Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin.

Amusing (tho I do say so myself) excerpt about my afore mentioned cake class from my excruciatingly boring other blog:

As soon as I walked into the classroom I smelled cat pee and thought, “Oh there have been cats in here.” Then I thought, “Oh, it is probably not bring your cat to work day here at the craft store.” And then I realized that someone here smelled like cat pee. Knowing that none of my friends smell like cat pee, and guessing that the coach bag toting soccer mom and her adorable daughter probably don’t smell like cat pee, I guessed that the hefty toothless lady with the hairy chin was the source of the odor. Imagine my surprise when I learned that this former professional barrel rider/goateed/cat pee perfumed lady was our instructor.

She did not seem to know what was going on at all and at one point in the class actually pulled a hair out of her frosted cake. Also her frosting rose was bullshit.


After class I rushed home to tell the roomy about the toothless cat pee lady only to find he was not home. So I called my mom and she essentially told me that I was a judger and that not everyone can be expected to meet my hypercritical standards and that I need to learn to just allow others to “just be”. (At which point I can only assume that she rolled a doobie and did a little yoga.)


Ferretnick said...

I wish my mom would roll a doobie and do some yoga.
She might chillax a little.

She also teaches cake decorating, so if she did some herb action and yoga it might make for an intersting class. (Plus, she doesn't smell like cat pee, so bonus there.)

qtilla said...

Does your mom need a new Daniel to her Miyagi?

I have three more classes with cat pee lady, then it is nasal freedom for me.

Dr. Zoltar said...

As a rule of thumb I don't discriminate people on how they look. But I do on how they smell. I keep threatening to bring Lysol with me every time I go to the movie theater.


You really need to snap a pic of this lady since she seems almost, but not quite, completely unlike someone who should be teaching cake decorating. Can you bring in some dog pee to counter the cat pee? Or does it not work like that?

qtilla said...

I am woefully uniformed on cat pee, not really being into cats, but I do have access to plenty of dog pee, in case that turns out to be a viable strategy.

I will attempt to get a snap at one of the next 3 classes.

Elwood said...

I think that "Toothless Retired Rodeo Queen" will be the lead single off my 4th album.

qtilla said...

Is this from your band, Tom Selleck's Utopian Future?

you should all wear mustaches and tight shorts.

Ferretnick said...

Alas, my mom teaches over in Silverdale so that might be just a bit of a commute for taking classes.
She'd love to take on a new student though.

You should try and get "cat pee lady" under a black light and see if she glows in the dark. (like cat pee does)

qtilla said...

I can't figure out how to do that non-nonchalantly.

"Oh this old thing, I just love to see my teeth glow."