Kabul Beauty School and Other "Memoirs"

So a while ago I read Kabul Beauty School by Deborah Rodriguez and I really enjoyed it at the time; yet the more I pondered it, the more I became unenamoured with the author. And the more I disliked the author, the more I became suspicious of the veracity of her claims.

Recently NPR had a story about the author and the book, and news has been breaking that this woman is either detached from reality (possible) or a big fat liar. In light of all of the recent 'memoirs' being busted as flat out fiction I'm even more suspicious.

I had been nervous to attend Leigh's book club for the first time last night and give a mixed review of the book, but was utterly relieved when the others agreed. This led to a discussion about whether part of the allure of a memoir is that it is true, or whether all these fake memoirs could have been just as popular if they were released as fictional memoirs instead of non-fiction. We were pretty split on the issue.

My only opinion on the matter is that any memoir that deviates from the truth should be marketed as a separate genre LBOATS (loosely based on a true story). Then everyone is happy. I read an article once saying the Dave Eggers ruined the memoir genre with his loose interpretations of his past. I read his first book, and having read the foreword and publishers notes etc. I was aware that liberties were taken. And I still loved it.

I read a lot of non-fiction and to me the real problem in first person non-fiction writing is that authors tend to include a lot of extraneous detail; as though leaving out details of someone's life will cause hurt feelings. Which they probably would. However, when I'm reading a book I don't want to know the entire back story of every guy on the ship (Thank you very much, Frank Pope). Perhaps this is the best way to tell a fake memoir from a real memoir, just ask yourself, 'am I just a little bit bored?'

The Mysterious Benedict Society

I just finished The Mysterious Benedict Society yesterday and was greatly impressed.

The style of writing was definitely that of a children's book, but is much more compelling and well crafted than most. The story is about a team of four unusually talented children who are brought together by a genius to prevent an unknown catastrophe.

Trenton Lee Stewart crafted a very intriguing and satisfying book. It is a fairly quick read and I highly recommend you pick it up. It is one of the better things I've read lately.

New heights of nerd-dom now possible.

I really like the book Animal Farm. You may have noticed the plethora of references to it... or not.

Anyway, Threadless has a new design for Orwell nerds:




















Says the designer: "All t-shirts are equal, but some are more equal than others."

Watchmen Update 12.3.7

I am actually now interested in the story. I now admit that it is complex and interesting in its storyline.

Are you happy now?

Loaf'n

I am greatly looking forward to a night of awesome loafing. I think I will make something very simple for dinner, put away my fall decor, and then plop down with my delicious bowl of ambrosia and work on Watchmen.

I know this will shock my fellow nerds, so brace yourselves: this will be my third attempt at reading Watchmen. This time I plan to actually read the whole thing, thus prying you bossy monkeys off of my back.

I know it is sacrilege, but it has never caught me; I think it is a little bit (brace very hard now) boring. And in fact the only reason I am attempting this third and final go is so that this will not happen:

You: "Oh my gosh, have you read Watchmen, it is AWESOME?!"
Me: "Oh I've tried to read it a few times..."
You: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN TRY? THERE IS NO TRY! THIS IS THE SINGLE GREATEST USE OF PAPER IN THE HISTORY OF HUMAN PAPER USE! YOU SUCK AND CANNOT PLAY OUR REIGNDEER GAMES ANY MORE!!!"
Me: "muuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"

The Lovely Bones, the Movie?

WWTDD.com has a post up about Ryan Gosling being let go from a movie for either getting too fat or artistic differences... hmmmm I wonder which....

Anyway, I couldn't care less if Ryan Gosling is chubby, but I was most shocked that the movie was the film adaptation of The Lovely Bones. This was hands down the most well reviewed book that I have ever hated which wasn't written by Maria Dhavana Headley.

The Lovely Bones was an emotionally manipulative little book about a girl who is raped and murdered and watches her family cope while learning to deal with her attack and subsequent death from a sub-area of heaven specifically for this purpose. I believe I hated it because it was boring, trite, ultimately pointless, and did not fulfill the potential of the story. Too slow to be a thriller, not mysterious enough to be a mystery, not clever enough to be a crime novel, but just right it you liked to watch Touched by an Angel, Cold Case Files, or Pretty Woman.

Oh Japan. Oh J.K. Rowling. Oh dear.

Here is an article about people using soda-machine camouflage to hide from imaginary would-be attackers. More pics here.

Somewhere in my brain are some well thought out paragraphs about what it means for a culture to be so terrified of conflict that ninja-like camouflage could possibly be needed in a country with virtually no street crime.

In other news of the unnecessary, J.K. Rowling attempts to give her hastily written and poorly conceived book series greater depth. This blogger says too little too late.

Dumbledore gay? Dumble who?

Look Rowling, you could have bravely put better character development into the latter half of the Harry Potter series, but you didn't. I'm still unhappy with you and the elaborate paper weights on my book shelf. Do not insinuate yourself so deeply in popular culture and write early books so compelling that I am forced to read War & Peace sized abominations for years. I think I hate you. Just a little.

What is Quiana doing instead of blogging?

Reading:









Coyote by Allen Steele
Science fiction about political dissidents who steal a starship to colonize their own free world. Good, but not what I expected. I'm excited to snag the sequel.










Stealing Lincoln's Body by Thomas Craughwell
Non-fiction account of the 1876 attempt to steal and ransom Abraham Lincoln's corpse. (Hey you give me a non-fiction about a corpse and I will be all over that. Not the actual corpse, just the book.) Very interesting.

Watching:










Mad Men
AMC's first original series. It is awesome and you should watch it.

Listening to:









The Black Lips,
Los Valientes del Mundo Nuevo
'Surf punk?' you say. Well, indeed so.

Writing:
A story about a panda in existential crisis. I just finished the first draft and I am not terribly thrilled with it. Maybe I've looked at it too many times?

Getting all Bryn Mawr

I read this article on the Freakonomics blog and a whole slew of people shot straight to the top of my 'find their car and take a dump on it' list.

To paraphrase the article:
Under particular discussion is a pickup technique that Mystery advocates known as “negging” — a move that involves interjecting an insult during an initial conversation with a woman. The motivation behind the insult is, as Esquire’s A.J. Jacobs puts it, to “lower her self-esteem, thus making her more vulnerable to your advances.”

I have run into guys like this and when they insult you and you respond appropriately (drink in lap/testicle removal) they always call you a 'stuck up bitch.' I have since learned that for men like this, any girl who has the ability to resist the will of any man is 'a bitch.' And that any girl smarter than him is 'stuck up.'

Now here is the issue that I have with this theory: if you are just looking for someone to have sex with, you can easily pick up chicks with self-esteem issues without having to be an overt asshole; you can be a covert asshole. There are a whole lot of women so dumb or desperate that you don't even have to trick them to have sex with you mere hours after meeting.

Quiana's Guide for Men Who Want to Get Laid Tonight!
1. Look for the tramp stamp. Lower back tattoo = easy pickings.
2. Pick a less pretty girl out of a group of girls- especially bachelorette parties.
3. Pick up a really young or much older woman in the bar. 21 year olds may not be wise enough to know about guys like you, older women will be flattered by your attention and probably won't care about being used.
4. Find a girl that's alone. If she's at a bar alone, she's looking for exactly what you have available. Or she is a prostitute. Either way it's a win!! (Unless she's a tranny, caveat emptor, my friend.)
5. Craigslist casual encounters.

Vacation Round Up

I had a great time in Cali with the family. Spent most of my time thrifting, eating fatty foods, frolicking with horses and dogs, and museum visiting.

Some vacation inspired thoughts:

Harry Potter made me compromise myself.
The airport was selling HP for 30$ at 20% off. Said I, “har har.” I bought it for 18$... at Walmart. My shame is great, but my aunt (who is actually not my aunt but my cousin once removed- I think) had to pick up something there. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Re: HP7, I am simply glad that I cannot be held hostage by this series any longer. I am satisfied with the ending, although the epilogue was crap. (And that is all I want to say about HP7- although I am consumed by the thought that HP is braver than Jesus; though I suppose being made up probably helps.)

Spent some time with the horses and began to wonder, how is it that when I try to give my cousin’s sheltie a milk bone it nearly eats my entire hand, but a horse can eat baby carrots out of my palm?

After wandering the Cartoon Art Museum I began to think that Calvin and Hobbes did everything that Peanuts did, but smarter. And with tigers.

SFMOMA was pretty cool, but I didn’t leave with any piece floating in my head; although I did like their Jackson Pollock better than SAM’s. Which brings to mind an only marginally related story.
Most interesting interaction with stranger at SAM: I was staring at the drip art Jackson Pollock and stepped closer and closer until I was an inch from the case, scrutinizing it carefully when a guy (my age or a bit younger) came over and joined me. He too stepped close and said, “What are you looking at?”
“Is that kitty litter?”
After a pause, “Yes, I think it is.” Then we both wandered off.

The picture below is my thrifting haul (well almost all of it):
(Please note that there is a wooden vulture wearing spectacles next to the pile of vintage fabric.)

Plug your ears and hum.

I am continually frustrated by people's desire to bury awkward mementos of the past like a cat hides its shit.

There is apparently a huge controversy in London about Borders shelving a Tintin book, published in 1931 that has very obvious racist commentary.
The article quotes a lawyer stating that: "The material suggests to (children) that Africans are subhuman, that they are imbeciles, that they're half savage."
Fair enough, I think that the book isn't necessarily appropriate for children; but it should serve to demonstrate ways in which the powerful stay powerful through propaganda. That people will say, do, and believe the wrong thing if it is more beneficial for themselves to do so.

We can't re-write history. Breaking Mammy cookie jars doesn't make it all unhappen, it just wrecks cookie jars. Pretending that there wasn't a problem does not erase past mistakes- but it does make it impossible to learn from them. Let people collect Nazi silverware, maybe it will remind how close we came to speaking German.

Acknowledging our past errors and understanding them is how we prevent them in the future. Does this mean that I want to chow down in a Sambo's? No, but we can't go around burning old copies of books, TV shows, or movies because they make us uncomfortable. They SHOULD make us uncomfortable.

I know I shouldn't get all Godwin (again) and bring up this issue (although I don't believe that this should count) but if you look at the way that Germany acknowledges its war crimes and how seriously people there take racism and then look at Japan's constant denials of wrong doing and look at how ethnic Koreans and the country of Korea are treated, both at the official governmental level and at the average Joe level, you will see a huge difference.

Furthermore I would like to point out something a little more disturbing; according to the article, "In [the book], Belgian cartoonist Georges Remi depicts the white hero's adventures in the Congo against the backdrop of an idiotic, chimpanzee-like native population that eventually comes to worship Tintin — and his dog — as gods."
That reminds of something... what could it be? Oh yea, Pirates of the Caribbean 2. Burn the movie! Keel-haul Orlando Bloom!!!!! Rip out Johnny Depp's deadlocks! Oh my gosh, he's a white guy in dreads and he acts kind of gay- and he's a womanizer! O my precious poopkins will watch this and get all confused! Let's sue!

Or what about Will & Grace, surely that is a forward thinking show. Wait, you mean all single straight women need a "gay friend"- that's stereotyping! Let's storm the studio and burn the film.

If everyone wants to look for racism, sexism, and any other 'ism' one doesn't have to go back as far 1931. It isn't Civil War memorabilia that we should be worried about, it's what is on TV right now, what we teach our kids and confirm to ourselves. That liberated feminist women crave meaningless sex 24 hours a day and should chase it in the same way that men are perceived to, but still be incomplete without a man (Sex & The City). That torture is sometimes good (24). Being pretty and stupid is cute and funny in real life (Simple Life).

Paris Hilton being a role-model is what keeps me up at night, not nearly 80 year old books.

Sometimes Craigslist isn't enough

I put the following add up on Craigslist last week and thus far nothing. Somebody end my suffering!

Did you finish Donna Tarrt's "The Little Friend"?

---

Reply to: sale-365855349@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-07-03, 11:37AM PDT



Congratulations, you are far more patient than I.

Want to tell me how it ends? I'm about half-way through and I can't handle any more of this book- it is as though it is growing longer as I read. I feel very dirty about asking this, but one more page of this book and I will actually die.

Earn some good karma and send me an email with a brief synopsis of the end of the book if you can spare a moment.

I have read up to where Harriet has just arrived at camp following the snake/overpass incident.

Stephen King now giving everyone nightmares.

CBS is reporting that there is a widespread rumor across Afghanistan and Pakistan that calls on cell phones from certain numbers will cause scary orifice bleeding/death.

In other Cell related news, I finished the novel yesterday and found out there is a film adaptation in pre-production right now.

Hooray zombie stuff!!!
Booooooo orifice bleeding!!!

Kurt Vonnegut

Kurt Vonnegut passed away yesterday. I feel the need to say something, but I can't make my words work together.

His work greatly influenced me in my youth.
It is strange to me how you can do amazing things and then die from falling down. We learn to walk so that years from that day we can fall over and crack our skulls or fracture a hip. I just don't understand.

Sorry, that's all I've got.

I am a total idiot.

Between the stupid new daylight savings time change, the sinus infection (which I STILL have) and the upstairs neighbor with OCD who, when he goes outside for a 3 am ciggy must open-shut-open-shut-open-shut-open the door, then open the screen door, then shut-open-shut-open-shut-open-shut the door, then close the screen door, then smoke his cigarette, then open the screen door, then open-shut-open-shut-open-shut-open the door, then close the screen door, and then shut-open-shut-open-shut-open-slam shut and double lock, and the fact that I am reading The Stand, I cannot sleep. Since I cannot sleep in the PM, I cannot wake up in the AM. And because I am getting 3 hours of sleep I am a romping raging bitch from hell.

These things, the neighbor, the sinus infection, daylight savings time: totally not my fault. Reading about a super-plague wiping out the world and Satan and God battling for the disgusting souls of man, replete with war, famine, rape, murder, and Satan possessed weasels right before bed- absolutely stupid and completely my fault.

This is the stuff that keeps me up at night. The thin veneer of "humanity" that keeps us from raping and plundering our neighbors completely evaporating. End of the world. Zombies. Nuclear fall out. You name it- it is freaking hugely scary to me.

Ghosts, serial killers, vampires, true crime- not going to keep me awake at night.

I was so keyed up a few nights ago I had to watch CSI to calm down. Decomposing corpses don't usually lull me to sleep, but when faced with killer weasels, I'll take the maggots, thanks.

After reading or watching these "fall of human society" sorts of scenarios, I always remind myself that in case of killer disease I will probably be the first to die. In a zombie scenario, I will be the one moaning 'brains,' not the guy with a shotgun. Sure my earthquake kit, and various survival items would be great to have in the event of an actual disaster, but I will probably die trapped under the rubble, squished right next to my bottled water and thermal blanket.

This cheerful thought, earplugs, and some Nyquil usually can get me to sleep.

Nature: Still Lurking- will bite leg/burn house down.

The AP is reporting that a giant raccoon attacked a woman on her own porch. Said the victim: "It was a huge raccoon who meant business." Not like those small rabid animals that just want to be loved. Quite frankly, when it comes to giant raccoons, I would almost rather them grabbing my leg for business, rather than pleasure.

In other AP's 'when animals attack news' recently in Serbia three pigs burst free of their bondage, stormed the farmer's house and knocked his TV over, causing a fire which burnt down the farmers house. Dare I say it? Indeed I do dare: Four legs good, two legs bad!!!!

Viva La Revolucion! The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.

Taking a swim in the good old Money Bin...

The Forbes Fictional 15 is up for the year. Check it out.

More Judith Regan Malarky

Two more articles on Judith Regan.
The first is a Seattle PI article where Judith is alledged to believe in an zesty Zionist Conspiracy. Surely getting fired had nothing to do with the bad press and crazed attitude- blame the Jews. They're out there and they're are not eating bacon. GASP.
The second is from the NY Times and is simply an interesting and funny reading on the situation.

Publisher allegedly cited 'Jewish cabal'
By HILLEL ITALIE
AP NATIONAL WRITER

Regan, was fired Friday, Dec. 15, 2006, her sensational, scandalous tenure at Rupert Murdoch's News Corp. ending with the tersest of announcements.

NEW YORK -- In an explosive telephone argument that led to her firing, publisher Judith Regan allegedly complained of a "Jewish cabal" against her in the book industry and stated that "Of all people, Jews should know about ganging up, finding common enemies and telling the big lie."

A spokesman for Regan's former employer, Rupert Murdoch's News Corp., told The Associated Press on Monday that the remarks were based on notes taken by HarperCollins attorney Mark Jackson, with whom Regan was discussing the future of a controversial new novel about baseball star Mickey Mantle.

The spokesman, Andrew Butcher, released the comments in response to a threatened libel suit from Regan's legal representative, Hollywood attorney Bert Fields, who had called earlier reports of anti-Semitic remarks "completely untrue" and added that the publisher "didn't have an anti-Semitic bone in her body."

If you told me that Judith Regan said something nasty about Jewish babies, I could only assume that she was implying that black babies are less stringy and have a less-like-chicken, more-like-pork flavor. I wouldn't put anything past this woman.

Since 1994, Regan had headed the ReganBooks imprint at News Corp.'s HarperCollins. She was fired Friday.

The allegations first emerged earlier Monday when The New York Times, citing two unnamed News Corps officials, referred to unspecified anti-Semitic comments.

Regan, one of of the book world's most successful publishers, already had tense relations with HarperCollins and News Corp. Last month, Murdoch cancelled "If I Did It," her planned O.J. Simpson book and Fox television interview.

Simpson's book, said to have described how he theoretically would have committed the murders of ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ronald Goldman, had been scheduled for release Nov. 30 following the airing of a two-part Simpson interview.

Simpson was acquitted of murder in 1995 but later found liable for the killings in a wrongful-death suit filed by the Goldman family.

This Time, Judith Regan Did It
By DAVID CARR
Published: December 18, 2006

When the News Corporation killed Judith Regan’s multimedia rollout of O. J. Simpson’s “hypothetical confession,” Rupert Murdoch called the project “ill-conceived.”

The phrase he should have used was “ill-received.”

The “If I Did It” book and television package was shelved not because it was in bad taste or because it was bad for the culture at large, but because it was bad for business. The News Corporation, after all, was riding with Ms. Regan every step of the way as she bolted together the multiplatform deal for “If I Did It.” It was only after an outcry that included two dozen Fox affiliates that the HarperCollins project was junked.

And now Ms. Regan’s career at the News Corporation is in the same trash bin. Why now?

No one woke up Friday morning and discovered that Ms. Regan had bad, if lucrative, taste. But when her O. J. Simpson deal went south, she refused to go away quietly even though Mr. Murdoch had already taken a bullet, then continued to complain that she was being undermined long after the story had quieted down.

The News Corporation had profited handsomely from Ms. Regan’s tendency to shoot from the hip, but when she started firing inside the corral, well then, that was another matter.

If she did it, here’s how: Ms. Regan first responded to public opprobrium over the Simpson project with an unhinged eight-page defense of her interview. And then, after the plug was pulled on Nov. 21, she failed to accept the decision. (When Mr. Murdoch says something is dead, put away the paddles and pull up the hearse.)

Instead she railed against HarperCollins, the News Corporation book division that owns her ReganBooks imprint, while taping her Sirius Satellite Radio show, according to Ron Hogan, an editor at GalleyCat, which is a book-oriented blog. And finally, she made offensive remarks in a phone call to one of the company’s lawyers on Friday, according to a report in The Los Angeles Times.

“I think someone looked a little bit down the road and saw train wrecks everywhere,” said a HarperCollins executive who declined attribution because the case might end up in litigation.

That someone was Jane Friedman, the head of HarperCollins, who gave Ms. Regan the gate last Friday night in a two-sentence statement. It was made in a hurry — there were no expressed accommodations for the authors and 40 employees of the ReganBooks imprint — which suggests that the decision was made in a hurry, as well. (The company said on Saturday that the division will continue operations under Cal Morgan, the editorial director of ReganBooks.)

None of this was part of the plan when Ms. Regan moved her hugely successful publishing operation to Los Angeles this year. In announcing the move, she suggested she was switching to the left coast to form a literary salon of sorts, seeking out interesting folks from the entertainment and publishing worlds to form a kind of “cultural center.”

In therapeutic circles, her move to Los Angeles is called a geographic cure. A person up against the consequences of bad decisions and bad judgment — her affair with Bernard B. Kerik, the disgraced former police commissioner and ReganBooks author, was made all the more interesting to the media when it emerged that she was one of two women on the side — decides to switch ZIP codes for a fresh start.

Instead, she found O.J.

Ms. Regan’s strategic shift to California put her more closely in touch with an entertainment culture that was of a piece with her approach to publishing. Her big television project, after all, was “Growing Up Gotti.” Those who found “If I Did It” to be a patently offensive title need only remember that she also published the very successful “How to Make Love Like a Porn Star.” (It might have been subtitled, “Making do with vacant eyes, stage moans, and anonymous co-stars.”)

But then, Ms. Regan has actually been in the celebrity business her whole career, with her ability to sell the tatty and salacious elements of contemporary culture. She formed those skills as a reporter for The National Enquirer, but in a world where many office workers spend their days surfing for a shot of Britney Spears sans panties, that work history was a credential, not a knock.

Ms. Regan always lived her public life as if it were one big MySpace page, which she filled with outrageous personal and professional behavior and intemperate words. Part of it seemed like shtick, but she seemed to cross a line bordering on mania after her motives in interviewing Mr. Simpson were questioned.

First, she issued a statement that compared her own alleged victimization as a battered woman with that of the murdered Nicole Brown Simpson. “The men who lied and cheated and beat me — they were all there in the room. And the people who denied it, they were there, too.” (It sounded a little crowded in there.)

Instead of saying sorry about that, Ms. Regan went ballistic in a statement that read like an autopsy on an open deadly wound. Her nonapology apology approached absurdity, a biblical Act of Contrition written (at times) in the voice of a young girl.

“I made the decision to publish this book, and to sit face to face with the killer, because I wanted him, and the men who broke my heart and your hearts, to tell the truth, to confess their sins, to do penance and to amend their lives. Amen.”

Ms. Regan then reflected on her time with Mr. Simpson: “Thought process disorder. No empathy. Malignant narcissism,” she wrote as if she had been looking in a mirror, not conducting an interview.

Her decisions made quick enemies of almost everyone, including some of her colleagues at the News Corporation. To his credit, Bill O’Reilly (a man who knows a thing or two about riding out bad press) called the Simpson project “simply indefensible.” Even Geraldo Rivera’s journalistic principles were offended.

She might survive those two but, in 2006, Mr. Murdoch is another matter. He has done a fine job recently of repositioning himself as media baron who is both a friend of Hillary Rodham Clinton and yet again a pioneer in the evolving media space. One of the cardinal rules in business is to protect the king, but after the Simpson affair, he found himself dragged into the muck of his tabloid past.

In The Los Angeles Times, Tim Rutten invoked that past, assailing the “predatory Australian-born media tycoon Rupert Murdoch, who has devoted his life to making money by making sure that news and entertainment are as coarse and vulgar as can be imagined in as many places as possible.” That kind of public reframing, combined with Ms. Friedman’s antipathy for a renegade West Coast office, made Ms. Regan’s firing a matter of when, not if.

Ms. Regan will change addresses, but not disappear. The best-seller list in any given week attests to the fact that she has a talent for identifying and filling consumer needs. And it is the job of media corporations to satisfy the market without regard to taste or rectitude. That’s no altogether a bad thing. We wouldn’t have “The Simpsons” — another News Corporation product — without it.

But stars, even the biggest-earning ones, become expendable when they begin to embarrass someone besides themselves. Just ask Tom Cruise.

Look both ways, OJ.

So here is a link to the article about how HarperCollins has sacked the woman responsible for the OJ Simpson book deal.

Would-Be O.J. Publisher Fired
by Natalie Finn
Fri, 15 Dec 2006 09:23:00 PM PST

The sensationalist literature maven who tried to play ball with O.J. Simpson has been sacked.

News Corp. announced late Friday that HarperCollins publisher Judith Regan has been fired, a move many are viewing as punishment for the shellacking the company took when she revealed her plans for an exclusive interview with Simpson to promote his hypothetical tell-all, If I Did It, which was going to be released under the ReganBooks imprint.

The book was due out Nov. 30; the two-part interview was slated to air Nov. 27 and 29 on Fox, and News Corp. honcho Rupert Murdoch slammed the brakes on the whole project Nov. 20, about a week after the free world found out what Regan had up her sleeve.

"Judith Regan's employment with HarperCollins has been terminated effective immediately," HarperCollins CEO Jane Friedman said in a statement. Per various reports, Friedman and Regan had a tempestuous relationship over the years, and, according to Variety, Friedman also took a lot of heat for her silence surrounding the Simpson debacle.

In the meantime, the ReganBooks label will continue under the HarperCollins General Book Group. Regan moved her eponymous group, also responsible for Jose Conseco's steroid-fueled memoir Juiced and Jenna Jameson's instructional bio How to Make Love Like a Porn Star, from New York to Los Angeles earlier this year.

According to the New York Times, HarperCollins issued the two-sentence press release with the terse headline, "Judith Regan Terminated," even before her employees on the West Coast were aware of the move. ( HA!)

After Simpson's deal was scrapped (not until after he had been paid a reported $3.5 million, however), the erstwhile murder suspect told a Miami radio station that the title of the book and TV special was not his idea and that a ghost writer was responsible for much of the book's lurid details about how Simpson would have killed ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend, Ronald Goldman, if he had done it.

I see, if it is ghost written, it is totally not your problem. Additionally, I cannot believe that he got 3.5 million dollars for this!!!

Simpson also criticized Murdoch, who called the former footballer's deal "ill-considered" and apologized "for any pain that this has caused the families of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson," (Did OJ forget he is supposed to be Nicole's family? I'm pretty sure if my mom was brutally murdered, my dad -in spite of their divorce- would not take advantage of her death in such a spectacularly revolting fashion. He has their kids, what the fuck is wrong with him?) saying the multimedia mogul shouldn't be "taking the high road either."

Not like OJ, who probably killed someone, then got away with it because justice does not outweigh a race riot in LA. On the other other hand, I am positive that Murdoch knew what was going down and only weighed in when popular opinion swung against the book.

Too late on all counts. Brown Simpson's sister, Denise Brown, said Nov. 21 on the Today show that News Corp. offered her family "millions of dollars" under the table to step aside when If I Did It hit shelves and airwaves.

While the company admitted discussing money with the family, a spokesman denied that there was any stipulation requiring the Browns to keep quiet.

Regan, meanwhile, defended the project in an eight-page statement released across multiple media channels, saying that the book deal money went to a third party to ensure that Simpson himself didn't profit from it.

Right. A third party- who, Kato?

The memoir-peddler labeled her position as being on the side of justice, saying, "I made the decision to publish this book and to sit face to face with the killer because I wanted him, and the men who broke my heart and your hearts, to tell the truth, to confess their sins, to do penance and to amend their lives."

What a bitch. What a colossal excuseless, remorseless, bloodless cunt.

If it was a line, no one was biting, including multiple Fox affiliates, who said prior to News Corp.'s ultimate decision to scuttle the project, that they wanted no part of it.

And if this tells you anything, the book didn't even encounter a warm reception from the Internet, the place where everyone assumed the tome would end up anyway.

Booksellers alibris.com and biblio.com both removed listings for the book last Friday, and eBay also knocked at least eight copies from the auction block—although not before at least one inquiring mind picked up a copy for $50, USA Today reported this week.

"It's a disgusting book, and we don't want to sell it," even if "people may have a right to sell it," Alibris CEO Martin Manley told the newspaper.

Catherine England, a spokeswoman for eBay, echoed the sentiment, citing the auction site's "murderbilia" policy.

"Out of respect for murder victims, eBay may remove items closely associated with murder cases dating over the last 100 years," England said. "We reached out to the publisher who holds the copyright; they said they did not intend to distribute this book."

Actually, HarperCollins vowed last month to destroy every copy. According to early estimates, about 400,000 were printed, but there's no word on how many still exist.

Then there's the bookseller, who wished to remain anonymous, who told USA Today that he had snatched up 11 copies for about $12,000 from "a guy who knows a guy who works in a bookstore."

He told the paper he doesn't believe in destroying books, but he does believe in free speech. However, he didn't want to be identified for fear of being labeled "evil" for profiting from the Simpson book.

I love how free speech is such a nice excuse to be a nauseating piece of shit.

Of course there's no accounting for the taste of the guy who buys from the guy who met the guy who knows a guy.

Oh and just in case you forgot the evidence in the trial (courtesy of Wikipedia):

• DNA analysis of the blood found in, on, and near Simpson's Bronco revealed traces of Simpson's, Nicole's, and Ronald Goldman's blood.
• DNA analysis of bloody socks found in Simpson's bedroom showed the blood to be Nicole's.
• Simpson's hair was found on Goldman's shirt even though Simpson claimed not to have been at the home and never to have met Goldman.
• DNA analysis of blood on the gloves was proven to be a mixture of Simpson's, Nicole's, and Ronald Goldman's. The gloves also contained particles of Goldman's hair and carpet fibers from Simpson's Bronco.
• Arrest records indicate that Simpson had been charged with the beating of his wife Nicole. Photos of Nicole's bruised and battered face emerged. Simpson was sentenced to 3 years of community service for the crime.
• Police discovered that the dome light in the Bronco had been removed. A search of the vehicle revealed the light was carefully placed under the passenger seat and was in good working condition. Puzzling blood smears on the passenger floorboard indicated that Simpson may have purposely removed the light and placed it under the seat before the murders (assuming he had indeed murdered Brown Simpson and Goldman). Then after the murders he may have unsuccessfully tried to find it to put it back in the socket. Police on stakeouts routinely remove the dome lights from their vehicles to avoid detection when the car doors are opened.
• It was discovered that one set of keys to Nicole Brown Simpson's home were missing. She had indicated to several family members and friends that she feared Simpson had stolen them to gain entry into her home. The keys were later found in Simpson's home.
• Paula Barbieri indicated that she had broken up with Simpson the day of the murders. She indicated he seemed very disturbed at the news. Phone records proved that Simpson attempted to contact her shortly before the murders from his Bronco's cellular phone.
• The left-hand glove found at Nicole's home and the right-hand glove found at O.J.'s home proved to be a match. They were also proven to be Simpson's size. Even though Simpson claimed under oath that he did not own a pair of Aris Isotoner gloves, several media pictures emerged showing Simpson wearing these exact gloves.
• Bloody footprints in Nicole's home were identified as being made from a pair of Bruno Magli shoes. These shoes are expensive and rare. The size 12 prints match Simpson's shoe size. Simpson claims under oath that he does not own such shoes and in fact indicates that he thinks they "are ugly." A photograph was introduced showing Simpson wearing the exact shoes at an NFL football game. Simpson claimed under oath that the photo is a forgery and is backed up by an expert witness. Later, another photo taken by a different source, also showed Simpson wearing the same shoes at another NFL football game.
• Friends and family indicated that Nicole claimed that Simpson had been stalking her. She said that everywhere she went she saw Simpson there watching her. She was afraid because Simpson had already told her he would kill her if he ever found her with another man.
• Ross Cutlery provided store receipts indicating Simpson had purchased a 12-inch Stiletto knife six weeks before the murders. A replica of the knife was purchased by the police and provided an exact match to the wounds on Nicole and Ronald Goldman.

And to be fair (well, as fair as I get) opposing evidence and alternate theories:

• The murder of Ron and Nicole was among a string of murders of people associated with Simpson, Ron, and Nicole. Casmir Sucharski, a friend of Simpson, was murdered two weeks after Ron and Nicole. On March 19, 1995, Simpson's friend, record company promoter Charles Minor, was murdered. On July 30, 1993, eleven months before the famous double murder, Ron Goldman's friend Brett Cantor was killed with a knife in a manner identical to Ron and Nicole: from behind and across the throat and stabbed repeatedly on the arms and chest. Michael Nigg, a waiter at the Mezzaluna (where Ron Goldman was also a waiter) was shot in the head and killed. Another Mezzaluna waiter barely survived a car bombing.
• Many working at Mezzaluna were involved with the Mafia and/or the drug trade.
• Photos of Nicole with known criminals of the drug trade in a hot tub and on a bed were shown on the news. Simpson said he was upset when he saw his children associated with the drug scene with which Nicole had apparently become involved.
• Barry Hoestler, a private investigator hired for the Simpson case by Robert Shapiro, said Nicole talked about the idea of opening a restaurant with Ron Goldman as her partner, and financing it with cocaine profits. Hoestler said Nicole and her friends were "over their heads with some dope dealers".
• Nicole's best friend was Faye Resnick, a cocaine addict. Someone broke into Resnick's apartment to take documents and photographs. Later, Resnick skipped town. Simpson's defense team said Nicole and Ron may have been killed by drug dealers to scare Resnick into paying her drug debt. Prosecutors said there was no evidence to back this theory.
• There was an unexplained DNA mix on the steering wheel column of the car. The DNA was neither Simpson's, nor Nicole's, nor Goldman's.
• The "car testimonies" of Park and Kato, which suggest unexplained movement of vehicle/s, were suppressed from the trial.
• Al Cowlings once served as a bodyguard for convicted drug smuggler Joey Ippolito. Ippolito escaped from a Florida jail three weeks before the murders and made many calls to Simpson. According to the theory, Ippolito probably hired a hitman to commit the drug related murders. Frankie Viserto is one hitman known to be close to Ippolito. In the past, Viserto has tortured and beheaded his victims with a knife.
• Nicole's sister Denise Brown was often seen and photographed with ex-Mob enforcer and FBI informant Tony Fiato, a recruit of Ippolito. Denise denied that Fiato was her boyfriend.
• Police detectives broke state law and their own policy when they waited hours to summon the county coroner.
• In violation of policy, evidence remained in the processing room for three days before the first piece was booked in the secure ECU. The evidence was on a tabletop, and could be handled by anyone with access. 70 to 80 police personnel had access.
• Someone broke into Robert Shapiro's office, forced open a locked filing cabinet, and stole confidential papers related to the case.
• Simpson said that only once, in 1989, had he and Nicole got into a fight that injured her. Nicole used makeup in one of the photos showing her with facial bruises after the fight. He said Nicole's written statements of domestic abuse were a plan to get out of a prenuptial agreement.

None of these assertions explains Simpson's behavior following the murders, such as the self-incriminating statement to police, the attempt to flee, the suicide note, the apologies to the police who eventually arrested him, the inability to remember how he had cut his finger to the bone the night of the murders, or his differing statements about his whereabouts during the time of the murders. In addition, none of this explains how Simpson's DNA was at the murder scene and the victims' blood was inside his car and his home.

Jason Simpson Theory

• Jason Simpson had developed a crush on Nicole Brown Simpson, and was angry at the lifestyle she was involved in, which included drug use.

• Jason Simpson had been known to go into violent epileptic rages and would often not remember what he had done. (Yea, epileptic people murder, like all the time.)
  

• Jason was a chef-in-training and would always carry his knife set with him. These knives were more than capable of committing the murders, and inflicting the type of wounds found on the victims.

• Jason had no alibi the night of the murders, as the restaurant he was working at was closed that night. He stated he was cooking in front of 200 people the night of the murders. However, the restaurant that he worked at during the murders could hold a maximum of 87 people at any one time. He also later stated in a civil deposition that he clocked out after the murders had taken place.

• After committing the murders, Jason called Simpson to the crime scene. Simpson struggled with his son to take the weapons from him, thus providing the detectives with the gloves and the blood evidence that would be used at his trial. Dear also believes this is where O.J. received the cut on his hand that prosecutors said was inflicted during the murders.

• O.J. tried to cover up the crime of his son because of the guilt O.J. felt as a result of being a neglectful father.

In the long run, I don't know for certain whether or not he did it. But the way he has handled himself is disgusting. I wouldn't call 911 if I found him bleeding to death in the street. Eh, who am I kidding I wouldn't tap my break if I saw him crossing the street.
Frankly, I am surprised that some crazy hasn't gotten him yet.
Still time though. Plenty of time.

One track mind

So I think that I mentioned that one of the books in my current reading rotation is Salt: A World History.
Well, I think that I am salt obsessed.
Last night I was at a cocktail thing with a coworker to view a European Vacation slide show. Diane, said coworker, was commenting on the salty sardines and other fish she was constantly consuming in Italy, which naturally brought me about to this tangent about the salt trade in ancient Italy and Egypt and why salted fish were so historically significant.
Later, she mentioned that they could tour a salt mine. I, without thinking, excitedly asked if she had any pictures. Staring at me as though I was crazy she said, "no." I then went on to tell nobody in particular that the ancient miners in the salt mines of Germany were some of the first mummified corpses found in Europe. They were incredibly intact from their tools, to their clothing, and even their bodies-- including their hair! Amazing!
People shifted around awkwardly and then we looked at a picture of the Vatican. Vatican, shmatican I say. Ancient salt mines are totally awesome.