Who is this guy?

Because that is not John McCain.

Like John Stewart, I've become increasingly disenchanted with John McCain, going from a full out crush to a festering dislike. John McCain has become a man I can't respect. His recent behavior has really made me thankful for my vote for Obama- a decision I did not make lightly and that was directly caused by John McCain's unexpected and sudden reluctance to be John McCain.

Listening to his deluded and desperate comments during the Don't Ask Don't Tell senate hearings has been the pinnacle of my disillusionment. As James Fallows asks in The Atlantic, where did the strong and principled John McCain go and why was he replaced with a man who, unlike so many others, is more conservative and ineffective in his old age. Isn't the knowledge that comes with old age the wisdom to better understand your fellow humans and differentiate between truth and prejudice?

Joe Lieberman has clearer understanding of just what this legislation means in America's development:

12/2/10- SEN. JOE LIEBERMAN (I), CONNECTICUT: We‘re on the front lines of a turning point in American history. And we have these in every generation. This country, from the beginning, was defined not by its borders, but by our values.

The Declaration of Independence says, you know, we‘re all endowed by God with those equal rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And every generation has realized those rights better, because they weren‘t realized at the beginning. In 1776, for women, for people of color, et cetera, et cetera.

In our time, one of the great transitions occurring is the growing readiness and understanding among the American people that you simply—it‘s just wrong and un-American to discriminate against people based on their sexual orientation.

Beautiful.

The Daily show had a most interesting segment about this that I highly recommend you watch. John Stewart is a very diverting and sexy man.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Gaypocalypse Now
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor The Daily Show on Facebook

There is only one "n-word"; this word is not 'nuts'.

Dear American news media,

'Nuts' is not a bad word. You could also say 'balls' or 'testes', neither of which are bad words. If you can call a woman a bitch on TV, CNN can use the word 'nuts' if it is legitimately news worthy. I don't want to shock anyone, but I hear from various sources that the majority of men have testicles, so I think that it is probably fine to say.

Please quit calling it 'the n-word', it's juvenile and honestly quite silly.

Thanks!

q.

And while I'm on the topic...

This whole Jackson-Obama "feud" is ridiculous and the situation reminds me of the plot of an old episode of Scrubs, in which JD doesn't realize his mic is still on. (Coincidentally, this episode was about race.) Unprofessional.

Furthermore, I don't ask my pastor who to vote for (Obama), but if he started trying to tell me who to vote for, that would be the end of his religious guidance.

Jackson is a sham and in my opinion has not helped anyone, black or white, in America since the mid-sixties, unless you think so-called "interracial" political coalitions are super.

Additionally, Jackson has been a divisive force within every group he has belonged to, from the SCLC, to the Democratic Party, to America.

Oh and by the way, he's an anti-Semite.

Oh and he's a baptist minister who cheated on his wife (hypocrite) and was too stupid to use protection (so stupid) .

And lest we forget, he is a grown man who uses the word 'nuts' and an idiot who doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut in a TV studio.


If you are the only person in the universe who isn't sick of this topic, you can catch up at the NYT.

Link-O-Rama

This is the most disappointing news story ever. Summary: My shower gel is probably giving a sea otter cancer right now. I know that this world is filled with worse troubles, but I LOVE my shower gel. MURRRR.

Interesting article on interracial marriage and rogue legal clerks.

Awesome story on Bruce Wayne on GCN.

Why I don't listen to NPR on my way to work every day.

This morning a man was talking about the rising cost of food in America. And something he said bothered me. He was talking about how food has risen drastically over the last 3 years. I do not challenge this assertion, I know it to be true.

Disclaimer: I know that people in America go hungry, that food stamps buy less and less, and that rising food costs lead to cuts in other areas, especially health care and education, for families near and below the poverty line. I want people to know that this concerns me, but I want to bring up the following point, which is:

Americans have gone from spending 22.7% of their income on food in 1929, to spending an approximate average of about 11.3% of their income in the early to mid 2000's. Yes, food prices are on the rise. We are spending in 2008 about the same percent of our income in food on average, as in the early 1990's. [Source: USDA Economic Resource Service.]

So, why is this making people freak out?
1. The "oil crisis". People are spending more on gas and it is upsetting.*
2. The "global grain shortage". By "global" the US means everyone else is low on grain. We're fine, but people don't know it.
3. General economic downturn. People know that the dollar is low and that we are headed towards troubled times and are panicking.
4. It's an election year. Uniting voters against Republicans by creating artificial crises is an excellent strategy. It worked very well for Bush when we invaded Iraq.

The average US citizen spent about 10-11% of our income on food in 2002. A U.K. citizen spent about 13%, contrasted with a Mexican citizen who spent about 27%. In 2002 the average spending on food in the Philippines was nearly %50 of one's income. [Source: USDA Economic Resource Service] My guess would be that everyone is now paying more, but that the difference between our expenditures has probably remained steady since then, though I do not have hard data to back this up.

I would conjecture that the reason that other countries spend more on food are:
1. America is massive and grows a lot of food.
2. More money is made by exporting food than keeping it in poor countries. Minority rich get richer and the majority poor stagnate.
3. Smaller nations and nations with different geological and meteorological circumstances probably cannot produce as much food.
4. The US government controls food prices through various means.

I think that the bottom line of global food is that, while technically every item is only worth what you or I will pay for it, every item has a certain cost associated with its production. We have been using artificial means to hold down prices. Instead of spending income on necessities we are able to spend income on crap that we don't need. It goes nicely with the enormous sense of entitlement. The concept of "affordable luxury", a car in every garage, and designer clothes for dogs probably stems from necessities being cheaper than they realistically should be.

I guess my point is that food and oil cost more everywhere else and at nearly every other time in the history of this country. If people in Spain and Norway can mostly afford food, so can we. We just can't afford that limited edition H2 and food and gas.

The real question is how are we going to make sure that everyone in the U.S. gets fed enough. If our poor can't feed themselves now, they will suffer. You and I will just buy bicycles or smaller cars, cheaper or fewer handbags, and do things our own damn selves. And unless you're buying domestically created cars or handbags (har har) only retailers (most of which are owned by the wealthy minority) will suffer. (And I couldn't care less.)

Final verdict:
Quit your bitching. Almost all of us could and should pay realistic prices for our commodities. But what will/should we do for those who can't?





*Aside: I am irritated with Clinton's idea to temporarily abstain from taxing gasoline. A better way to alleviate the gas crisis would probably be to take that gas tax money and spend it on public transportation infrastructure for major US cities. When gas hits $8 a gallon this girl will have been riding her bike to work for months. Making gas 18.4 cents cheaper per gallon is not even a band aid, it's like sticking your finger in a ten foot wide crack in Hoover Dam.

Democratic Response: Condescending Edition

Dear Kathleen Sebelius,

Seriously, don't talk down to me. Don't imply that I'm wondering what the State of the Union means to me. Don't say that seeing who stands or who claps is not significant because I do want to know if my candidates are publicly supporting certain statements.
Do not come to me and talk about bipartisanism (though I understand your background would qualify you to do so) while asking the president to solve the budget crisis and make plans. Don't try to be sneaky with me. It is partisan to criticize the economy of a sitting president in an electoral year (especially in a Democratic response).
A weak and shady rebuttal- I don't like it. Be like Obama, just come out and say that you want plans. Just say it. America wants plans too.
That being said, wanna be the VP? You are electable and articulate- a true stateswoman.
Now, if only you could run with McCain and put your money where your mouth is.

Hugs,
q.

State of the Union: Why do I keep doing this to myself edition

It was a well made speech with some pleasing rhetoric, but it was a lame duck speech from a lame duck president whose goals and beliefs are not related in any fashion to mine.
No new ideas, no new plans, no new solutions... quack quack quack.

Just a few things that I thought about watching tonight's State of the Union Address:

There was a prevailing theme of trusting Americans, with their own money and health:
That is crazy. People can't be trusted with money Americans have an average of $8,000 in consumer debt. NBC Nightly News was advertising for the upcoming special: 'Addicted to Debt' immediately before AND after the address. Americans own credit cards with over 20% APR. I work with Americans, my clients are Americans, and I drive with Americans and I think it is pretty safe to say that these people are pretty much morons.
We elect leaders because hopefully we can pull it together enough to pick some really smart people to make rules for the rest of us.
Additionally the government does not trust us to make our own health decisions, though the president made a point of noting that medical decisions should be made by doctors not in congress, he then went on to talk about science vs. morality. The sanctity of embryos over the sanctity of living human beings and my own uterus.
He also wants more legislation to go towards tort reform as it involves medical suits. Americans can be trusted- but apparently not to determine their right to sue.

Warmonging continues with mixed signals:
The president directly called out Iran. (Among others including Burma, Belarus, and Cuba.)
Used the phrase: "deliver Justice to our enemies." SHUDDER.
Promised a large scale initial pullout of Iraq. (Here, YOU have fun with this mess.)

Education is awesome:
He said that kids have the highest test scores ever- is that simply because we had never tested our kids before? Perhaps because there was no standard?
Also increased accountability to parents with more flexibility for schools? Is that possible?

Not a lot of new thoughts on the environment- all rhetoric no plans:
The only plan involved subsidizing environmental improvements in China and India.
Why should I give China money to increase their environmental standards? We should stop sending them pollutants and buying the products from them that are ruining the environment. Additionally, I feel like giving any funds to nations as dangerous and aggressive as we are is a very foolish idea.

Things I liked:
New ideas for insurance assistance.
Congressman Boehner's hilarious fakey tan.
Obama's elegant hands. He walks like a statesman, talks like a statesman, and looks thoughtful like a statesman.
Cheney's Grinch-like lurking. That man lurks like nobody's business.

Things that ticked me off:
Pell Grants for Kids: instead of improving education in poor communities, allow a few poor kids with good parents (thus statistically likely to improve their lifestyle regardless of their school) to go to school with (let's face it) white kids.
Tax break renewals: what continue to let the wealthy ignore their obligations towards the security and economy of America?

Quack, quack, quack.

Hamstringing the Energy Bill

House approves big energy bill
"[Pelosi's] decision to insist on including the tax increases on oil companies — costing them $13.5 billion in taxes over 10 years — surprised even some environmentalists and set the stage for a contentious fight in the Senate where Republican leaders have indicated they will try to strip it from the bill."

So here is the question. Did strategists choose to add the 13.5 Billion Dollar issue in order to kill the bill in Senate OR did they put it in to give Republicans something to cut?

I'm not sure how I feel about this bill, but lessening our dependence on foreign energy sources sounds pretty appealing. I wonder if the bill's emphasis on bio-diesel and corn-derived ethanol is really a long term environmentally sound strategy or if those persuasive corn growing conglomerates are at it again. I hate it when the government pens in science with all of their money and incentives. I would much rather the government throw more money into public transportation and research into renewable energy resources to fuel our lives in general (and perhaps electric cars) than into troubled yet lucrative, existing areas of fuel creation.

Interesting Article

A Muslim belongs in the Cabinet : Muslims are uniquely qualified to help deter Islamist threats.

An interesting article brought to my attention due to my interest in how Mitt Romney handles his religious affiliation.

More on Gonzales

I know that you're probably tired of Alberto Gonzales talk. But I'm not so...

What Lies Beneath: Alberto Gonzales' legal troubles may just be beginning.

Gonzales is likely to face criminal charges- not for stealing our rights and aborting justice, but for lying about it.

Please don't consider me part of the axis of evil

I'm pondering the parting words of the President of Bolivia from the Daily Show.

I wonder what it is like to come in from a jog, or wake up only to find out that you are a member of the "Axis of Evil." Or to wake up and find out that Kim Jong Il made the list and you didn't.

If make the list (what?! there's still time) I will have to go out and buy a black leather trench coat, the uniform of badass-ary.

In an unrelated note:
Here is a webcomic about working at The Olive Garden.

Abe Resigned

The Prime Minister of Japan resigned. Click here to read about it in NY Times. This is a big surprise as Abe has previously vowed not to resign and actually just shuffled his cabinet.
There were a lot of problems during his term in office; a major issue of contention was regarding the use of Japan's Defense Forces to aid the US in 'anti-terrorist' efforts.

So now when people say that they don't vote or don't follow politics, you can remind them that US policy effects everything on the world stage.

Then remind them that it's only been that way since the 40's, so they'd better check themselves.


In other news out of Japan:
Crocs shoes linked to 40 escalator accidents
The most reviled shoes are now dangerous as well.
Count your toes carefully after you get off the escalator, wearers of ugly shoes.

Another note on Crocs: MEN! Stop wearing Crocs. You look like a total ass-clown. There is no way I would touch the penis of a man wearing plastic shoes that weren't purchased at Longs drugs for $3 for beach use.

More noooooooooze.

Sorry, Mr. President, You're All Out of Troops
The President's shortsighted military strategy and the options with which we are presented.
This actually reminds me of when I took my 12 year old cousin Sean to the movies and they showed a commercial for the reserves and afterwards Sean said, "Why didn't they show anyone in the desert?"
"Because they're hoping you wouldn't notice."
"Why?"
"Because they're running out of soldiers."
"Well that sucks."
"Indeed."


With Friends Like Mitt you might want to get a dog.
Actual alternate title from the RSS feed:
Mitt Romney shivs his pal Larry Craig.
Damn you Slate! Alternate titles are my thing! Get your own thing!
-Anyway- Mitt Romney turned on his former campaign chairman in 5 minutes!
Wow Mitt, you're a bad friend in addition to a bad person. I think that's an extra 5 points.

Both stories via Slate.

In other news, I'm pretty sure that this is from the secret squirrel terrorist training camp.

Additionally, a spider was trying to hide in my laundry this morning. (And where is my laundry bag? Next to my shower. This spiders-are-perverts theory is looking fact-ier every day.)

Will someone now add 'laundry bag' to the list of things that I'm scared of please? Thanks.

Sorry about those rights and stuff....

I didn't think that this was going to happen:
Alberto Gonzalez Resigns
"Even my worst days as attorney general have been better than my [migrant worker] father's best days," Gonzales said.
This is because poor people live lives no better than dogs. True story. And certainly value money over personal integrity and hard work.
I'm sure Gonzales' father would be proud. After all, he fled his homeland and worked his fingers to the bone so that Gonzales could dismantle the constitution and lie to the people of America.

Random assortment of what-not.

Monkey Girl shares my distaste for kitty-mouth.


H&M is opening a store at the University Village. Hooray for cheap trendy clothes that will fall apart after the 4th washing!


Most disappointingly misleading headline: T-rex versus Beckham? Sorry David, you're lunch
If you actually want to read about new dinosaur theory (to be followed by alternate theory this time next year)*click the link. What? You're not clicking?
*This actually reminds me of the iPod. You get a new one and by the next year it is obsolete.



Japan, still a total dick. Japan omits China, asks Asian Democracies to unite
I don't want to be cheeky, but seriously, can you have a Asian Union without them? They basically are Asia. Furthermore, what? You're not inviting Russia, but you are inviting India?
"By Japan and India coming together in this way, this 'broader Asia' will evolve into an immense network spanning the entirety of the Pacific Ocean, incorporating the United States of America and Australia."
Oh, and the US and Australia. As 7th grade Quiana would say, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO buuuuuuuuuuurn!"
While Abe has improved ties with China, which had frayed under his predecessor, he has also stressed the need to forge closer links with democracies in what analysts have said was a tacit criticism of Beijing.
You think?


Russian woman sets fire to ex-husband's penis.
A woman set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said on Wednesday.
Let this be a lesson to you men-folk, sometimes we just get tired of seeing your junk. This is like leaving the Christmas tree out all year, so don't get mad if we're not excited on Christmas morning.

And now for my final news item of the day, saving the best for last:
Murray refuses breath test in Sweeden
Actual text from the article: It isn't illegal to drive a golf cart in city traffic in Sweden, but Holmlund said it is very unusual.
I wonder if he tried to order some flapjacks. Or maybe some Swedish pancakes.
"Too early for flapjacks?"

A link dump?

Just what you always wanted!


World's Costliest Ham Triggers Pork Envy
Amusing and Irritating excerpts:
Likening it to a Mount Olympus of pork.

"This is the best ham in the world because it comes from the best pig in the world," [That's some pig!]

Maldonado has yet to set a price for customers who buy the 13-pound hams directly from him, but the food site Ibergour.com has a dozen for sale at $2,100 each, and is accepting $250 deposits.
Is it ridiculous to pay that for a piece of pig? [WTF. YES. And this is coming from me.]

"It is the most important ham in Spain," adds Pedro Soley.

Democrats just noticed missing testes.
Via Slate's Today's Papers.
The NYT lead says Congress accidentally gave President George Bush the power to conduct warrantless searches and seizures when it passed a wiretapping bill earlier this month. Democrats are embarrassed they voted without understanding language that would allow—among other things—some physical searches, and the collection of business records, without a court order.

Alternate titles:
Plot from Arrested Development Ominously True in Congress

Congress: 'Rights must be around here somewhere.'

To Congress: 'Have you tried looking under the couch?'



Slate's Article on The Poetry of Guantanamo
In "To My Father," by Abdullah Thani Faris Al Anazi, the poet writes:
O Father, this is a prison of injustice.
Its iniquity makes the mountains weep.
I have committed no crime and am guilty of no offense.
Curved claws have I,
But I have been sold like a fattened sheep.

Things you may have to pry out of my cold dead hands

No, not cannoli (because only Rialto at Green Lake serves a reasonable cannolo in Seattle).

Nope, it's a gun, seriously.

Really.

I went to bed thinking guns should not be around (and yes, I admit, I did grow up with guns) and woke up thinking that maybe keeping Americans armed would be a nice way to deal with our inept, but ever scarier government.

Is Pooky growing up? Or is this a mere adult culmination of the fear of the government that was seeded in my little piggy-tailed head by E.T., D.A.R.Y.L, Real Genius, War Games, Flight of the Navigator, The Secret of NIMH, Terminator, and the Alien series?

Hard to say, but as Democrats get harder for me to respect, Republicans (real ones- not money spending, government power-increasing Bushites) are getting more attractive. Is this some sort of disillusionment beer-goggle?

Probably.

But don't worry, I haven't gone this far yet. Rudy Giuliani can still kiss my shiny metal ass. He should be used to kissing women's asses by this point. (Zing!)

Random Crap of Interest to Me

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

League of Women Who Think You're an Idiot

The survey left, click to enlarge, is the most ridiculous survey I've seen in a long time.

I have written my own survey which is only moderately ridiculous:
1. Do you support puppies being run over by steamrollers?
2. Would you like more donuts and candy?
3. Do you find it nearly impossible to stop trees from growing using only the power of your mind?

Result= Dramatic commercials.
"98% of Americans want the heinous practice of Puppy-Steamrolling abolished! Hillary Clinton for President, she'd never steamroll a puppy.
Paid for by the League of Women Voters."

Well, League, and I think Gloria Steinem would have my back on this, you're stupid.

Alternate Title:
Says League of Women Voters, "You're dumb, give us money."

PS- League of Women Voters, I think you're jerks. Thanks for the AWESOME survey.

Parades are cool, but a reasonable wage is nicer.

Two links to stories on the Freakonomics blog regarding how to adequately compensate the people who keep us safe: soldiers and cops.

Restore the Draft? What a Bad Idea
New theory on how to get good prospective soldiers to enlist: pay them properly*.

In Case You Think Police Officers are Overpaid
This article also reminded me that paying officers a good wage would encourage competition and get the best applicants. Additionally, bribery would be less of an issue if cops made a good wage.

*In an unrelated and immature thought, I used to remember how to spell 'properly' by noting that 'pp' is improper.

sigh

How a Dirty Word Gets That Way via Slate.
In March 2002, Bush interrupted a meeting Condoleezza Rice was holding and yelled, ""Fuck Saddam. We're taking him out!"

President Bush used another version when he told British Prime Minister Tony Blair that the United Nations needed to "get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit."

That's our guy.