And that person is not Steve.
A couple weeks ago Steve accidentally left his Shuffle in plain view in his Honda and predictably someone stole it. But more significantly, recently someone pointed out to Steve that something else was also stolen. For Steve's last birthday I got him 20 sided fuzzy dice. Yes. Someone stole Steve's giant fuzzy RPG balls. Right out of his car.
How many role playing criminals do you suppose are out there? Apparently this elf-thief rolled a 20 in sneak.
Gamers are nerds and nerds are smart, so I allege that nobody wants to steal a measly Shuffle (for sale at Target for $50) but rather someone was out to steal Steve's furry balls. The Shuffle theft was merely the cover they needed to commit the real crime: neutering Steve.