Monday, January 31, 2011

Comeuppance is a B-word

When my cousin Sean was little he used to "miss the target" and I quickly tired of unexpectedly soggy socks and buns in the bathroom. So I told him that there was a potty monster and he liked a tidy potty, so if you made a mess, the potty monster would drag you into the toilet and eat you like a cheeto.

Of course, while achieving the desired effect of a dry potty environment, there were some undesirable side-effects involving nightmares, fear of night-time potty use, and the like. (Hey, cut me some slack, I was a teenager and this is the son man who told 5 year old footie-jammied me that he thought Santa was a burglar and shot him.)

But now Sean isn't the only one scared of the potty. The potty monster is real and lurking in the bowl with his 4 closest friends, according to the world's laziest image from the Seattle Dept. of Public Health website.

I've long been aware that Seattle has a rat problem (though not on the scale of Philly, New York, or Tokyo) and I'd also heard that rats could come up toilets, but I was not aware that Seattle has been tracking the horrifying scourge of toilet rats. For "fun" you can check the map of "Rat in the Toilet Complaints" to see if rats have sprang forth from toilets in your neighborhood.

Luckily the authorities have some advice:

Stay calm?! That's easy for them to say; it's not like a rat tried to touch their hiney with its greasy little rat hands!

I liked Ratatouille as much as the next girl, but GACK!

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'll be turning the lights on the next time I go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.


Steve said...

maybe I've just decided that I want everyone I work with to think I'm mental, but I've just printed out that map of complaints and posted it on my door. Sleep well, everyone!!

qtilla said...

Is this because you want sole use of the office potty?

You can tell us, we can keep a secret.

Steve said...