Going back to Cali

So I leave for California at the crack of dawn tomorrow for a week-long 3 prong vacation (during which you will likely be update-less).

My cousin and I are starting in Lake Tahoe at her parent's lake house, then spending a bit of time at their ranch outside of Sacramento to ride horses and visit relatives, then to San Francisco to see my cousin's new apartment and do the museum thing.

I am very interested in the Cartoon Art Museum... which happens to be located quite close to Beard Papa's Creme Puffs (though I hear one is opening soon here in Seattle). I also hope to cross a few things off of my 101 List while I'm down there, so that should be a good time.

I would be remiss, however, if I failed to mention that I am utterly stressed out about this trip because I have to fly.

I'm not scared of plane crashes or anything- I just hate the whole rush to get there, then wait, getting checked in, dealing with getting luggage into bins I can't reach using 1 working arm and 1 with no sensation and limited strength, sitting by strangers, and getting out of the airport. I'm terrified of not packing the right things, sitting next to a smelly or a chatty, missing my flight, or getting bumped.

Worst of all is the pitifully ineffective but incredibly inconvenient security. Inevitably I am searched. I must be on some list or perhaps I'm just traveling alone while looking vaguely ethnic-ish. I always get hand searched and my luggage always gets turned before it gets on the plane because when I arrive my stuff is always all mangled and occasionally missing.

The second I am out of the airport, luggage in hand, I will be zen- until the day before I have to return.

Absence of Blogage Linked Directly to Life Suckage

Friday morning-ish I went in to schedule my cortisone shot and figure out what was entailed and somehow was persuaded to get the shot right then. Saying "no" to doctors, especially aged patrician style doctors, is too difficult for me.

I would also like to say that I balled up and took the shot like a man, which is to say that while I did not kick the doctor I did make petrified little squeaking noises while I covered my eyes.

My doctor told me I should be fine (pain-wise) for a few hours until the anaesthetic wore off, at which point I would experience "The Flare." "The Flare" is when your hurty foot now hurts like the proverbial bitch. T

his is why there was no blogage on Friday. I have a lovely bruise on the bottom of my tootsie now, so I am not sure whether the pain is still the fasciitis or if it is the large gauge needle that was jabbed repeatedly into my foot. I know that my foot pain related news is keeping you all on the edges of your seats, so I'll update you later.




In further (craptastic) news the SUC-mobile decided to uhm, not be mobile and is sitting at home right now probably watching The View and eating cookie dough out of the freezer.

Luckily my auto-shop said they could fit in some QT with The SUCker and hopefully I can return to damaging the environment, no less than twice daily.

Thanks to Monica for loaning me her far swankier car. Although enjoying the heated seats was lovely, you never notice how terrifying driving on the freeway is until your are driving somebody else's much much nicer vehicle. This definitely includes the moment I had with the beautiful 68 Mustang that roared up on me in the second right most lane, causing me to nearly soil myself. Said I to the enchanting vehicle, "I would never drive you like that, baby." At which point Blackstreet's "Good Lovin'" began to play in the background. Sadly the driver stole away into the fog leaving a 68 Mustang shaped cloud of smoke behind it.





In other mundane news, I saw Joyeux Noel (Merry Christmas) last night and found it to be cute and satisfying. The story of the impromptu cease-fires and shared Christmas celebrations across the trenches in WWI was a hair sacrine, but did show how interconnected Europe is and was and how soldiers are encouraged to hate an enemy that they would probably like if they didn't meet at gun point. 3.5-4 well-behaved monkeys out of 5.





I also finished up CSI (6) which was interesting, but not engrossing (though season 6 is better than others) and Entourage (2) which was spectacular as usual (and also stars that guy from The Devil Wears Prada who I am too lazy to look up - Adrian something?- who is super-hot).

In this season of Entourage there was even a San Diego Comi-Con episode, which was an awesome cross-over between three things I like: 1. Comics. 2. Graphic HBO shows. 3. Men with whom I would like to have sloppy make-outs.

In other apropos of nothing thoughts, if I recall correctly Kevin Connolly (the manager from Entourage) was in The Notebook. This is not particularly significant other than the fact that The Notebook was an abomination and Entourage is one of my favorite shows. I'm sure the Notebook related significance for Kevin Connolly had something to do with food and the putting of it in his mouth.

When Rabies Attacks... breakfast food items

Watch out waffle!!!

Monday night I finally decided to break down and buy a crappy waffle iron after years of searching for the perfect one. Target did not have a waffle iron that I was going to settle for- even though the website said they have it.

I want square waffles. I want traditional (i.e. non-Belgian) waffles. With adjustable doneness and a timer. And I would like it to cost less than 50 bucks, but not be an utter piece of crap.

Am I crazy to spend 5 years looking for a waffle iron? Maybe. I suppose I could have bought the $90 Williams-Sonoma one 5 years ago and gotten $90 dollars worth of use out of it already... oh well.

Two great tastes that taste, wait, what?

Introducing Woddles. Do you like penguins? Do you like waffles? Now you can enjoy penguins in a new way, with syrup and bacon.








So this is all pretty disturbing to me. This Sunbeam product is only available in Australia, the land known for its tremendous penguin eating bastardry.




Actually, the main problem is that unlike your normal waffle, it lacks the symmetrical cavities into which one may place a blueberry or chocolate chip, or perhaps even an exact amount of peanut butter, all in perfect communistic order. (See below, see the order!)













Obviously, the hollow cavity in the middle of the Woddle will create a surplus of topping matter in the middle. Sunbeam claims this is for a scoop of ice cream. Sacrilege!!! Everyone knows that ice cream on a waffle is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord!!

This is going to be an awesome year.

Trust me, I can just tell.

For example, I started my new year with cinamon rolls and bacon at Mae's and there was no wait. Seriously, at Mae's at 10 am. This is clearly a good omen.

Today I came into work and found 3 smurfs car-sets waiting on my desk. A good sign.

I tell you I've got the world on a string. Fan-tastic.

More google images

Yet again, I got nuthin to say.













This is a man with a cardboard waffle.

I got nuthin.

Sorry about the silence. I've been pretty busy with family things.

Some deep thoughts:

1. I recieved a postcard from buddy and expert christmas tree carrier, Charles that shows a cat with its mouth full and has a long sentence in German. It says something about finding a bird according to a coworker. I have hung it in my cubical.
Hopefully it doesn't say anything about cocks.

2. Recent circumstances have dramatically increased my interest in dog ownership. However, in order to own a dog I need to live within 10 minutes of work (to take him out at mid-day) or I need to have a yard. Unfortunately, this means I would have to live in Lynnwood. Which would be fine, except that I would have to live in Lynnwood.
In order to stay in Seattle and have a yard, I would have to marry an old rich man and have him killed or make more money. However, if I make more money I am at work longer and now the dog is alone in the yard 12 hours a day.
Anyone know any rich old men with heart conditions?

3. Sting has released a lute music album. Dustin Diamond has released a porn video. Why is the world all fucked up?

4. This a bird eating a waffle.

A break from North Korea

Don't ask me, I just typed 'waffle' into Google Images.

Good times, good times.