Latte Lady, I hope that you are having eye spasms because you better not be mad that I don’t know how to make a latte. I also don’t understand cricket; luckily it is not my JOB to know cricket from pickle ball. I do not ask you how to manage relational databases then roll my eyes when you don’t know, so keep those eyes straight ahead and learn how many pumps go in a 16 oz white chocolate mocha.
This morning when the 40 cups of drip that I had ordered for my meeting did not arrive, and I asked you about it and you said that I should have reminded you about it yesterday; then I did not lunge across the counter and throttle you. I did not tell you that it is not my job to remind you to do your job. I did not tell your boss. I did not pee on your car.
But I wanted to.
Just not today. For today I have bestowed mercy upon you, Undeserving Eye-Rolling Latte Lady Who is Not Good at Making Lattes, because it is Wednesday. And today will be good- I decided this in advance. Today I am bringing cake to The Comic Stop to celebrate Wednesday-ness in all it’s glory. But if you fuck with me tomorrow, I will cut you.