Sunday, December 28, 2008

Kiss it, 2008!

I am unreasonably excited about the demise of 2008. I have not been particularly pleased with this year. It has just pretty much sucked. Everyone I know was in danger of losing their jobs (including me) and many did. It was an ugly political year in which things were said, and not just by the candidates, that made me unhappy and uncomfortable. Watching the world economy yo-yo all over the place made me worry about my future. There were big adjustments in my personal life, which are mostly fine now, but greatly contributed to a year of over-all unpredictable scariness.

It also snowed like a mother-fuck, which did not help.

I did make some new friends, but 2008 saw vast changes in my relationships with current friends. And to quote the immortal Garth, "We fear change."

There will likely be big changes in 2009. But it is my fondest hope that rather than being crippled with two months of anxiety induced hermitage, I will be able to control the new directions in my life.

I'm hoping that 2009 will bring a new plan. A carefully thought out, well graphed plan, possibly utilizing Excel. With the end of my student loans this year, comes the end of my excuses for not just dropping everything and moving to Spain. Or going back to school. Or joining the circus. By the end of 2009 I won't owe anyone anything.

In 2009 perhaps all the blooming hope for my future will inspire me to do the opposite of what I did this year in my personal life (neglect, shut out, and generally weaken friendships) and instead grow to be a better friend. I hope that this year I will have the courage to not push people away.

2009 will by my first full year as an auntie. I hope that it will also be my first full year as a sister. I hope next year I can forgive myself for not being the sister I should have been the previous 19.

This year I want to be better, do better, dream bigger. Be a better friend, be a better child, be a better worker, and care more about being better.

I do not want a vanilla new year. I want a big delicious sundae new year. With everything on it. I want a 2009 so great that it completely obliterates the memory of 2008 with sheer awesomeness.

I know this sounds resolutiony. But this is not my resolution. My resolution, like that of all women between 25 and dead, is to loose some weight. But my plan is to be better. To live better.

So enjoy the last days of 2008 (as much as possible). I will spend them planning, scheming, and perhaps graphing to prepare myself for a better year and another step into a better future.

Thanks for reading, and a preemptive Happy New Year.


Elwood said...

Happy New Year, Q.

erin said...

I feel quite similarly about 2008. It was a strange year and even with its bright spots, it felt like a cruddy year overall. But I also have high hopes for 2009... I finally I feel like I'm asking myself the right questions which I hope will lead to the right answers. (whatever that means.)

Anyway, you've always got me as an internet-stranger-friend out here reading. I will cheer you on through whatever 2009 brings. Here's to the new year and paying off student loans!

qtilla said...

Hooray for internet-stranger-friends!