Dear Downstairs Neighbor,

I can't help but notice how depressing your music is. Do you need to talk?

I'm very concerned about your well-being, although the signals for depression are mixed. Constant odors of bacon and the strains of Death Cab for Cutie and Snow Patrol lead me to believe that you are depressed and fat, but the loud bellows and peels of occasional laughter and noisy talk about cupcakes leads me to believe that you may be fat and happy.

Anyway, let me know if you need anymore depressing music- I may have a few Tracy Chapman MP3's hanging around in case of your need. I'll let you get back to your sad hipster music.

Big Hugs,
Upstairs Boring Music Neighbor