Ring Ring Ring
Office Depot Girl: *immense amounts of static as though I am calling Sri Lanka* Thank you for calling Office Depot Customer Service! How can I provide you with excellent service today?
Grumpy Quiana Whose Car Was Frozen Solid this Morning: I ordered some headphones I'd like to return.
ODG: Order number?
ODG: Were they defective?
GQWCWFSTM: No, they just sucked.
ODG: So they didn't work?
GQWCWFSTM: Mostly not. Mostly they just sounded staticy and thumpy. And they were made for people with giant heads.
ODG: *possible theatrical sigh* Thumpy?
GQWCWFSTM: Yes, they thumped.
ODG: *silence* Alright then, (clearly typing) defective.
GQWCWFSTM: This pair is probably not really defective, I'm sure they all suck.
ODG: *silence* Someone will call you back to complete this return shortly.
So now some lady calls me and her phone has even worse static and she tells me I can throw these out. That's weird right? I'm in some kind of Twilight Zone where everyone has a huge head and it is cheaper to have people throw out your faulty product than return it to the manufacturer.
Dude. Look at this, they are so unevenly weighted that one rides lower than the other. And I look like robot Princess Leia.
Help me Sri Lankan Office Depot Lady, you're my only hope!
Sorry for the low quality cell phone pic.