Filler Onegaishimasu: Hairy Tub Man Edition

Uhm. I'm boring. Here watch this and I will come up something rambly and incoherent later.

Filler Onegaishimasu: Rawr Edition

Filler Onegaishimasu: Giant Nut Edition

Guess who is still sick and disgusting? Yup, me.

Hence no good posts. If you guys want I can tell you all about what is happening on TV and in National Geographic, but my guess is that you would rather just have a bit of filler. So, hey look! It's filler! Filler with HUGE nuts!

Filler Onegaishimasu: Fuwa Fuwa Edition

Akin to fluffy. Fuwa Fuwa is an onomatopoeia.

Filler Onegaishimasu: Chagrined Giant Black Man Edition

Filler Onegaishimasu: Emotional Pizza Edition

Filler Onegaishimasu!

Did I hear someone ask for filler?

I did. Here have a Japanese commercial

It is like magic for boring people.

I can't stop watching this and I don't know why. God, I am so boring.

Chikan!

More about Japanese inventions designed to avoid (important and needed) conflict:
Cell Phone Message Warns Train Gropers
The application flashes increasingly threatening messages in bold print on the phone's screen to show to the offender: "Excuse me, did you just grope me?""Groping is a crime," and finally, "Shall we head to the police?"

Pardon me, but is that your hand on my thigh? Squeeze twice for yes, once for no.

Train Gropers or Chikan are actually a HUGE problem in Japan. Of course my solution to this issue was to yell, "Everyone please look at the pervert!" or to figure out who it was and grab them with my long dagger-like finger nails and whisper menacingly, "Touch me again and you won't get that hand back."

Child abuse is hi-larious

No, seriously.

Click this link, I implore you. It makes me kind of want to have a child... so I can dress it up as a seal and take it to the polar bear exhibit at the zoo.


Although, now having watched it with the sound minutely on I notice that that is a grown woman. That spoils the whole damn thing.

Abe Resigned

The Prime Minister of Japan resigned. Click here to read about it in NY Times. This is a big surprise as Abe has previously vowed not to resign and actually just shuffled his cabinet.
There were a lot of problems during his term in office; a major issue of contention was regarding the use of Japan's Defense Forces to aid the US in 'anti-terrorist' efforts.

So now when people say that they don't vote or don't follow politics, you can remind them that US policy effects everything on the world stage.

Then remind them that it's only been that way since the 40's, so they'd better check themselves.


In other news out of Japan:
Crocs shoes linked to 40 escalator accidents
The most reviled shoes are now dangerous as well.
Count your toes carefully after you get off the escalator, wearers of ugly shoes.

Another note on Crocs: MEN! Stop wearing Crocs. You look like a total ass-clown. There is no way I would touch the penis of a man wearing plastic shoes that weren't purchased at Longs drugs for $3 for beach use.

Random assortment of what-not.

Monkey Girl shares my distaste for kitty-mouth.


H&M is opening a store at the University Village. Hooray for cheap trendy clothes that will fall apart after the 4th washing!


Most disappointingly misleading headline: T-rex versus Beckham? Sorry David, you're lunch
If you actually want to read about new dinosaur theory (to be followed by alternate theory this time next year)*click the link. What? You're not clicking?
*This actually reminds me of the iPod. You get a new one and by the next year it is obsolete.



Japan, still a total dick. Japan omits China, asks Asian Democracies to unite
I don't want to be cheeky, but seriously, can you have a Asian Union without them? They basically are Asia. Furthermore, what? You're not inviting Russia, but you are inviting India?
"By Japan and India coming together in this way, this 'broader Asia' will evolve into an immense network spanning the entirety of the Pacific Ocean, incorporating the United States of America and Australia."
Oh, and the US and Australia. As 7th grade Quiana would say, "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO buuuuuuuuuuurn!"
While Abe has improved ties with China, which had frayed under his predecessor, he has also stressed the need to forge closer links with democracies in what analysts have said was a tacit criticism of Beijing.
You think?


Russian woman sets fire to ex-husband's penis.
A woman set fire to her ex-husband's penis as he sat naked watching television and drinking vodka, Moscow police said on Wednesday.
Let this be a lesson to you men-folk, sometimes we just get tired of seeing your junk. This is like leaving the Christmas tree out all year, so don't get mad if we're not excited on Christmas morning.

And now for my final news item of the day, saving the best for last:
Murray refuses breath test in Sweeden
Actual text from the article: It isn't illegal to drive a golf cart in city traffic in Sweden, but Holmlund said it is very unusual.
I wonder if he tried to order some flapjacks. Or maybe some Swedish pancakes.
"Too early for flapjacks?"

Because I've been very busy...

and because you deserve it. Another Japanese snack commercial with strange dancing women.

Well, this certainly made me hungry.

Recently someone asked me to succinctly explain my understanding of Japan.

I can do you one better: This is Japan.



You asked for it.

Robots, sex, and violence in the news.

Japanese robot likes sushi, fears president
Gosh, we have so much in common. I wonder if he's single.

British women prefer chocolate to sex: poll
Alternate title: British women more honest than American women.
Excerpt:
Fifty-two percent of women would rather curl up with a bar of chocolate, according to the survey of 1,500 Britons by confectionery giant Cadbury, quoting one women as saying "chocolate provides guaranteed pleasure".
"Chocolate never disappoints," she said.
So there is the definitive proof. It's not the sex that women don't want, it's the men.
You just think on that fellas.

JonBenet's Dad & Natalee Holloway's Mom Together
Does this creep anyone else out?

B is for Beer, that's good enough for me.

Not the most disturbing thing on Japanese TV, and yet....

Thursday News

Lead singer of Blues Traveler, John Popper, totally crazy, also no longer fat.
His car was pulled over and the picture below is what the police seized from secret compartments (?!) of Popper's Mercedes SUV. Said Popper, "I didn't want to be left behind, [in case of natural disaster]."

Also said Popper, "I have big man boobs."

No seriously, I'm not making that up.

I'm Free.

John Inman, the actor who portrayed Mr Humphries in the BBC comedy, Are You Being Served passed away in a London hospital, after battling Hep A. John Inman was a very funny man, and I am sad at his passing.

Bitch Please.
Japan is starting an internal probe of the "comfort stations" run during WWII.

Last week Prime Minister Abe said there was no proof the women were coerced into sexual slavery. Abe claims Japan has apologised already for the program of institutionalized brothels, and will not apologise again. In spite of a wealth of evidence that Japanese agents kidnapped or coerced thousands of Korean and Chinese women into sexual slavery (including living survivors of the program and former soldiers) Japan has never properly apologised.

The previous apology was along the lines of "we are sorry about institutionalizing brothels." Rather than "we are sorry and will never again kidnap or coerece women into sexual slavery."

I do not believe in reparations for acts so far in the past, but I am damn tired of Japan trying to pretend that none of their war crimes occurred. I don't think that anyone believes that Japan can make up for what the past regime did, but saying it never happened is absolutely shameful.

I wanted to end this on some point about the sex trade, treatment of women, or treatment of Koreans in Japan, but I can't express what I want to say. I think I'm too disgusted.

You can't undo things by failing to admit them. You can't learn from your mistakes be declaring that they never happened. Looking at the acts of my own government, it isn't a stretch to believe that Japan could repeat their war atrocities.

It's pretty sad that I have to post more news about Comfort Women on International Women's Day.

No one's gloomy or complaining while the flatware's entertaining.

Today I typed the following into Google: "do rats need to live in pairs?"
I received some articles and the following suggestion:
"Did you mean: do rats need to live in Paris?"
Why, yes, yes I did. Sadly Google had very little to tell me in response to the titillating question.

In college I worked in the kitchens for a while and they used a brand of cling-wrap called Purity Wrap. This was hilarious at a women's college. Well, hilarious to me, as a boyfriended person.

After my frustrated blog-outburst this morning, I have since gotten a few more promising job calls and feel moderately better. Waffles and bacon. That's how I feel now.

Is there any word you can Google and not get anime images? Try waffle, raccoon, and oh say, bacon. I dare you.

Today a Japanese friend of mine who now lives in New York made some comment about American consumerist society, at which point I choked on my drink. From a denizen of the land of Prada bathroom slippers. The land where 'to go to Starbucks' has its own verb (Sutaabaru). Yea, she can blow me.

By request: Worst Date Ever

I have been on numerous horrible dates, a trend which I am sure is not abating anytime soon. But three really exceed the others in general horribleness.

When I was living in Japan this Japanese guy that I knew from a friend of a friend asked me out. He happened to be a drug dealer, which I knew, but I had seen Go and Timothy Olyphant was hot and this guy was hot so I thought I could be like Katie Holmes. Not the case. He picked me up on a motorcycle (I was not appropriately dressed), we had dinner (cheap tacky Hawaiian food), then he insisted that we go back to his place and have sex. I said no. He then ditched me in the middle of some neighborhood in Tokyo and I was reduced to having to hail a taxi to the train station where I rode the train back to my stop and ran into a British kid who I had a crush on, which was embarrassing since I was uhm, teary.

Another terrible date was also in Japan. His name was Omar. He was a black frat boy from Louisiana. We went to dinner and it was exactly like having dinner with my dad. "Let me tell you about...." "Do you know what your problem is...." Anyway after dinner we walked though cute little shops and then he insisted on walking me home. At my home it promptly started to pour and he just invited himself to crash at my house. Galvin, my roommate, offered to kick him out, but I figured Omar could rip Galvin to tiny tiny Chinese pieces so I declined. I made Omar sleep on my floor. In the morning I woke up and he was taking my picture! He posted that picture on his frat house website as some chick he had bagged. I hope his frat brothers find girls in polar bear and penguin footie pj's sexy.

And my worst date, domestically, was with some kid in my History class at Haverford. It was the last two weeks or so of class and this unprepossessing but smart and seemingly nice (like George in Grey's Anatomy) kid from class slipped me a note. I read it and it was all, 'Quiana you are so pretty and smart and awesome and I hear that you broke up with your boyfriend and I wish I could take you out, even though I'm sure you're not interested.' So I call him and ask him if he wants to hang out. He excitedly arranged to pick me up and take me to dinner and a movie. We had a nice Italian dinner; he wasn't really my type, but things were pleasant.

We missed getting into the movies, so we decided to go to King of Prussia Mall (the largest mall on the East coast). And who do I see going down the escalator as we were riding up? Some schmuck guy I had been out with a few times, pretty recently. And what is he smooching? Apparently his fiance. So, now I am very flustered. But not as flustered as when the kid from class casually mentions, as he is dropping me off, that oh BTW he also actually has a girlfriend. Then he tried to kiss me. Unbelievable. But wait!! There's more.

So Scmuck's fiance is graduating from Villanova on the same day that I graduated from Bryn Mawr and chooses the same damn restaurant in which to have her family graduation celebration dinner. I got to sit across from Schmuck and poor future Mrs. Schmuck and make small talk with my Granny. Very very unimpressive.

By request: Best of Japan

I think the best thing about Japan was probably little old Japanese ladies. For example, one day I was wandering around Tokyo and walked into a fancy hotel. I walked past a room where a woman was teaching ikebana. I asked if I could come in and look. She gestured for me to come in and introduced me to the other ladies and then taught me ikebana. Just for the heck of it. I guess just because I am an American.

Another woman who was a friend's host mother had only sons and had always wanted a daughter. So when he brought me over to meet her she went bananas and we traded recipes and sat around having tea and very very simple conversation. Before I left Japan she gave me the apron that she made for herself just before she got married and wished that I could be a beautiful young wife. (Good luck, lady)

Of course there were the clubs, gadgets, and the food was phenomenal. And I have to say I would be remiss in not mentioning to two other awesome things: other foreigners and J-Pop stars. I was at an International college and even when you're out in the city foreigners tended to band together, so I was able to meet people from all over the world. It is amazing to me that I have friends in Australia, Taiwan, Ireland, England, France, Finland, Sweden, Germany, Brazil, etc. etc. all from one year in Japan.

And finally there was this one time at this reggae bar (seriously a Japanese reggae bar) that we used to frequent when a famous and tiny member of a Japanese boy-band spent the majority of the evening trying to steal me away from my 6 foot tall, hockey playing, Michigander boyfriend. The J-Popper would have been ideal, if I was lesbian.

I tend to forget the bad things that happen to me. I have the WORST memory of anyone you will ever know. I think that is how I keep myself happy, I simply can't remember as many bad things as I can good. At that time there were some very serious personal circumstances in my life that collided with the loneliness, racism and sexism in Japan to make my life very very hard. Add in the liquor and the fact that 20 year olds are total idiots, and there you go.

Let's add on a bad note or two for balance's sake. The sexism in Japan was appalling. My friend was stalked by a Japanese man, who in fact attacked her on her porch. When she went to the police they told her it was her fault for looking exotic and that she should cover or dye her red hair. It took a few of our giant buddies jumping the guy and kicking his ass to get him to stop. That's not how things should be, least of all in a nation with one of the world's most liberal constitutions.

Racism against everyone not Japanese is delicately balanced with a pop-star like fanaticism. For example people would touch me, take pictures of me, buy me drinks, and scrutinize me as though I was an object. People like my ikebana teacher were thrilled to meet Americans, while some restaurants had signs up that said "no foreigners" or "Japanese only." Koreans whose ancestors were brought to Japan as slaves and have lived here for generations are not citizens and are not allowed to vote. It is just one more case of injustice in Japan that was too much for me.