In which Quiana does not make friends...

and also probably does not influence people.

So the coroner's report is out on Heath Ledger and I just have to say that there is no way that a reasonable person would think that mixing OxyContin (painkiller), Valium (anti-anxiety/insomnia), Xanax (anti-depresent), Restoril (sedative/anti-isnomnia), Unisom (sleep aid), and ibuprofen would be a brilliant plan. That is the act of an addict or someone in extremely poor mental health.

I'm not a pharmacist, but my guess was that if one pharmacy or doctor was handling all these prescriptions, someone there would have flagged him with a warning. This is why should should always use the same physician's practice and the same pharmacy.

I don't believe that Ledger killed himself on purpose, but saying that this is some tragic accident is ludicrous. Being killed in a plane crash is a tragic accident; I believe the name for this is cause and effect. This isn't some rare incident. Homemade prescription drug cocktails will kill you.

And I am ticked off and I shouldn't write it, but I want to add that after oxycodone, the ibuprofin is a bit ridiculous.

Montel, Montel, Montel

I take every bad thing I ever said about you back, Montel Williams. You're pretty cool.

Check out the video on Bulletproof Bracelets.

I'm miffed about this Heath Ledger media stuff. My blog got some 50 hits right after I mentioned Ledger- entirely due to people googling 'heath ledger conspiracy.'

Now with 50% more irrational depression.

I am super bummed out that Heath Ledger died.

It isn't that I'm particularly interested in Heath Ledger- other than his Batman involvement; it's just that I am so tired of people ruining their lives with drugs and alcohol. Young people dying for no good reason.

It makes me angry and sad.

Maybe it has to do with my enchanting family background.

Heath Ledger,
You were a good actor and a handsome fella. I'm sorry your daughter will grow up without you. It makes me sad.
The End.

More story via Comic Book Resources.

Dude, Seriously?

Is Spade Going to Be a Daddy? from the scumbags at TMZ, whom I should not be supporting.

Random assortment of what-not.

Monkey Girl shares my distaste for kitty-mouth.


H&M is opening a store at the University Village. Hooray for cheap trendy clothes that will fall apart after the 4th washing!


Most disappointingly misleading headline: T-rex versus Beckham? Sorry David, you're lunch
If you actually want to read about new dinosaur theory (to be followed by alternate theory this time next year)*click the link. What? You're not clicking?
*This actually reminds me of the iPod. You get a new one and by the next year it is obsolete.



Japan, still a total dick. Japan omits China, asks Asian Democracies to unite
I don't want to be cheeky, but seriously, can you have a Asian Union without them? They basically are Asia. Furthermore, what? You're not inviting Russia, but you are inviting India?
"By Japan and India coming together in this way, this 'broader Asia' will evolve into an immense network spanning the entirety of the Pacific Ocean, incorporating the United States of America and Australia."
Oh, and the US and Australia. As 7th grade Quiana would say, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO buuuuuuuuuuurn!"
While Abe has improved ties with China, which had frayed under his predecessor, he has also stressed the need to forge closer links with democracies in what analysts have said was a tacit criticism of Beijing.
You think?


Russian woman sets fire to ex-husband's penis.
A woman set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said on Wednesday.
Let this be a lesson to you men-folk, sometimes we just get tired of seeing your junk. This is like leaving the Christmas tree out all year, so don't get mad if we're not excited on Christmas morning.

And now for my final news item of the day, saving the best for last:
Murray refuses breath test in Sweeden
Actual text from the article: It isn't illegal to drive a golf cart in city traffic in Sweden, but Holmlund said it is very unusual.
I wonder if he tried to order some flapjacks. Or maybe some Swedish pancakes.
"Too early for flapjacks?"

Déjà vu

Rebecca Romijn is the most utterly bewildering person in the universe.

Rebecca Romijn Weds Jerry O'Connell

In the nooze.

Katie Couric: Crazy, Bitch
Blogger says, "Hey Katie, SPUTUM!"

Clay Aiken: Crazy, Bitch
Blogger says, "Hey Aiken, you are a talentless ass-clown! Also you look like a chipmunk, but don't sing as well as other chipmunks I could mention."

Iraqi FM warns against U.S. withdrawal
Democrats say, "Shit, we need a platform and it's either this or global warming! Which is more important to American voters, brown people or polar bears?" HINT: Polar bears are white....

Afghan girls traded, sold to settle debt.
"He gave me nine sheep," Ahmad said, describing his family's woes since taking the loan. "Because of nine sheep, I gave away my daughter."
Honestly, I'm surprised that a girl is considered to be worth 9 sheep. See, and you said that there hasn't been any progress in Afghanistan!

"Unsafe" Canada prostitution law to be challenged
Canadian officials: "prostitution is dangerous- let's make it legal!" Brilliant!
Incidentally, I have never seen so many prostitutes anywhere as I have in broad daylight in Vancouver.... I'm just saying. See everyone, a semi-socialistic state is the way to go. Just ask Michael Moore.

One Degree from Warren G.

So I was channel surfing and all the sudden there was this dude that I new in high school next to Maureen McCormick. This was quite surreal.

I used to compete against Ross Mathews, Ross the Intern of The Tonight Show, in high school debate. He was closer friends with my cousin Jess and our friend Jenna, but I would see him at tournaments and occasionally socially. Apparently he is a real commentator now and has done extensive work; which I suppose explains why I saw him chatting with Dustin Diamond on Celebrity Fit Club.

Anyway, I thought that it was weird. So I Googled him today and apparently he is co-hosting The View on July 17 (my birthday). Weird.

I know this is a lame ‘I know a celeb story,’ but it was bizarre to find Ross lurking on VH1 in the middle of the night.

Rock On

Best Week Ever is reporting that the Rock is divorced.

Part of me is sad that a nice functional relationship is gone. The other half of me is calculating how much it would cost to get a boob job and a plane ticket.

Best Week Ever Salutes Men About Which I Would Say: "Hubba Hubba"

Addendum

Original List



Don't I have anything better to do than post lists of hot nerds?
Not really.

Terminators Everywhere!

So there will be a T4, and I was having some mixed feelings about this. According to rumor it will show John battling the robots after the intitial takeover (which we witnessed in T3).

Additionally, they are developing a TV series about Sarah Connor's fight to protect John in his childhood. MahaQuiana who knows all, predicts that this will blow. That being said, I will probably still watch it, because as you all know, I am a complete idiot.

Interestingly, IMDB is floating a rumor that Eddie Furlong may come back in the role of John in T4. Yup, I can totally see it....

Photo courtesy of d. prince.

Good Riddance

I'm terribly excited that Paris Hilton will go to jail. I know she will probably be in there for approximately 30 seconds, but I want the justice system to be equal and, in spite of her family's protests, I guarantee that a broke ass black dude would be eating some jail time too. Plus this may be a good stupidity-deterrent for other useless bitches.
If she wanted to come out of this looking like a kitten she would just admit that she did it and take the time with dignity. Of course she won't and I think I can look forward to enjoying a lengthy and amusing car wreck.
Hooray!

Pigs in the news!

70-Year-Old Ham Back on Display in N.C.
Entertaining Excerpt:
The Mecca Restaurant put the rock-hard country ham in its window Tuesday with a sign saying the 25-pound slab of meat would be displayed for only one day, "for security reasons." It was the ham's first appearance in a dozen years.

Is K-Fed behind mysterious bee disappearances?
In short, yes.
Fake Entertaining Excerpt:
The slime, which is expelled by K-Fed in order to locomote, is known to cause many other things, including pandas, manatees, and the careers pop stars to evaporate into thin air. His mating calls have been known to cause bleeding from the ears and the sudden urge to place one's head under the tires of moving vehicles.

Kids Tuned to 'Handy Manny' Get Porn
Entertaining Excerpt:
[Handy Manny,] the popular cartoon, which is about a bilingual handyman, Manny Garcia, and his talking tools.
Oh... I think I've seen that one. Hold on, is that description for the porn or the cartoon?
Entertaining Excerpt from Porn Handy Manny:
"Hola senoritas! Let me show you Jose, my jack hammer. No problema you can touch. Mui bien!"

All the cool kids procrastinate their blogging until late in the day.

True story.

I have had 32 oz. of water today. Question: is that too much? Cause I've been peeing like crazy.

Last night my grandma called me and was asking me deep questions, and then when I would answer she would say 'what?' in this dazed manner, and why would my beloved Gram Cracker ignore me? Because she was watching the Westminster Dog Show. Poodle vs. first grandchild. Poodle wins in spite of ridiculous hair cut and testicle licking.

In other thoughts, Anna Nicole Smith spent more time with male reproductive organs than Steve. My opinion on A.N. Smith's whoreishness: stick with what works. I enjoy modern American cultural icons. With giant tits.

Wow, and that was just about it for me. I guess I'm spent from repeatedly mentioning reproductive organs.

The Notebook's evil is unending, unless you are Nick Lachey

WWTDD.com is reporting that Jessica Simpson decided to divorce Nick Lachey after watching the movie, The Notebook. This film can ruin relationships and dare I say it, even lives. Unless you are Nick Lachey, in which case you just dodged a bullet. Nick, your family should send Nicholas Sparks a check in the amount of your self-respect (and a bottle of cyanide- but that's from me).

Playing with Fire

If I were P-Diddy or whatever he insists we call him I would check myself...

because Jessica Biel could kick his ass.

Photos courtesy of Tyler Durden.

Beware the Curse of the Timberlake

This is what happens to you when Justin Timberlake breaks up with you.

Exhibit A:
























Exhibit B:























I don't care how wealthy and sexy Justin Timberlake is, if he wanted to date me I would run away secure in the knowledge that I could never become a Timberlake Zombie Hoochie.

Yvonne De Carlo

Yvonne De Carlo passed away Monday of natural causes. You may remember her as Lily Munster, but I will always remember her as Mrs. Warren in John Wayne's McLintock! as well a number of other westerns.

She was a beautiful woman and a good actress. She will me missed.

News Alert: Donald Trump is a disgusting pig!

Yes, it is time for me to weigh in on the Rosie VS Pigman scandal.

Tara Conner, Miss USA, started the whole situation through underage drinking and general whorishness. Trump, no doubt a huge fan of whorishness decided to let Tara keep her crown- I'm sure the people of Kentucky are proud.

Now let me make something clear. You can go out and get drunk even if you are underage. You can have sex with 4 men at once, on camera. You can make out with drunk underage Miss Teen USA. You just can't do these things and be Miss USA. Though Donald Trump thinks you can....

Rosie stepped over the line on her show, The View, and commented on Trump's finances and business practices, calling him a snake oil salesman (like on Little House on the Prairie). Though in her defense, he is and being compared to a LHOTP villain is not the strongest of insults....

Trump then threatened to sue (at the same time as he is suing a town government that has fined him for building a super sized flag pole - without permits. He is calling it an assault on patriotism. Dude, just get the permit. Oh and might I add Donald Trump should be fined a ton of cash for wasting the Justice System's time. We have actual criminal cases to deal with. Hey, how about some Tort Reform, please!) and has been defaming her sexuality, appearance, etc. at every opportunity.

If you would like to view the footage of Trump vomiting hate it is up on YouTube or you can catch it on Bulletproof Bracelets.

I don't care if someone is rude to you. I don't care if they down right insult you on national television. But you never ever get to act the way Trump is acting. You don't get to spew hate speech, ever. I don't care who you are.

Donald, you're a pig and I hope you get your comeuppance. I wouldn't watch The Apprentice if featured Matthew McConaughey and John Stewart jell-o wrestling. Your inability to behave in an adult fashion and overwhelmingly terrifying frothing at the mouth makes me think you may be a wee bit unhinged. And also have The Rabies.

Strange Bedfellows

Georges Bush & Clooney Join to Rebuild Hospital
THURSDAY DECEMBER 21, 2006 09:05 AM EST
By Stephen M. Silverman

Billed as an "unlikely duo," two famous Georges – former President George Bush and George Clooney – made a joint appearance Thursday on ABC's Good Morning America to discuss their efforts to rebuild an emergency care hospital in Louisiana after it had been destroyed in Hurricane Rita.

"I thought we could add a little spice to this event, and, boy, was I right," the former chief executive, 82, told GMA's Diane Sawyer, as PEOPLE's Sexiest Man Alive sat at his side.

Praising Clooney – who in the past has been highly critical of current President George W. Bush – Bush said, "What he has done for the morale of this town is remarkable."

Not that the two didn't also kid around for the camera. "Don't ask about Barbara," Bush told the 45-year-old ladies man.

"How's Bill Clinton's golf game?" Clooney wondered. Bush then said it wasn't true that Clinton was nearly hit in the head with a golf ball while the two former presidents were playing recently. Bush also said he was "too old" to ask Clooney "about Britney Spears."

On Wednesday, Bush, who had been personally asked by Clooney to participate in the reconstruction effort, presented local Louisiana officials with a $2 million donation from the Bush-Clinton Katrina Fund that will pay for operating expenses once South Cameron Memorial Hospital is rebuilt next year, the Associated Press reports.

"I know there's been a lot of tears shed over the past year," said Bush. "Hurricane Rita, like Hurricane Katrina, showed us the very worst in nature but they've also brought out the best in our human nature."

Clooney, managing to refer to his former role as Dr. Doug Ross on ER, told the appreciative crowd: "There is good news in all of this, which is that when the hospital gets up and running, I will not be doing any of the medical procedures."

He also said, "I'm coming to remind people in the rest of the country that just because you're not on the front page anymore, that all the problems that have been placed here from Katrina and Rita are not solved yet."

George Clooney remains a mystery to me. One night he is getting Danny DeVito wasted and the next he's hanging on with former Presidents.

I also don't understand the whole George Clooney thing. With the sexy and the whatnot. I mean he's not hard to look at, but he's no John Stewart. Maybe you have to meet him.