Wednesday, November 14, 2007

There goes my street cred.

1. Someone Googled "canadian hookers" and ended up here. How disappointing for them.

2. I wrote a poem last night. I am so embarrassed.
Sometimes I just write a poem, and they're always terrible. Ugh.
Oh and PS- it was about poultry.

3. Recently some friends asked me when the last time I had sex was. I told them it was so long ago that I couldn't remember.
I know this may sound nuts, but I really could live without them judging me. After their declaration that women who have sex on a first date are sluts, I would rather do without their censure or praise. I know that I am 'one of the guys' but how far will my gender amnesty extend?


Drew said...

Women who have sex on the first dates are not sluts. I know plenty of sluts that won't put out on the first date.

Our society is so sex-negative, it's not funny. If we wern't meant to enjoy our naughty-bits, then we wouldn't have them, in much the same way that if we wern't meant to have ticking time-bombs waiting inside our body to kill us, we wouldn't have appendixes.

I think it's a much more grevious offense to god's design to have your appendix removed than it is to plug that hot girl at the bar, just like you know both she and god wants you to. Why do you think people cry 'Oh god! Oh God!" during sex? It's worship of the highest caliber.

qtilla said...

Let it be known that Drew knows lots of sluts.

Now everyone will want to visit you in Texas.

cymberleah said...

I am curious about your poem now. I truly wonder how one can write an ode to poultry.

As far as other people's sexual mores, there's not much you can do. I'm beginning to think humans have a biological need to hate a group of people "not like us" and that currently we're using sex as the modifier. Hate the prudes, or hate the sluts. Us v. them.

Groupthink. Fun. I won't even get into how my coworkers wouldn't vaccinate for STDs, as they are the right and proper result of messing around, and that you *deserve* to die in agony if you have sex with more than a single person. (Where "you" is defined as "not me, and not under various circumstances that make sense to me, but aren't applicable to you because I don't really like you, anyway.)

qtilla said...

An ode to poultry would be:

Delicious chicken,
far less greasy than a duck,
I will eat you up.

cymberleah said...

Turkey legs and thighs
Dark meat, juicy and tender
Food coma approaches

qtilla said...

They came to steal my snack;
a victim of Nature attack.
My sandwich they’d steal
as I ran with a squeal,
But my thieves chased me down chanting ‘Quack!’

cymberleah said...

'Twas once that I shilled for some chicken
I cried that it was finger lickin'
But lo and behold
The chicken was cold
And I ran from irate like the dicken....s.

Dawn of the Read said...

What tool do you use to see how googlers find you?

qtilla said...