Apple and Tree: Measuring the Distance of the Fall, Hoping it is Really Far

Monday, between 9:30 and 11:30 pm.
Mother leaves a vm asking for my new address, the same new address I have emailed to all 3 of her accounts twice. Didn’t call her on account of how it was nearly midnight.

Tuesday, 6 pm.
Receive vm from Grandma asking me to call her back immediately. Did so and was admonished for not calling my mother back for days. Notified her that mother called less than 24 hours ago for information she already has.

Tuesday, 8 pm.
Receive second vm from mother again asking for my address and chastising me for:

1. Leaving her hanging for days and now my b-day card will be late.
2. Not having given her my new address sooner.

Also notes that she left a vm on the home phone (Apparently we have a vm on that line. Would have been nice to know that one existed.) Note that my mother knows I am not home and have not been home for 20 some odd days and will not be home until August, but can’t remember what she has dialed so leaves to voicemails with identical lengthy chastisements.

Tuesday 10:30 pm.
Called my mom back on my home phone, which has free calling to Canada. Notified her of my new address and reminded her of how it has been emailed. Twice. Then in engaged in circular argument:

Q: You called yesterday.

Mom: No, I called Monday and you never called back.

Q: YES. You called at 10 pm YESTERDAY.

M: No, I didn’t, I called Monday.

Q: No, I mean yes. Today is… oh forget it.