Thursday, November 02, 2006

If men get any girlier we'll all be lesbian by June.

Size matters for makers of Aussie "Wonderjock"
Wed Nov 1, 11:37 PM ET

SYDNEY, Nov 2 (Reuters Life!) - Size really does count, just ask Australian underwear maker AussieBum which has just launched the "Wonderjock" for men who want to look bigger.

Since the launch seven days ago, AussieBum says it has sold 50,000 pairs of "Wonderjock", mostly on its Web site and a handful of stores around the world.

"The design of the underwear, separates and lifts. The fabric cup protrudes everything out in front instead of down towards the ground," said "Wonderjock" designer Sean Ashby.

"There is no padding, rings or strings," said Ashby, a co-founder of the Internet-based AussieBum firm. (What the hell would rings and strings be used for? Jesus Christ!!!)

Ashby said the idea for the "Wonderjock" was the result of online feedback from customers who expressed an interest in looking bigger, just like women using the "Wonderbra".

"When you go to a department store to buy underwear you usually get a grandmother serving, which is not the ideal way to get feedback," said Ashby. "Our customers give us feedback. We didn't realise that big is better."

I don't know what the fuck a 'grandmother serving' is as it relates to underwear, but I could have gone the rest of my life without that image in my head.
If this Wonderjock crap starts a new trend of tight pants on men, I swear to God I will start a separatist colony in Montana. Don't push me with you visible sex organ bulge. Neither literally nor figuratively.

Guys of the world,
Yes, size matters. But no, we do not want to be able to see your junk through your pants. We don't. Male genitalia = unpredictable and weird looking vacuum cleaner attachments.
Additionally, if you can get a lady to hang around until you are in your underwear, you're in.

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