At the gym Kanye-style!

I tried a new machine at the gym last week. IT WAS AWESOME:






















I'd never used the Adaptive Motion Trainer before because it looks too much like this:




















Scary right?

No?

Ok, well, here is what it looks like when someone is on it:





















Still no? Well, it is yellow and gray and taller than me. I assure you that the yellow really stands out at the gym where everything is gray or black.

Anyway, I got on there and once I got it going, it was like when I was young and lithe and could run with leaping strides. Those days before I jacked up my knee and foot from running with leaping strides.

And my knee was fine and my foot was fine. And I was leaping like a GAZELLE. And I was (loudly) telling Angie, my gym buddy, "I AM LIKE A GAZELLE! LEAP! LEAP! LEAP!" Angie choking on her water, as I moved my arms diving through the air in gazelle hoofs-like motion.

"I AM THE GAZELLE! GAZELLE! WOOSH! I'M FLYING! GAZEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLE!!!!!!!!!!"

"WOosh! Gazelle. gazelle... Holy shit. I'm so tired. How long have we been on these things?"

"10 minutes"

"FUCK."

So fine, I only did a mile, but for 50% of the time I was a gazelle.