Today I found out that I am unlikely to be laid off at the end of the fiscal year. Something that looked very very likely a few weeks ago.
I didn't mention it because I don't like to whinge. And I have to admit that there was a tiny bit of me that was nervously excited about fate doing what I have long considered doing. I love my coworkers and as jobs go, mine is not bad. I can't say I'm unhappy.
I would like something more challenging and I'm ashamed to say that I would like to get paid more. (Although I don't know why. I would just waste the money on clothes and expensive cooking gadgets. And maybe a new car.)
The key problem is just that I can't think of another thing I would like to do. I've always been a modest dreamer, and I hate to say it, but I am just so grateful that my life has gone this miraculously well so far that it is even hard for me to think of things that could be better.
Sometimes being happy gets in the way.
Without a plan for something greater I could never quit my job, but if my job were to disappear it would be freeing. (Though I do not have the savings to bear the expense.)
Anyway, so I am happy/sad, but mostly happy and who could ask for more?