Friday, July 10, 2009

Abandoned Blog Blues

Sorry (again) about the blog abandonment.

I'm really in awe of the folks who can really focus on writing almost everyday. I swear I am just as interesting. In fact, right now I am really busy negotiating world peace and baking things.

Actually, I've just been dogsitting in a house with no internet access, and blogging from the iPhone is not the most horrible thing in the world, but it isn't exactly a joy either.

SO, in order to not write about the turbulence in my personal life and/or my trip to Indiana to visit my estranged father and brother (culminating in my brother being arrested), let's chat about things on film.

So I saw Transformers 2 last weekend and while my buddy Deuce really enjoyed it, I'm going to have to say that might be the worst movie I have ever seen that was not a SyFy original film. I've seen Ice Spiders. Twice. So please believe me when I say that that was needlessly the worst movie ever made and not in a good way.

I also saw The Proposal. Yes, these romantic comedies are very predictable, and in fact I may have watched already seen The Proposal when it was called My Fake Fiance (an ABC Family Movie), starring Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence (still totally hot) wherein they also hate each other but plan a fake wedding (because Joey is in debt to a mobster named The Monkey and Melissa wants fee housewares) but then they fall in love for realz. However, The Proposal was very well made (even compared to the movie magic that was My Fake Fiance). Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds are very gifted comedic actors who also look good naked. So good for you two!! (Betty White really did steal the show though.) So, in conclusion this movie will undoubtedly end up in my humiliating collection of chick flicks:

While You Were Sleeping (Sandy B. rescues a man she has had a crush on from certain death, then his family thinks they are engaged. And she almost marries him when he wakes up, but has fallen in love with his brother- Bill Pullman- instead.)

Last Holiday (Queen Latifah thinks she is dying so spends all her life savings to go on a vacation where she charms everyone and eventually wins the love LL Cool J and, wait for it, doesn't die, but instead learns how to really live. *tears gushing*)

Sweet Home Alabama (Reese Witherspoon runs away from her small town life and husband, becomes famous and invents a whole new past but is forced to return home to get her divorce, but doesn't get a divorce because she still loves him and learns loves herself.)

Crossing Delancy (Amy Irving works in a book store and takes care of her bubbie. Her bubbie wants to set her up with a nice Jewish man, but he sells pickles and Amy really wants to be with this famous womanizing author... or does she? Hint: she doesn't. Also what woman doesn't want to be with a man who has unlimmeted ammounts of delicious pickles?!)

I have no idea why I am telling you about my dvds of shame. I'm not saying they're good. I'm just saying I like them.

Anyway, I also watched Miracles (which apparently aired on TV, though nobody bothered to tell me) starring Skeet Ulrich as a miracle investigator with the Catholic church who has a crisis of faith after an authentic miracle is ignored and goes to work for a private society investigating paranormal events.

I really wish America was ready for a show that says, "I know you enjoy thinking of God like a cross between Stanta Claus and your grandpa, but you know, having an omnipotent being paying too much attention to you is maybe scary." There is a reason that the phrase "God fearing" exists. It was a pretty interesting and complex show, and I am really sad that it was never allow to mature and complete the creepy storyline. The question being, is God "good" and how do you know when God is influencing you versus something "bad" influencing you. Since Miracles was canceled I will never find out.


Dr. Zoltar said...

Glad you enjoyed Miracles. I like shows like that (i.e. Joan of Arcadia) even though I'm atheist. Shows that deal with morality are always interesting.

God Is Nowhere
God Is Now Here

Drew said...

I'm really sorry that you didn't like Transformers 2, Q. I for one thoroughly enjoyed it, though I will readily recognize that if you were to judge it on the same set of criteria that one normally uses to judge movies, you would reach the conclusions that you reached.

In this case, I would submit that normal critera do not apply. You know going into it that it's a 2 hour commercial anyway. I have found that the enjoyability of the movie dramatically increases if you dispense with such hinderances as reason and logic.

My criteria for the first movie was as follows:

1.) Are there huge robots?
2.) Do these robots transform into other objects?
3.) Do these... transformers, if you will, thoroughly thrash each other and inflict enormous amounts of property damage in the process?

The first movie was a big check on all three of these. Since it was Transformers 2, all I really wanted was more of the same, and I got it in spades.

I came to see Megatron get shot in the face. He got shot in the face, twice! That's more than I asked for!

Steve has pointed out that my criteria are only slightly modified from those used to judge pornography, and that T2 is essentially robot porn. I would agree. Maybe T3 will have hot decepti-slut Alison on Ravage action on top of Devistator as he stomps through LA while simultaniously launching fire LeBoff & Fox screaming into orbit via Astro-train.