My most recent serious relationship ex is engaged.
I can't help but consistently compare myself to his aggressively arranged normalcy. Shouldn't I want to get married and raise moppets and own a house and garden in mom jeans?
I think I only have one remaining serious relationship ex who is still single. Well Peter, I guess we are both similarly defective. Uhm... congrats on that.
I suppose the alternative is that I ruined you, you know, forever.
Here's hoping that you are merely by nature a surly curmudgeon, just like me.
4 comments:
Shit--I'm supposed to have Mom Jeans?
God dammit, I didn't get any of the necessary supplies when I shacked up.
How'd the move go?
Oh course you are! You are so behind! By now you should have the matching hat.
Move is done. I am pooped.
Now I just need to wait for the unpacking elves to come. They're going to come, right?!
The elves should start on the boxes packed in 1998 and stashed in Grandma's attic, that I did not know existed.
We're sorry to inform you, but because of the increasing cost of gas, travel expenses and a severe lack of any kind of 401k, you will not be receiving your Unpacking Elves.
You will, however, receive three free gnomes who may or may not be drunk/high and tend to have extreme cases of vertigo.
Good luck!
oh, also, let the list making commence!
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