Thursday, March 19, 2009

A few things...

1. I am very intrigued by the Space Bat hoopla. Here is NASA's official release.
Here is a tribute:

2. Today at work I asked my coworkers if it is always like this, one damn thing after another. You see, I graduated from college shortly after September 11th and I had always assumed that this is simply how things always are. My colleagues assured me that no, things have really just been truly shitty for the entirety of my adult life.


At the start of the year I made this promise to myself that things would be better this year. And they aren't. I haven't been a better friend or daughter. I have only been a better worker by necessity. I haven't been happier, despite an appalling amount of effort in this regard. In fact, I really feel that I have bitched more in the last three months than the last ten years combined.

But maybe it isn't because I'm not trying hard enough. Maybe it is just that things are sucking a bit. So here it is:
I hereby officially acknowledge that things SUCK right now- and that it is ok, because I am here to facilitate the awesome. I will not be discouraged by the sucking. I am redoubling my efforts to be awesome. Things are going to get better through my SHEER FORCE OF WILL.

Do not worry. Things can always get worse. And fuck it, once you hit the bottom, there is no place to go but up.

If you need assistance with locating awesome, you know where to find me. If the economy has you whipped and crying, I am here and I HAVE COOKIES. If you're laid off and lonely, I have cable and a couch.

So, consider yourself on notice, Universe. Things have been worse, things will get better, and no matter what you do, universe, I will be lurking to Pollyanna the ever living hell right out of you.

3. Did you know that fish and submarines control their buoyancy in the same way? Now I know this because one of my fish is lethargically lounging on the bottom and swimming frantically, while gasping pitifully then sinks like a rock.
I went to the good pet store in Kirkland and inquired as to whether he needed a little fishy Xanax or something and guy told me that Steve (the fish) has a swim bladder problem and to buy my fish shrimp and feed them cooked peas. So now my fish ($10 for all four) are being fed shrimp and peas (over $10), like they are at the fucking Red Lobster.
In other news, normal families can't afford shrimp and peas, so those mopey little bastards better cross their fins that I don't get RIF'd or the gravy train is not coming to Fishville anymore.


Dr. Zoltar said...

As for #2, I'm with you there. My job has gone from awesomely fun to shitty in about 6 weeks. Now I just try to hunker down and make it 8 hours each day without fucking something up.

My particular predicament is that I'm trying to learn new computer stuff but there is no documentation and no one has time to train/educate me. Makes my days exciting when I have to guess at stuff and instead start a figurative fire.

Hillary said...

I am intrigued by the shrimp and cooked peas. Are you sure he wasn't bullshitting you? Why do the peas need to be cooked? Do raw peas not heal swim bladders as effectively as cooked peas? My mind is blown.

qtilla said...

I have actually wondered why they must be cooked. Maybe this makes them more smooshy?

Or maybe some teenage jerkface is at home telling all his friends about the shrimp and pea diet.

Also peas smell like farts. BLEH. Cannot eat peas. And I eat beets so I feel like that is saying something.