Monday, April 23, 2007

Dear Tommy,

In 1985 you gave me chicken pox. For that I was already grateful, but for you to have given me chicken pox that stowed away in my spinal fluid, then creeped up inflaming a nerve and sprouting pox upon my back, exactly along my bra-line, I cannot be thankful enough.
Tommy, you suck.
My life sucks, and since chicken pox is technically herpes, I am on herpes meds and now my pharmacist will never want to be my boyfriend and it is ALL YOUR FAULT, TOMMY!
I hope you have the real herpes with warts on your man bits.
I should have predicted this would happen when you ALWAYS made me be the Decepticon.

Dear readers,
I have shingles. A quite painful chicken pox related (non contageous) virus... not the zombie plague, as previously reported. (Yes, I am a little disapointed too.)

I am worn out and headed back to bed.

13 comments:

Cymberleah said...

Aww, I was hoping it wasn't that. Shingles sucks.

Hopefully the outbreak is over soon, and it never comes back.

On the bright side, I can take down my steel zombie storm shutters again. Phew!

qtilla said...

You know, it's probably a good idea to just leave those up.
Just in case....

Cymberleah said...

Yeah, but the neighbors complain. They say they are ugly and detract from property values.

What good are property values during the zombie plauge? I ask them, but they just fine me $100 a day that they are up. Also, they have their dogs poop on my grass.

So, I use them sparingly.

qtilla said...

Have you tried pooping in their yards to retaliate?

Cymberleah said...

Nah, I've never been a public pooper.

qtilla said...

Perhaps a privacy screen?

Cymberleah said...

Now you're just making things complicated. It would be much easier to just rent a dog, seriously!

qtilla said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
qtilla said...

Why rent? I can loan you a nice Schnauzer, courtesy of the Monroe Schnauzer Ranch.
Yeeha!
Your choice of six.

Cymberleah said...

Do they come in black? Or spotted?

qtilla said...

Various shades of grey. And sizes ranging from super-fat normal schauzer height and and super-fat small pony height.

Cymberleah said...

Hmm. I dunno about grey. Black would be stealthy, and spotted is like camo, but just grey?

Do they come with a ninja suit, by any chance?

qtilla said...

I could make it happen.
Stealth Schnauzers. Yes I do like the sound of that.
I think that ties Monkey or Nothing for the name of my new band.