1. Ways I could get rich:
-Old men have needs too... or so I hear.
-Slip and fall at Macy's, sue.
-Be prescribed allergy meds, grow third eye, sue.
-Fake own death for life insurance.
-Get knocked up by celebrity. Extort.
-Find buried treasure.
-Online adult film entrepreneur.
2. Things that are similar to Christmas:
Paris Hilton in Jail.
Paris Hilton put back in jail.
3. Last night I sat down and sorted the 1.5 foot tall pile of comics that I need to catch up on and now I am EXHAUSTED and the floor of my tiny studio apartment is covered in piles of comics. That being said, some of my favorite comics are reaching their end and if I catch up soon I will have (almost) no books with pictures (GASP). Let me know if you have any snazzy recommendations.
4. My high school reunion is next year and I have done nothing with myself. Quick! Someone give me an idea on how to make myself impressive in 12 months or less!
5. Today irritating coworker was condescending to the point that she (literally) patted me on the head and called me "honey." I refrained from saying, "I'll cut you." But only just.
6. I'm trying to think of amusing stories to but on this here blog. You can make suggestions. That's always good. No pressure. Really. But you could.
7. I typed bacon monkey into Google Images and got the following. I consider this funny. You should consider yourself warned.