Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Insult + Injury

Last week I was very sternly instructed to stay home Friday and stay off my stupid foot all weekend. So I stayed home Friday; but I was in my apartment from Thursday at 6 until Saturday morning and I felt that if I sat in my apartment for even one more moment I would actually die.
Pajama clad, on crutches, in pig-tales and a Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy hoodie, I began my two block pilgrimage. I made it all the way to my beloved Albertsons (which was closing it's doors for good that very day) and I gazed upon it's beautiful convenience. Sighing, I turned towards the street, and put my hands in my hoodie pouch to get my netflix returns and letter to Charles. There in front of me was a completely empty patch of dirt. Let me clarify. In highschool, there was a mailbox there; in college, also a mailbox; last Wednesday, a mailbox; Saturday, a patch of dirt. Was my mailbox stolen? Did high school kids show up and throw it the back of their truck? Were they, at that very moment, watching people's netflix and reading their birthday cards? Did the Post Office show up and just remove it because Albertsons was moving? Surely mailbox locations are not contingent to Albertsons locations.
I was standing there staring at the ground when a beautiful young fellow came jogging past. Slowing to a stop he said, "Are you ok?" I said, "Yes, but my fucking mailbox is completely gone." As opposed to partially gone. Good job Q! "Oh, well I guess you can mail it at home." Here I am in Underdog jammy pants and a hoodie, on CRUTCHES, what does he think I'm on my morning constitutional?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

There are some aspects of rental life that your average suburban homeowning type just doesn't recognize.

1. You might not have mail pick-up at home.
2. You might not have a driveway to park in. In fact, you probably don't. And not all buildings have parking lots, either. Thus, street parking.
3. You might not have a dishwasher.
4. No matter how much you want to, you are probably not allowed to install a pot rack (for cooking pots, not for herbs), or a shelf, or any of the millions of useful things from IKEA that require screws to attach to the wall.
5. You might not have laundry machines at home.
6. You probably don't have a place where the courier service can leave packages when you're not home. And, courier services don't let you schedule a time. That's why some of those packages get returned when you don't send them postal service like your renting friend requested.

Yeah.

-ESV