I wholeheartedly support exporting Lindsay Lohan to Iraq.

Lindsay Wants to Entertain Troops in Iraq
TUESDAY AUGUST 08, 2006 09:00AM EST

TUESDAY AUGUST 08, 2006 10:55AM EST UPDATED

By Stephen M. Silverman

Lindsay Lohan wants visit the troops in Iraq – accompanied by New York Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton.

"I've been trying to go to Iraq with Hillary Clinton for so long," Lohan, 20, tells Elle magazine in its September issue, after she was asked if she had any big plans for next year. "Hillary was trying to work it out, but it seemed too dangerous."

She continues, "I wanted to do what Marilyn Monroe did (during the Korean War), when she went and just set up a stage and did a concert for the troops all by herself. It's so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be."

(Might I add that MM was an icon- a symbol of her age. Lohan is a cautionary tale. The is nothing sex kitten-esque about coked up blow-jobs and anorexia.)

Even without Sen. Clinton, Lohan is confident she can handle an Iraq trip on her own. "I'm not afraid of going," she says. "My security guard is going to take me to a gun range when I get back to L.A., and I'm going to start taking shooting lessons."

On her desire to handle a gun, she says, "Yeah, I have a dark side. I watched all those videos on Charles Manson for a while."

Elsewhere in the Elle interview Lohan says she's never had plastic surgery ("I've never done anything") and isn't using cocaine ("I'm not. There you have it. It's not true").

But she does like to fool with the press – she was 40 minutes late to the Elle interview – and tell reporters "things that aren't true … just because it's fun." Then, too, she admits, when it comes to tabloid attention she "still sort of" loves it.

Oh sweet Lord, this girl is crazed. Traveling with Lohan is no doubt high on Clinton’s list of things to do as she ramps up for the primaries. Furthermore, LL is a personification of why militants are so eager to kill the infidels.

Giving Lindsay Lohan a gun is like giving a kitten a machete, one minute she’s rolling around on her back playing with string and the next she’s slurping up antifreeze from the garage floor.