Wednesday, December 15, 2010

"Asshole" not acceptable Post Office language.

Dear USPS Customers,

Get your shit together. I can drop any bad word I want on this blog, because people can choose to read this or not. But, dear fellow humans, when you are at the post office, I do not care how long the line is, paste on a happy face and just wait. I know it sucks. Nobody wants to be here. But it really sucks for everyone when you are a d-bag.

Don't be rude to the workers there. Accept your fate. You are at the post office on the 13th of December. This is your fault.

And you, chivalrous guy who stepped up top defend the post lady and ended up in a yelling match that looked like it might become physical, your heart was totally in the right place, but your language was in the Marines.

Yes, that other guy was an enormous sphincter, but when you curse him out in front of young children and ladies older than my granny, you join the asshole parade. Earmuffs, buddy. Earmuffs.

There was a time where people wore hats. And your hat reminded you that you are in public. Your hat reminded you to be a member of a society with rules for appropriate behavior.

I think we need hats again. To tip. To hold in our hands, preventing hands curling into fists. A hat, to worry about losing should you set it own to smack some guy at the post office in front of some preschoolers, nervous office ladies, and God.

If you can't behave appropriately amongst society, stay home. Use Amazon. Don't threaten other people at the post-office. I was dialing 911 and edging towards the door to shut both of you idiots out and away from the regular people.

Get some self-respect. Do you really want to be the kind of dude who gets arrested at the post office? You're already the dude there in sweats.

Where's dignity gone? Graciousness? Are they out there with the hats? Lost forever?

No comments: