Today the Fail Whale came to visit me at work and would not leave. Luckily it didn't bring the uhm.... uhm... Care Bear with. (Maybe it brought the Fuck it Bucket instead?) ["author's" note: I'm too tired for this rhyming business.]
Failures [so far] today:
1. Forgot important legal documents for meeting today. FAIL. (No one noticed.)
2. Forgot to bring bottled water. FAIL. (No one cared.)
3. Spilled coffee (How much? A LOT) all over inside my car. FAIL. (I am a huge idiot.)
4. And I look like one too in my outfit chosen at 6 am. (SIX AM! BWAH!?!, you say. Dude. I know, too early.) FAIL. I am a huge idiot and my outfit proclaims to the world. Look at me, I may be your crazy red-neck cousin that your mother did not let you play with at the reunion on account of the lice and the what not. (Still single, tell your friends!)
Everyone keep your fingers crossed for the rest of the day. Perhaps you should periodically text me and remind me to breathe.