Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Guess what's made of frozen water and falling from the sky.

Snow, in Seattle, in NOVEMBER.
I HATE snow. You see, that is why I moved back to Seattle.
Snow is completely dumbfounding for Seattlites. We have no idea about what to do when it snows. We live on hills and in valleys with steep roads and driveways. We don't have snow tires, we don't own chains. We don't own those nifty long-handled brushes to brush snow off your car's roof to prevent it from sliding off and hitting cars, pedestrians, and small animals.
The city owns like 6 plows. Total. We can't salt, because we it will kill the salmon.

Monday night at just before 4 pm I decided to cut out of work early, the weather looked awkward. On a whim I filled my gas tank. When I pulled into the 76, there was no snow. When I pulled out there was a blizzard.
I got on the freeway and sat for about 1.5 hours before arriving at my apartment 11 miles away. I had a good 3 inches of snow on my hood.
The next day I refused to leave my apartment- on the advice of the state transportation authority.
So today was my first day on the road since the arrival of treacherous frozen water. I arrived at my car, and attempted to put my key in the lock. No dice.
I returned home, debated putting my footie pjs back on and going to bed-- but no, I have a meeting today. I grabbed my lock de-icer, went out to my car, unfroze my driver's side lock, took the de-icer back into the house. Went back to my car, pulled on the door and found that it was frozen shut. The rear passenger door wasn't frozen, so I crawled in, started the car, then crawled out and scraped my windows.
I arrived at work to find that only 6 people in my entire division decided to show and today and tomorrow's meetings are both canceled.
So, in short, I could have been home in my footie pjs watching drunk Danny DeVito rambling incoherently on The View, whilst having hot chocolate with cognac, but instead I am here stuffing envelopes. in my scarf and hat, because it is so damn cold.

In other sad news, my friend Dan (The Man) emailed me a picture of Britney Spear's hoohaa today.

So, I would rate this day (in a scale of 10 monkeys being great -though admittedly unnerving- to 1 monkey being craptastic) 0 monkeys or possibly one monkey- but he is throwing poo.

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