Thursday, April 30, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Happy Thoughts!
Today my coworkers were fretting about the economy. I told them to buck up. After the SwinePacolypse there will be so many new jobs for the survivors to take!
Don't forget to wash your hands!
Viva la Swine!
Don't forget to wash your hands!
Viva la Swine!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Dear "Pirate Captain",
I think you may not fully understand what pirating entails. You were probably excited about parrots, rum, and money. I understand that, I also like striped pants and saying "arg". But you may have gotten a romanticized view of pirating (did you see the Princess Bride?). You should blame the media for providing these liberal hippy-dippy portrayals of pirating as a professional career.
So let me set things straight for you. I am not going to sugar-coat this, pirating is dangerous work. For one thing, people will try to shoot you all the time. (This may be why pirating has gone out of fashion.) And I had not known this previously, but apparently pirating makes you get super self-righteous and confused.
When you kidnap a ship captain, hold him hostage for days and threaten to kill him, generally you don't get to call shenanigans when someone shoots your buddy. Now I don't make my living on the high seas, but I'm fairly certain that you set the level of discourse by showing up with a gun.
You say:
“Every country will be treated the way it treats us,” Abdullahi Lami, one of the pirates holding a Greek ship anchored in the pirate den of Gaan, a central Somali town, was quoted by The Associated Press as saying in a telephone interview. “In the future, America will be the one mourning and crying.”
It is a little late to be trying for the Golden Rule.
But here's the deal. You kidnap our guys and then in retaliation we'll just go to your town and kidnap some of your buddies. I think this is pretty reasonable.
Think about it, let us know.
Sincerely,
America
So let me set things straight for you. I am not going to sugar-coat this, pirating is dangerous work. For one thing, people will try to shoot you all the time. (This may be why pirating has gone out of fashion.) And I had not known this previously, but apparently pirating makes you get super self-righteous and confused.
When you kidnap a ship captain, hold him hostage for days and threaten to kill him, generally you don't get to call shenanigans when someone shoots your buddy. Now I don't make my living on the high seas, but I'm fairly certain that you set the level of discourse by showing up with a gun.
You say:
“Every country will be treated the way it treats us,” Abdullahi Lami, one of the pirates holding a Greek ship anchored in the pirate den of Gaan, a central Somali town, was quoted by The Associated Press as saying in a telephone interview. “In the future, America will be the one mourning and crying.”
It is a little late to be trying for the Golden Rule.
But here's the deal. You kidnap our guys and then in retaliation we'll just go to your town and kidnap some of your buddies. I think this is pretty reasonable.
Think about it, let us know.
Sincerely,
America
Friday, April 10, 2009
See!
... I'm not the only one shouting "Eye of the tiger, boys, eye of the tiger!" at small geeky boys holding LEGO robots.
Via Daily News:
Nerd Herd spurred on at cheering sendoff to represent city at international robot competitionFIRST Robotics, helping geeks meet cheerleaders since 1989.
Via Daily News:
Nerd Herd spurred on at cheering sendoff to represent city at international robot competitionFIRST Robotics, helping geeks meet cheerleaders since 1989.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
More Styrofoam Chickens, Please!
1. I was Wil Wheaton's helper at the Emerald City Comicon last weekend, and I tried really hard not to a) humiliate myself, b) crowd him, c) say anything terrible to humiliate Jim.
I managed to not say, "Gee Wil, I saw you on Criminal Minds and I really bought that you were a rapist. Good on you!" OR "I had a HUGE crush on you as a little girl, but then I discovered Neil Patrick Harris, so I've moved on." So, let's tentatively consider this a success. We'll know for sure that I was not scary when Wil (hopefully) doesn't make a blog post about how he met this crazy chick. *fingers crossed*
2. The point of the story above: I met Wil Wheaton. (Note gloating.)
3. My car decided I should spend more time in Ballard instead of coming home tonight; I eventually showed the Merc who's boss, but it would be awesome if I didn't get laid off so that I could buy a new car. SIGH.
4. I'm looking for a new volunteer position to replace tutoring which will end in June. Anybody ever volunteered someplace that really rocked? Let me know.
5. Best sentence I read today:
"Since when did JoAnn Fabrics become the arbiter of MY morals? I'll go to church for that . . .and when I want styrofoam chickens I'll go to JoAnn's." [ZANG!]
From Jezebel's Jo-Ann Fabrics Refuses to Carry "Controversial" Issue of Quilter's Home Magazine.
I managed to not say, "Gee Wil, I saw you on Criminal Minds and I really bought that you were a rapist. Good on you!" OR "I had a HUGE crush on you as a little girl, but then I discovered Neil Patrick Harris, so I've moved on." So, let's tentatively consider this a success. We'll know for sure that I was not scary when Wil (hopefully) doesn't make a blog post about how he met this crazy chick. *fingers crossed*
2. The point of the story above: I met Wil Wheaton. (Note gloating.)
3. My car decided I should spend more time in Ballard instead of coming home tonight; I eventually showed the Merc who's boss, but it would be awesome if I didn't get laid off so that I could buy a new car. SIGH.
4. I'm looking for a new volunteer position to replace tutoring which will end in June. Anybody ever volunteered someplace that really rocked? Let me know.
5. Best sentence I read today:
"Since when did JoAnn Fabrics become the arbiter of MY morals? I'll go to church for that . . .and when I want styrofoam chickens I'll go to JoAnn's." [ZANG!]
From Jezebel's Jo-Ann Fabrics Refuses to Carry "Controversial" Issue of Quilter's Home Magazine.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
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