutely shameful.

I wanted to end this on some point about the sex trade, treatment of women, or treatment of Koreans in Japan, but I can't express what I want to say. I think I'm too disgusted.

You can't undo things by failing to admit them. You can't learn from your mistakes be declaring that they never happened. Looking at the acts of my own government, it isn't a stretch to believe that Japan could repeat their war atrocities.

It's pretty sad that I have to post more news about Comfort Women on International Women's Day.

Boring crap, about which, only Lynn and I care.

So Lynn and I were pondering Hannibal and his elephants. You know the war-elephants, they tried to cross the Alps. Whatever, you either are a dork and know, or you don't know, but I am too lazy to go into it here.
Anyway, Lynn thought they must be Asian elephants because of Alexander the Great. You see he ran into war elephants of the Indian variety. She also believed that African elephants cannot be tamed, while Asian elephants have been tame for thousands of years.
I gave her the tamed point, I certainly had never heard of tamed African elephants. But I also decided that the Indian elephants were Indian because at that point Alexander was in... India. Further, I know that Hannibal was from Carthage- which is in Northern Africa. I also recalled that he sent for elephants from Carthage, so I reasoned that they must be African plains elephants.
We were both wrong. They were African forest elephants, which are extinct, although some distant cousin of that breed, now apparently called African pygmy elephants, is endangered, but not yet extinct.
At any rate, when Lynn came over to discuss this wondrous elephant discovery, she accidentally touched one of Gargoyle Toe's numerous filthy abandoned soda bottles which then knocked over all of the bottles on the desk like dominoes.
Result: awesome.

Prank calls for boring boring people.

So, I tried to call that James character again, after he left my boss a voicemail. She (for some reason) didn't want to attempt call him.

Transcript of call:
Phone: Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.
My brain: Yes! It's about to go to voicemail.
Elderly Korean Gentleman: Annyong haseyo.
My brain: Fuck.
Me: James please. (with slight Korean accent on James)
Elderly Korean Gentleman: Annyong haseyo.
Me: Thanks, sorry.

James, seriously, quit leaving a number that only Koreans can use. Get a cell phone, tell your relatives what the crackers call you. I feel like I'm harassing the elderly.

Art Spiegelman

Art Spiegelman's lecture was very good. He is a sharp and very funny man, and I am really glad that we went to see him.
It was fascinating to watch him explain his confessional works while he chain smoked and cracked jokes.
He also used the two following phrases:
"avenging penis" (Hello, my name is Wang. You killed my father, prepare to die.)
"doin' it" (my favorite phrase of all time)
It was also nifty to see all of the Emerald City Comicon posty/flyer thingies, especially since Jim (who runs the gig) was there. It was less nifty to see how many were abandoned on the floor when people left....
If you have the opportunity to see Spiegelman speak, I encourage you to do so.

There is no escape from nature.

AP is reporting that a moose (who was already shot with a tranquilizer dart) took down a helicopter in Alaska. The moose suffered some fairly awful injuries and had to be put down- another tragic animal suicide... gorer(?).

In other thoughts related to the AP, I really am befuddled by their week-long ban on Paris Hilton coverage. It is amusing (to me) that the AP is making an effort to get noticed by not covering the movements of a woman who is making an effort to get noticed. Not to be an ass-hole, but news is the information about things occurring in the world which are of interest to the general population. The general population is busy waiting to vote on which moron will dance his way onto stage in the next production of the misogynistic masterpiece, beloved by women with no sense, about which you should not get me started: Grease.

Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo [fuck yourself] grease lightening.

Let's talk about favors, again.

Let me make something clear:

When you repeatedly come to someone for favors, you do not get to haggle with them over how to accomplish the favor.

You see it's called a favor, because I don't have to or shouldn't do it. If I choose to take pity on you, it is now up to me as to how/when something will be done. Now you are inconveniencing me AND irritating me.

You should keep this in mind before asking me for a favor again, I know I will.

Annyong?

Sorry, I've been swamped at work and busy with my job hunt and another creative endeavors.

I spent most of the weekend, either at, or prepping for my uncle's 50th birthday party. So that was good and I ate my weight in various swine products and that was good.

So here we are at Monday again. Monday is ok by me; especially since been up since 5:30... wooooooooo! Less sleep= super giddy Quiana. I had to prep for a big prof. dev. meeting quite early this morning.

Tonight I'm going to see Art Spiegelman's lecture with Jim, so life is good. I'm sure the lecture will be awesome, presuming I can stay awake. Woooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Now, I have a work anecdote:

Background of anecdote: I knew I had to call a household in which there was only one English speaker. Everyone else speaks Korean... only.

Anecdote (transcript of phone call):
Ring ring.
Elderly Korean Gentleman: Annyong haseyo.
Me: Hello? May I speak with James please?
Pause.
EKG: Annyong haseyo.
Me: Is James there?
EKG: Annyong haseyo?
Pause.
Me: James? Please?
EKG: Annyong haseyo.
Me: James? sigh.
And then I hung up on him....

What was I supposed to do? I know that annyong haseyo means "hello," but if I had said annyong haseyo, he would have expected some Korean ability. An ability which I sorely lack.