Dear Ms. Eaton,

I'm pretty irked by the news that you felt the need to cut the apparently amazing BBC series Downton Abbey in order to make it easier American PBS audiences understand.

"We thought there might be too many references to the entail and they have been cut. It is not a concept people in the US are very familiar with." [said Rebecca Eaton, Executive Producer at PBS, who obviously thinks very little of me].

"American audiences are used to a different speed when it comes to television drama and you need to get into a story very quickly. We also wanted to get to the point where Matthew Crawley arrives on the scene much faster than in the British version. He is a pivotal character and his arrival brings with it drama and conflict. In the British version he doesn't arrive until episode two. In our version he is there in episode one." (From the Daily Telegraph, which I read, in spite of Ms. Eaton's misgivings about my metal abilities and attention span.)

It's true, class struggle oriented, period costume dramas with slow building and complex plot lines aren't too typical in the States, but, Ms. Eaton, you give us too little credit. If one replaces period costume with ripped button-downs and cutoffs and you may find LOST.

Furthermore, what person with a vagina in America has not read or watched Pride & Prejudice? I'm pretty sure anyone who has is at least passingly familiar with the concept of entailment.

And, not to be a dick, but for every random viewer you draw in with Prime Suspect or the fascinating modernized Sherlock and attempt to retain through Little Dorrit, there are 40 viewers there to watch Little Dorrit, but stick around for more titillating shows because they are smart and quite possibly boring people. These are your target audience. Smart and boring people who would rather eat their own faces than watch the eleventy millionth season of The Bachelorette. People who still read books. People who either know what entailment is or can pause the Tivo and Google it.

Why are you pandering and talking down to an America, which if it does require simple television, does so because it has been condescended to so long by people like yourself? Give us the opportunity to decide what is too challenging. Give your viewers the intellectual stimulation that motivates our interest in PBS to begin with, or start showing Millionaire Matchmaker. But don't propose to make me a lovely steak dinner and then chew it for me.

No thanks.

I'm probably not going to watch Downton Abbey on PBS, because of the gratuitous editing, for the following two reasons:

1. I find this characterization of American PBS viewers both unjust and insulting, and
2. I genuinely desire to view this art with its original design and cultural identity intact.

Accusing us of being incapable of enjoying intellectually challenging television is demeaning and misses the opportunity to both demonstrate that entertainment which requires thought is just as worthwhile as other forms created to stifle it, and simultaneously teach us a little bit about turn of the century English society, culture, and inheritance law. These kinds of experiences are what I had thought were the point of PBS to begin with.

But, it's hard to say, on account of how slow I am.

Hugs and kisses,
q.

Who is this guy?

Because that is not John McCain.

Like John Stewart, I've become increasingly disenchanted with John McCain, going from a full out crush to a festering dislike. John McCain has become a man I can't respect. His recent behavior has really made me thankful for my vote for Obama- a decision I did not make lightly and that was directly caused by John McCain's unexpected and sudden reluctance to be John McCain.

Listening to his deluded and desperate comments during the Don't Ask Don't Tell senate hearings has been the pinnacle of my disillusionment. As James Fallows asks in The Atlantic, where did the strong and principled John McCain go and why was he replaced with a man who, unlike so many others, is more conservative and ineffective in his old age. Isn't the knowledge that comes with old age the wisdom to better understand your fellow humans and differentiate between truth and prejudice?

Joe Lieberman has clearer understanding of just what this legislation means in America's development:

12/2/10- SEN. JOE LIEBERMAN (I), CONNECTICUT: We‘re on the front lines of a turning point in American history. And we have these in every generation. This country, from the beginning, was defined not by its borders, but by our values.

The Declaration of Independence says, you know, we‘re all endowed by God with those equal rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. And every generation has realized those rights better, because they weren‘t realized at the beginning. In 1776, for women, for people of color, et cetera, et cetera.

In our time, one of the great transitions occurring is the growing readiness and understanding among the American people that you simply—it‘s just wrong and un-American to discriminate against people based on their sexual orientation.

Beautiful.

The Daily show had a most interesting segment about this that I highly recommend you watch. John Stewart is a very diverting and sexy man.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Gaypocalypse Now
www.thedailyshow.com
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Hide your kids, hide your wife, and hide your husband, because rabid otters are attacking everyone out here.

Rabid. Otter. Attacks.

Thanks for nothing, Nature.

There have been three recent attacks on humans, including two passers-by, and one man filming the otter in his own yard.

Most disturbingly, this otter crime wave was kicked off when, and I'm not shitting you, an otter broke into someone's house and bit their dog, Chester, on the nose.

Otters, right? Total assholes.

Photo credit.

There is only one "n-word"; this word is not 'nuts'.

Dear American news media,

'Nuts' is not a bad word. You could also say 'balls' or 'testes', neither of which are bad words. If you can call a woman a bitch on TV, CNN can use the word 'nuts' if it is legitimately news worthy. I don't want to shock anyone, but I hear from various sources that the majority of men have testicles, so I think that it is probably fine to say.

Please quit calling it 'the n-word', it's juvenile and honestly quite silly.

Thanks!

q.

And while I'm on the topic...

This whole Jackson-Obama "feud" is ridiculous and the situation reminds me of the plot of an old episode of Scrubs, in which JD doesn't realize his mic is still on. (Coincidentally, this episode was about race.) Unprofessional.

Furthermore, I don't ask my pastor who to vote for (Obama), but if he started trying to tell me who to vote for, that would be the end of his religious guidance.

Jackson is a sham and in my opinion has not helped anyone, black or white, in America since the mid-sixties, unless you think so-called "interracial" political coalitions are super.

Additionally, Jackson has been a divisive force within every group he has belonged to, from the SCLC, to the Democratic Party, to America.

Oh and by the way, he's an anti-Semite.

Oh and he's a baptist minister who cheated on his wife (hypocrite) and was too stupid to use protection (so stupid) .

And lest we forget, he is a grown man who uses the word 'nuts' and an idiot who doesn't know how to keep his mouth shut in a TV studio.


If you are the only person in the universe who isn't sick of this topic, you can catch up at the NYT.

Links are the new content.

Bacon, The Obsession, is being examined over at Salon.

Economists' predictions of $4 a gallon tipping point for Americans to drastically change their behavior, have apparently borne out. (Via Freakonomics.) Today I was reading that gas is actually down $4 a barrel. Who wants to bet we see $5 before the end of the year anyway?

Anyone else deeply concerned about the likely military cover up of the probable murder (and possible rape) of Pfc. LaVena Johnson? A soldier who, according to the US military, committed suicide by shooting herself with a rifle, pouring acid on her own crotch and self-immolating. Perhaps this would have worked if Pfc. Johnson's father wasn't a doctor.... Find out more here.

News! Kinda.

io9 is reporting that France is trying to temporarily costume its famous landmark to look exactly like one of ours.
Never turn your back on the French. Shifty people, not to be trusted.

Look at this great picture of the Space Needle.... La la la, let's just scroll on down...












WTF.









And now for something completely different:
A&E is doing a mini-series of Michael Crichton's Andromeda Strain; which was super fantastic. In fact, I feel like the original movie was actually pretty good too.
Here, just watch the trailer.
I am really looking forward to this. The casting seems pretty good and A&E seems to make consistently high quality mini-series. Also, alien virus + Ricky Schroder + Daniel Dae Kim + Benjamin Bratt = Happy Quiana.

The Texas Dildo Massacre

Slate story about challenges to ridiculous Texas morality laws.

I feel very strongly that I should be the boss of my own hooha.

And as far as I am concerned, so long as you are not a danger to others you can cram a ham sandwich up there, for all I care (though we here at SUC do not recommend it.) Just don't forward me the pix.

I think a fun approach to this law would be to open a store that sells an assortment of non-specific items one could misappropriate. I'm thinking "Crazy Al's Banana, Washing Machine, Back Massager, and Melon Emporium."

Angry Quiana! Quiana SMASH!

At Halliburton/KBR, sexual assault is just part of the workplace experience for women

The link above is to a news story about two women who were sexually assaulted by coworkers in Iraq who are not being allowed to take their attackers to court because they signed a binding contract stating that they would submit to arbitration in 'these matters.'

If this were me I would assume that walking up to my former attackers and shooting them would be an ok form of arbitration.

Since none of us can exactly boycott KBR, I think the only thing that we can do is get this story to stay in the news and on the minds of Americans. So tell your friends about this. Tell your elected officials. They should be angry. I know I am.

In which Quiana does not make friends...

and also probably does not influence people.

So the coroner's report is out on Heath Ledger and I just have to say that there is no way that a reasonable person would think that mixing OxyContin (painkiller), Valium (anti-anxiety/insomnia), Xanax (anti-depresent), Restoril (sedative/anti-isnomnia), Unisom (sleep aid), and ibuprofen would be a brilliant plan. That is the act of an addict or someone in extremely poor mental health.

I'm not a pharmacist, but my guess was that if one pharmacy or doctor was handling all these prescriptions, someone there would have flagged him with a warning. This is why should should always use the same physician's practice and the same pharmacy.

I don't believe that Ledger killed himself on purpose, but saying that this is some tragic accident is ludicrous. Being killed in a plane crash is a tragic accident; I believe the name for this is cause and effect. This isn't some rare incident. Homemade prescription drug cocktails will kill you.

And I am ticked off and I shouldn't write it, but I want to add that after oxycodone, the ibuprofin is a bit ridiculous.

Dean Kamen, are you hitting on me?

I'm just going to assume that every time you do something awesome, such as inventing a prosthetic arm based upon Luke Skywalker's prosthetic arm, that you are totally flirting.
Dean Kamen, isn't it time for a midlife crisis girlfriend? Call me!

Thanks for the link, Drew.

Democratic Response: Condescending Edition

Dear Kathleen Sebelius,

Seriously, don't talk down to me. Don't imply that I'm wondering what the State of the Union means to me. Don't say that seeing who stands or who claps is not significant because I do want to know if my candidates are publicly supporting certain statements.
Do not come to me and talk about bipartisanism (though I understand your background would qualify you to do so) while asking the president to solve the budget crisis and make plans. Don't try to be sneaky with me. It is partisan to criticize the economy of a sitting president in an electoral year (especially in a Democratic response).
A weak and shady rebuttal- I don't like it. Be like Obama, just come out and say that you want plans. Just say it. America wants plans too.
That being said, wanna be the VP? You are electable and articulate- a true stateswoman.
Now, if only you could run with McCain and put your money where your mouth is.

Hugs,
q.

State of the Union: Why do I keep doing this to myself edition

It was a well made speech with some pleasing rhetoric, but it was a lame duck speech from a lame duck president whose goals and beliefs are not related in any fashion to mine.
No new ideas, no new plans, no new solutions... quack quack quack.

Just a few things that I thought about watching tonight's State of the Union Address:

There was a prevailing theme of trusting Americans, with their own money and health:
That is crazy. People can't be trusted with money Americans have an average of $8,000 in consumer debt. NBC Nightly News was advertising for the upcoming special: 'Addicted to Debt' immediately before AND after the address. Americans own credit cards with over 20% APR. I work with Americans, my clients are Americans, and I drive with Americans and I think it is pretty safe to say that these people are pretty much morons.
We elect leaders because hopefully we can pull it together enough to pick some really smart people to make rules for the rest of us.
Additionally the government does not trust us to make our own health decisions, though the president made a point of noting that medical decisions should be made by doctors not in congress, he then went on to talk about science vs. morality. The sanctity of embryos over the sanctity of living human beings and my own uterus.
He also wants more legislation to go towards tort reform as it involves medical suits. Americans can be trusted- but apparently not to determine their right to sue.

Warmonging continues with mixed signals:
The president directly called out Iran. (Among others including Burma, Belarus, and Cuba.)
Used the phrase: "deliver Justice to our enemies." SHUDDER.
Promised a large scale initial pullout of Iraq. (Here, YOU have fun with this mess.)

Education is awesome:
He said that kids have the highest test scores ever- is that simply because we had never tested our kids before? Perhaps because there was no standard?
Also increased accountability to parents with more flexibility for schools? Is that possible?

Not a lot of new thoughts on the environment- all rhetoric no plans:
The only plan involved subsidizing environmental improvements in China and India.
Why should I give China money to increase their environmental standards? We should stop sending them pollutants and buying the products from them that are ruining the environment. Additionally, I feel like giving any funds to nations as dangerous and aggressive as we are is a very foolish idea.

Things I liked:
New ideas for insurance assistance.
Congressman Boehner's hilarious fakey tan.
Obama's elegant hands. He walks like a statesman, talks like a statesman, and looks thoughtful like a statesman.
Cheney's Grinch-like lurking. That man lurks like nobody's business.

Things that ticked me off:
Pell Grants for Kids: instead of improving education in poor communities, allow a few poor kids with good parents (thus statistically likely to improve their lifestyle regardless of their school) to go to school with (let's face it) white kids.
Tax break renewals: what continue to let the wealthy ignore their obligations towards the security and economy of America?

Quack, quack, quack.

Montel, Montel, Montel

I take every bad thing I ever said about you back, Montel Williams. You're pretty cool.

Check out the video on Bulletproof Bracelets.

I'm miffed about this Heath Ledger media stuff. My blog got some 50 hits right after I mentioned Ledger- entirely due to people googling 'heath ledger conspiracy.'

Now with 50% more irrational depression.

I am super bummed out that Heath Ledger died.

It isn't that I'm particularly interested in Heath Ledger- other than his Batman involvement; it's just that I am so tired of people ruining their lives with drugs and alcohol. Young people dying for no good reason.

It makes me angry and sad.

Maybe it has to do with my enchanting family background.

Heath Ledger,
You were a good actor and a handsome fella. I'm sorry your daughter will grow up without you. It makes me sad.
The End.

More story via Comic Book Resources.

Don't forget to defrost your dog BEFORE putting it in the oven

Exploding dog causes crematorium blaze

This reminds me of when we caught the garage on fire deep frying a turkey. I mean, I read somewhere that that can happen.

Alternate title: Nature Attacks from Beyond the Grave!

More on the college birth control screw-up.

An article about congress attempting to correct their earlier "oversight" that made college health centers ineligible for discounted oral contraception.

And in other reproductive news, I suddenly realized that I myself am nearly out my own pill prescription, which means that I have to go to the doctor today. Let us hope this goes better than last year.

I'm shocked.

Someone finally stood up to the Boy Scouts! Way to go Philly!! The city that booed Santa says, "Go away, haters!" And you know it's bad when Philly thinks you're a dick.

The Boy Scouts of America group has been hijacked by the religious right and it is a shame. Not allowing non-Christians and homosexuals is flagrantly wrong, regardless of its legality. The fact that these groups are meeting rent-free in city buildings all over the US is wrong and tacitly proves that the government believes in religious and sexual discrimination. I don't care if you want to have the Junior KKK (being a scum-bag isn't illegal), just hold it in your own living room- I shouldn't have to pay for it.

I had an amazing experience with the Girl Scouts (which is unaffiliated with the Boy Scouts) and wish that ALL boys could enjoy such a wonderful childhood experience as scouting. Very little is more American than a keen appreciation of cookies and nature.

It makes me sad that there are probably tons of children and parents out there who just love scouting and what it used to stand for, but who have to meet under the discriminatory policies put in place by recent right-wing leadership. (As no written rules were specified about membership qualifications in those areas, what the man says in the article about scouts always being discriminatory is patently false [although I'm sure it was like all fraternal organizations at the time Jewless, blackless, and boobless] and even if that were true, that certainly does that excuse being an absolute ass-hat now.

And so in honor of Philly's awesome advance, I have thought long and hard [snicker] and come up with a tasteless Boy Scout joke:

I would have thought the Boy Scouts would be all about rubbing two sticks together.

Hamstringing the Energy Bill

House approves big energy bill
"[Pelosi's] decision to insist on including the tax increases on oil companies — costing them $13.5 billion in taxes over 10 years — surprised even some environmentalists and set the stage for a contentious fight in the Senate where Republican leaders have indicated they will try to strip it from the bill."

So here is the question. Did strategists choose to add the 13.5 Billion Dollar issue in order to kill the bill in Senate OR did they put it in to give Republicans something to cut?

I'm not sure how I feel about this bill, but lessening our dependence on foreign energy sources sounds pretty appealing. I wonder if the bill's emphasis on bio-diesel and corn-derived ethanol is really a long term environmentally sound strategy or if those persuasive corn growing conglomerates are at it again. I hate it when the government pens in science with all of their money and incentives. I would much rather the government throw more money into public transportation and research into renewable energy resources to fuel our lives in general (and perhaps electric cars) than into troubled yet lucrative, existing areas of fuel creation.

Interesting Article

A Muslim belongs in the Cabinet : Muslims are uniquely qualified to help deter Islamist threats.

An interesting article brought to my attention due to my interest in how Mitt Romney handles his religious affiliation.

Too angry to come up with a reasonable title.

Saudis defend punishment for rape victim

A Saudi judge has increased the punishment for a rape victim on the basis of two facts:
1. she was riding in a car with a man to whom she was not related
2. she alerted the media to her plight

I don't want to say this, because it is wrong and I know better; but even though I don't believe in 'an eye for an eye' style justice, I sincerely hope with every fiber of my being that the judge and every asshole who defends him is raped. I do. I absolutely hope that they are violated in the most obscene and horrible manner. I hope that they are shamed and relieved of their status. It is wrong and I don't care.
I hope that they are bought and sold like cattle, limited from being an adult, are never allowed to enjoy sex, and beaten like dogs when they stand up for themselves.

I know that this is not justice, but I do not care a bit.