Massachusetts, you elect morons.

Fluffernutter sandwich angers Mass. senator

By STEVE LeBLANC, Associated Press Writer

Tue Jun 20, 10:00 PM ET

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BOSTON - It's creamy, it's sweet and it's become a staple of lunch boxes for generations of New England school children.

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Now, the beloved Fluffernutter sandwich — the irresistible combination of Marshmallow Fluff and peanut butter, preferably on white bread with a glass of milk handy — finds itself at the center of a sticky political debate.

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Sen. Jarrett Barrios was outraged that his son Nathaniel, a third-grader, was given a Fluffernutter sandwich at the King Open School in Cambridge. He said he plans to file legislation that would ban schools from offering the local delicacy more than once a week as the main meal of the day.

The Democrat said that his amendment to a bill on junk food in schools may seem "a little silly" — but that school nutrition is serious.

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His proposal seemed anything but silly to Rep. Kathi-Anne Reinstein, a Democrat whose district in Revere is near the company that has produced the marshmallow concoction for more than 80 years, Durkee-Mower Inc.

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She responded with a proposal to designate the Fluffernutter the "official sandwich of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts."I'm going to fight to the death for Fluff," Reinstein said.

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An aide to Barrios insisted the senator is not anti-Fluff and even plans to co-sponsor Reinstein's bill, although he still believes schools should cut back on Fluffernutters.

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"He loves Fluff as much as the next legislator," aide Colin Durrant said.

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Fluff has a long history in Massachusetts. The treat was popularized by H. Allen Durkee and Fred L. Mower, who cooked up the concoction in their kitchen at night and sold it door to door during the day.

Durkee and Mower purchased the recipe for Fluff for $500 from another Massachusetts man, Archibald Query, and also sold it door to door before wartime shortages shut down his operations. Query lived in Somerville, which is part of Barrios' district.

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The company didn't immediately return a call for comment Tuesday.

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Since its invention, legions of New England kids have grown up on Fluffernutters. Parents have used the sandwich as a food of last resort for finicky eaters, sometimes adding banana slices to complement the protein of the peanut butter.

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He’s not “anti-fluff”- you have got to be shitting me. These congressional aids, who would normally be writing papers on oh say, Social Security and brokering deals for Gun Control are now writing statements regarding semi-solid marshmallow product. This is what is dividing the Democrats? Jesus Christ, I hope John McCain runs.

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I think my favorite part of this story is that the only people who don’t have an opinion on Fluffgate, are the manufacturers. The Fluff Manufacturers are above this sort of vicious in-fighting.

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Furthermore, I’m sorry, but is that not the most disgusting thing you have ever heard? I almost came through the window of the Dairy Queen in BC that put marshmallow sauce on my brownie sundae. That bastard is just lucky I couldn’t get my seatbelt off in time!

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We are in the middle of an obesity epidemic and Massachusetts is feeding their kids a marshmallow and peanut butter sandwich on white bread? Why don’t they just give them a Twix? Christ, at least Fig Newtons are fruit and cake.

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I can’t believe that asking for better nutrition in schools has changed into an argument about marshmallow product. You know what counts as a veggie in our schools? Salsa and ketchup. You wonder why poor kids are fat? The only meals a day they may get are comprised of bread, cheese, and sausage for breakfast and “nachos” for lunch. If they get a third meal, you can bet it is fast food, because most folks can’t afford proper food anymore.

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Kids make shitty decisions; that’s why they can’t vote, smoke, or sleep with Rob Lowe. If we don’t slap some green beans on their plates, they certainly won’t ask for them.

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The government wants better schools and to that end they’re raising standards for teachers, texts, and testing. What the hell, I’m sure it’d be no trouble for them to set higher nutritional standards for school meal service—since these are all unfunded mandates anyway.

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At any rate, I guess I can rest easy with the knowledge that Massachusetts will soon have a state sandwich. I had been so worried about Massachusetts’s official lunch preferences.