Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Come to Powwow

1st Annual Indian Summer Powwow

September 23, 2006

A Community Event Honoring All Students
Sponsored by Edmonds School District #15 Title Vll Program and E-15 Nations


*Start 4:00PM Grand Entry at 6:00PM
*Dance Contest K-12
*Host Drum: Nation Singers
*BBQ Cook-Out: $4.00 adults, $2.00 students and elders (meal ticket for registered student dancers)
*Vendors $25.00
* Located at:
Edmonds Homeschool Resource Center
23200 100th Ave West
Edmonds, WA

Contact Information: Gail Morris 425/431-7133 OR 206/719-3314
morrisg@edmonds.wednet.edu



If you have never been to Powwow before, you should totally go. My friend Gail is running it and profits bennefit Indian Education. The food and venders should be great and the kids need the money. A little fry bread, a little fancy dancing, a little promoting literacy- what's not to love?

If you would like to have a vendor booth call Gail at the number above.

Guilty




















I love nature documentaries. My whole family does. We deeply enjoyed watching Steve Irwin. We also loved prophesizing his death.

For example:
Steve Irwin: And now I'm going to reach into this piranha infested pool.
My 11 year old cousin Sean: And he slips and is promptly eaten! Live bait! Ha!
Me: *high five*

Now that he has passed away (rather disastrously similar to the scenarios we so enjoyed making up) I feel very bad. We never wanted anything to happen to him. Maybe we mocked it because we didn't expect it, though I guess it was just the obvious conclusion.

I'm sorry we teased you after you brought us so much joy and wonder. I am proud of your work teaching people about the world in which we live. You engendered children with a desire to see nature as something fantastic and worth preserving. You made the world more vast, yet more familiar. It is a better world from having you here.

Thank you.




Friday, September 01, 2006

Friday Thoughts

1. Really must stop intentionally aggravating dates in order to "gauge their response." I went out with a very lovely and sincere teacher this week and as soon as I found out that he was the wrong kind of geek I turned on him like one of those crazy-ass raccoons. A conservative political geek. Oh my stars and garters- I may be a sci-fi, comic book, history, and science geek; but really, isn't a political geek only a few minor steps above a sports geek (unless you are Terry, in which case it is highly sexy). Especially if you are a sycophantic commentator TV show watcher. As he went on I decided to throw my NPR obsession in for shits and giggles. Oh well. I guess the Liberal Zionist Media Conspiracy claims yet another good American.

2. This Warren Jeffs guy better be sweating bullets. Child rapists have a special place in hell.

3. Very distressed about the Jon Benet Ramsey thing. I have always felt so miserable for her poor brother. Either the police cocked that up royally or those parents are guilty as sin. I'd really hoped for a breakthrough with this Karr guy although it seemed like such a longshot to begin with.

4. More boring foot updates: I went to the podiatrist today and he recommended PT and orthotics. Which burns my buttons as that is exactly what the PT said, and that my family doctor called, and I am not exaggerating, "poppycock." Additionally, said specialist was particularly intrigued by my tumor removal from a few years ago. "You had a schwanoma in your arm?! Wow, that is quite rare," he said with simultaneous longing and excitement. "Did you see it?" "Nope," I responded, "but my doctor kept it." Looking at me as though to say "duh" he said"Naturally, how interesting!" I briefly considered hooking them up. Blech!

5. I recently decided that if I can't exercise on this stupid doom foot and thus will be fat as a beluga, I should try to divert attention from my fat ass to my face. I feel pretty good about it thus far (my face, not the ass) though I have not been brave enough to use the eye shadow yet. I have this weird thing about not jabbing myself in the eye. Anyway, I think I feel girlier than ever now. I'll let you decide if that's a pro or a con.

Heartless Bastard-ness

Hi-larious, I say, hi-larious. Take that, Darwin.









Hedgehogs humble McDonald's

Thu Aug 31, 11:49 AM ET

LONDON (Reuters) - Hedgehogs have finally humbled burger giant McDonald's after years of campaigning, forcing the company to redesign its killer McFlurry ice-cream containers.

Up to now the opening in the container has been large enough for hedgehogs to get their heads into for a lick of the left-over dessert -- a trap they have then been unable to withdraw from, so dying of starvation in untold numbers.

But from September 1, the wide-mouthed opening in the lid of the McFlurry containers will be reduced in size, making them too small for the sugar-loving animals to get their heads into.

"This is excellent, it is long overdue news," said Fay Vass, chief executive of the British Hedgehog Preservation Society. "We have been in touch with McDonald's about this problem for over five years and are delighted that they have at last solved the problem."

McDonald's said in a statement the design change had resulted from pressure from the society which prompted "significant research and design testing" to develop new packaging.

"The smaller aperture of the lid has been designed to prevent hedgehogs from entering the McFlurry container in the unfortunate incidence that a lid is littered and is then accessible to wildlife," it added.

Yum.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

2 Good Reasons to...

never forget to take your pill.

Today my Paramount email came and the following shows were featured. Apparently for some increment of money you can view the "Doodlebops." I have NO idea what those are, but they look like villains from a Sci-Fi Channel Original Movie.





















For some more money you can catch "Dorothy Dinosaur's Dance Party" as well. Apparently this show features a dinosaur, a doggie, a pregnant squid, and a pirate. I'm wondering when the pirate, dinosaur, and squid gang up on the doggie. For 66 bucks I can find out. Or I could buy some shoes.

Happy Birthday, Baby

Happy Birthday, Mr. May Be President Someday After All, Happy Birthday to you.

John McCain, I salute you on this happy day. I will eat a cupcake in your honor this evening.

Quilters are dirty.

Mebbie and I went to Aaron Brothers to retrieve a custom mat that I had ordered and while we were there, the morons behind the counter were fretting because they realized there was no pen at the custom framing desk. Now, I don’t want to be a TOTAL bitch, but they sell pens at Aaron Brothers. Mebbie pulls a pen out of her purse and hands it to the elderly woman being helped at the counter. The woman glances at the pen and then does a double take and reads aloud, “The Strip Club.” Then Mebbie blurts, “I jacked that pen from my mom!”

Apparently, the Strip Club is some sort of quilting group. Or so she would have you believe.

Oh, and in a semi-related side note, I don't advise anyone to patronize Aaron Brothers. After three visits of a combined 2+ hours and a span of over 3 weeks I still do not have a mat that fits the frame that I bought at Aaron Brothers.



Thursday, August 24, 2006

Bees in a Jeep

In order to save my houseguest some money and effort, I decided to loan her my car and borrow my grandparent’s spare Jeep. I think it is cursed.

Weeks ago I asked if I could borrow said Jeep and was told that I could, so it came as a wee bit of a surprise to helpful friend Steve and me when half-way to Monroe (a 45 minute plus drive) whilst stopping at a Starbucks for coffee I got a phone call along the lines of this:

“Hi Grammy!”

“Hi Punkin, are you on your way yet?”

“Yep, be there in maybe half an hour.”

“Oh, Ok. I thought I should mention that the Jeep isn’t always starting.”

“Uhm, what?”

“Yes, you may have to switch between park and neutral and try a few times.”

“Uhm. Right. Ok, well, see you in a bit.”

“Oh WAIT!”

“Yes?”

“Should I make extra bacon?”

“Yes.”

I was a tad bit nervous; but the car pickup went quite smoothly and all was well until I get to Safeway wherein I receive a phone call from Grammy letting me know that the tabs on the Jeep have expired. Cursed, I say, cursed.

The day before yesterday I was at the library (because I am studying to become a spinster) and I opened the driver side door to get out and there is a wasp nest between the door and the car’s frame. And in the nest, were the resident wasps.

How I had the car for four days and how prior to that nobody noticed the terrifying-stinging-insect infestation is beyond me.

I sat frozen watching the wasps buzzing about angrily for about 5 seconds before slamming the door with a squeak (mine, not the door’s). For some reason I thought that I could call Megan and she would tell me what to do. Her advice was limited to what came up on Google when she typed “wasp nest destroy.” You know what Megan? I hope law school works out for you because your terrifying-stinging-pest removal skills are piss poor.

Finally I called my uncle who told me to get back into the stinging/potential allergy attack inducing/death Jeep and drive over to his house. The drive was harrowing- though mostly for other drivers.

After crawling out the passenger side door I equipped myself in a makeshift beekeeper’s suit of a raincoat with the hood closed down to a tiny peephole.

My uncle went to the back porch, grabbed the wasp spray, extinguished his cigarette and in bare feet and plaid shorts walked up to the Jeep, opened the door and sprayed the nest.

The four wasps (I swear to God some must have sensed danger and escaped) promptly flopped to the ground. Then he asked me for a pen, which he used to pry the nest off the Jeep. Finally he threw the nest and corpses into the bushes and tried to give me the pen back. I told him to just keep the pen.

Now I don’t want to alarm my houseguest, but I’m pretty sure that someone from Bryn Mawr will be by to take my diploma back because they think I’m some sort squeaking, bug-fearing sissy girl who needs men to solve my problems.

They would be right.

The diploma fell behind the TV months ago and I’ve been too lazy to pick it up, so just reach back there and grab it. But if you jack up my NES, we’re going to have some words.

I’m an idiot.

This morning a coworker was making welcome signs in various languages and called me to ask if I speak Japanese; which I mostly do.

She then said “Can you come here and make sure it says ‘welcome’ and not ‘penis?’”

Then I said, “Well, does it say Youkoso?”

And she said, “I have no idea, because it is written in Japanese [you moron].”

Sorry Pluto, it's not you, it's us.

Well, it has happened. My glow in the dark solar system sheets are out of date.
Drat.
I feel kind of excited that the definition of planet is no longer 'round thing orbiting the sun.' Rules make me feel safe and happy.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I like my men like I like my construction noise:

with sporatic, but well-planned drilling....

The following arrived at high-priority status in my office mailbox today:

Dear fellow building occupants,
Please be advised that between the hours of 8:00 AM and 11:00 AM tomorrow morning (Thursday 8/24/06), there will be sporadic, but well-planned drilling noises near the tech services portion of the building. That is the northwest corner of the building. These noises should be short in duration.
Thank you for your patience.

As a footnote: this guy is totally married and is above me on the pay scale. Unbe-fucking-lievable.

Qu'est-ce que c'est

Psycho killer raccoons terrorize Olympia

Tue Aug 22, 9:04 PM ET

OLYMPIA, Washington - A fierce group of raccoons has killed 10 cats, attacked a small dog and bitten at least one pet owner who had to get rabies shots, residents of Olympia say.

Some have taken to carrying pepper spray to ward off the masked marauders and the woman who was bitten now carries an iron pipe when she goes outside at night.

"It's a new breed," said Tamara Keeton, who with Kari Hall started a raccoon watch after an emotional neighborhood meeting drew 40 people. "They're urban raccoons, and they're not afraid."

Tony Benjamins, whose family lost two cats, said he got a big dog a German Shepherd-Rottweiler mix— to keep the raccoons away.

One goal of the patrol is to get residents to stop feeding raccoons and to keep pets and pet food indoors.

Lisann Rolle said she began carrying an iron pipe when she goes outside at night after being bitten by raccoons when she tried to pull three of them off her cat Lucy. She obtained rabies shots afterward as a precaution.

"I was watching her like a hawk, but she snuck out," Rolle said. "Then I heard this hideous sound — a coyote-type high pitch ... It was vicious. They were focused on ripping her apart."

The attacks have been especially shocking because raccoons came within five feet (1 1/2 meters) of cats without any problem in previous years, Benjamins said.

"We used to love the raccoons. They'd have their babies this time of year, and they were so cute. Even though we lived in the city, it was neat to have wildlife around," he said, "but this year, things changed. They went nuts."

In one case five raccoons tried to carry off a small dog, which managed to survive.

The attacks, all within a three-block area near the Garfield Nature Trail in Olympia, are highly unusual, said Sean O. Carrell, a problem wildlife coordinator with the state Department of Fish and Wildlife, adding that trappers may be summoned from the U.S.Department of Agriculture to remove problem animals.

"I've never heard a report of 10 cats being killed. It's something were going to have to monitor," Carrell said.

Meanwhile, residents have hired Tom Brown, a nuisance wildlife control operator from Rochester, Washington, to set traps, but in six weeks he has caught only one raccoon. He and Carrell said raccoons teach their young— and each other to avoid traps.

Brown said he had seen packs of raccoons this big but none so into killing.

"They are in command up there," he said.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Comic Book Pajama Party

Oh Netflix, you cock-tease.

Meet eight beautiful, intelligent and fun young women who also happen to be huge comic book fans. Gathering together one evening to talk about the comic books they love -- and hate -- these gals lounge, eat chocolate, guzzle wine and give you the low-down on manga, anime, Neil Gaiman, Marvel and DC, the universe in general and men in particular. Be a fly on the wall as these smart, savvy and outspoken chicks dish about more than just pop culture.

Yes, that's right. PG-13 wannabe soft-porn for fan boys.

Note the disgruntled customer reviews:

Comic Book Pajama Party offers a great premise; namely, girls in pajamas waxing poetic about your favorite comic books. Unfortch, the girls that are in it are completely ill-informed about everything, ranging from the plots and characters down to the very definition of what makes a comic a comic. They spend more than twenty minutes talking about anime, and even then, their conversation is trite and unentertaining. Even the attempt at titillation, a Twister game, comes off as half-hearted and lame. All in all, don't waste your time. This demands a remake.
***************************
These are women who sit around talking about comic books, like the description says. There are only two women who are even moderately attractive. This film would be rated G if it were not for the use of the F word once or twice (Maybe). They don't reveal anything new about comic books, or anime, which they spend a lot of time talking about. They are not smart and savvy as the description says. As a comic book fan, I think this was incredibly boring. I would rather watch the scene in "Stand By Me" when they talk about who can beat who up, Superman, Hulk, etc. Better comic book films are Comic Book Villains and Unbreakable. THIS is not a fanboy movie. Skip this, for your own sake.

So you heard it hear at the Conspiracy first: Unbreakable was a better movie than Comic Book Pajama Party. (In spite of the fact that Unbreakable didn't have a twister scene- something that could have really made a difference in the Oscar race.)

I should also mention that my former roommate Mebbie is in town for the week and we plan to spend lots of time in pajamas reading comics, and even talking about them. You could even call it a party if that is what it takes. RAWWWWWR boys, RAAAWWWWWR.

good bye













Robert Baron, 1944-2006: Listeners sought out Madman Moskowitz

By BILL VIRGIN P-I REPORTER

Robert Baron, better known to radio listeners in the region as Madman Moskowitz, died Friday after a brief illness. He was 61.

For more than two decades the self-proclaimed "maniacal maestro of malodorous melodies" entertained audiences with a radio program on which he played comedy routines, musical satire, novelty tunes and songs that were intentionally or unintentionally funny, along with classic country tunes from what he called his "nostalgia bin."

Over the years his show aired on just about every country station in the market, many of them now gone. Most recently "Music With Moskowitz" aired at noon Saturdays on Everett community station KSER-FM (90.7).

In his day job Baron was a middle-school teacher in the Edmonds School District. He retired at the end of the most recent school term after 35 years teaching here and in Los Angeles.

"He was a tremendous asset to the station," said Ed Bremer, the former manager and now news and public affairs director at KSER. "His was one of our most popular shows. He just made Saturday afternoons fun. He enjoyed coming in and doing his show, and we enjoyed having him."

A native of Pasadena, Calif., Baron got an early start in entertainment as an extra in such films as "Rebel Without a Cause." His radio career started in earnest in this region in the mid-1970s at KRAB-FM, but he had stints at KMPS-FM, KRPM-FM, KKBY-FM and KYCW-AM. The Moskowitz name came from an artist's signature on a poster of a rabbit.

Continual shifts in station formats forced Baron repeatedly to seek new homes for his show. It was an effort his listeners appreciated. "People were always seeking out his show" and were constantly calling to find where they could hear it, said Becky Brenner, the program director at KMPS-FM, who worked with Baron.

In the mid-1990s "Music With Moskowitz" was the No. 1- rated program among listeners 25-to-54 in its Sunday evening slot on KRPM-FM, said Nathan Judson, who as "Nathan Detroit" served as Moskowitz's on-air sidekick and took listeners' calls.

The phone calls for song requests and votes for the show's top song mattered greatly to Baron, Judson said. "Their feedback was critical to Robert," he said. "He felt that to be disconnected from your audience is the worst thing you can do."

Baron's show was virtually the only on-air outlet for the works of legendary musical comedians such as Tom Lehrer, Stan Freberg, Allan Sherman, Spike Jones and Weird Al Yankovic. But his show also featured many local comedy songs that would otherwise have had no airing, from Stan Boreson to "Godzilla Ate Tukwila" and "The Aroma of Tacoma." All were drawn from a huge personal library of 50,000 records, 2,000 reels of tape and 2,000 CDs, all of which he referred to as his "little flat friends."

"He was just so dedicated to making sure there was an outlet for that music," Brenner said, adding that Baron did extensive research on the material "to have great stories to tell" about what he was playing.

"I just loved his passion for everything that was wacky and crazy" in music, she said.

Services will be at 10:30 a.m. Aug. 26 at Blessed Sacrament Church in Seattle. Judson and Catherine Sinclair, Baron's longtime close friend, plan a tribute on today's show at noon at KSER.

KSER's Moskowitz dies at 61

DJ Robert Baron gave offbeat music a home on the dial

By Scott Pesznecker Herald Writer

EVERETT - Robert Baron, known by many in the region as radio host Madman Moskowitz, died Friday after a sudden illness. He was 61.

Baron, who lived in Seattle's Magnolia neighborhood, entertained listeners with his shows for more than two decades. His most recent show, "Music with Moskowitz," aired from noon to 2 p.m. Saturdays on Everett public radio station KSER (90.7 FM).

His show featured a mix of comedy routines, musical parodies and songs that were "unintentionally funny," said Nathan Judson, who produced Baron's radio shows and assisted him on the air as "Nathan Detroit."

On Wednesday, Baron met with Judson at the radio station in Everett and asked him to handle Saturday's show. He was admitted into the hospital later that day.

Judson made good on his promise. Saturday's show became a tribute to Madman Moskowitz, he said.

"He will be sorely missed," Judson said. "His greatest strength was his commitment to his listeners. His show was all about them; it wasn't just something he wanted to do. It was really connected."

When Baron wasn't in the radio booth, he was often in the classroom. Baron recently retired after teaching math, journalism and English for more than 25 years at Alderwood Middle School.

"He was such a giving person," Judson said. "It was his way of trying to give the world more than he took."

Baron, who was from Pasadena, Calif., got his start in show business at a young age.

He was 10 years old when he appeared in the classic 1954 Christmas movie "White Christmas," the last child on the right listening to Bing Crosby sing near the end of the film.

His mother was a Ziegfeld Follies dancer, and he loved show tunes.

Baron carried his eclectic taste for entertainment with him to the radio booth, coworkers said.

"He was a nice guy," said Van Ramsey, who is the host of "Pull the String" on KSER. "He had a great sense of humor, and he was a fun guy to work with."

The station will air "best-of" moments of Moskowitz's shows during its next two Saturday slots, station manager Bruce Wirth said.

"He's pretty irreplaceable," he said. "It's kind of hard to imagine continuing on. He was a great asset to the station."

Friday, August 18, 2006

I feel petty, oh so petty!

So I wasn’t going to blog this because I didn’t want to appear petty, but as it turns out I totally am petty so here we go.

My mother came down from Canada and unexpectedly decided to stay with me in my tiny tiny apartment. I crashed at a friend’s place on the other side of my complex and when I arrived back at my tiny tiny apartment, my mother had rampaged through my tiny tiny monkey themed bathroom and left it a giant giant mess.

When I stared at her sputtering she explained that she needed Q-tips and rather than looking in the cabinet above the sink she decided to ransack a plastic tub that I keep for the things I rarely ever use. By ransack I mean dump on the floor and then scoop back in with limited success. Now there is yellow fuzz in there from my bathmat and the box of Q-tips she found she ripped open and left UPSIDE DOWN in the tub. The tub used to be organized with everything in its proper place. Now it looks like a sanitary napkin salad with Q-tip croutons.

She also apparently rifled through my books, my comic books and my desk.

So, Mother, let me make this clear: if you rummaged through my bed stand and found anything traumatizing, well, it serves you right.

As a final note, the trip actually went really well and I wish I could see Mother just a little bit more, but it is this kind of Bridget Jones’ Diary variety of hijinks that Mother always undertakes that makes me all twitchy and German School Mistress-y.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I defy you to tell me not to go see this:

TMNT

Oh George Allen, You're Going Down, Bitch.

The Republican Senator from Virgina has stepped in it again. First the confederate flag scandal, now the Macaque scandal (note: this is the second macaque reference in this blog). Apparently his opponent, James Webb, sent one of his staffers, SR Sidarth (an native Virginian of Indian-American descent) over to videotape Allen's campaign event.

Allen said:
"Let's give a welcome to macaca, here. Welcome to America and the real world of Virginia."

Allen said this on video. The video his opponent was making. What a moron. Webb couldn't have planned anything better than this. At least now the party knows that he is not their guy for the next presidential election.

Interestingly, Daily Kos is reporting that in spite of Allen's claims to not know what Macaque means, he is an excellent French speaker and in fact his mother is an Afrikaner who speaks fluent French. So there is no chance in hell that a rich white guy in Virginia isn’t aware that calling a dark skinned man a monkey is a sign of, let’s just say disdain. And there is no chance that he doesn’t know that macaque means monkey.

Furthermore, just because you aren't white, doesn't mean you aren't an American, you asshole.

In parting, I don't want to speak too far out of turn, but Virginia isn't the real America, much less the real world. Certainly less so if he gets elected to any other political office.

Who's excited? I'm excited!

Depp to star in Burton's 'Sweeney Todd'

Wed Aug 16, 11:25 PM ET

LOS ANGELES -

Johnny Depp is going from woozy buccaneer to murderous barber.

Depp is reuniting with director Tim Burton ("Charlie and the Chocolate Factory") to play the title role in a film adaptation of Stephen Sondheim's musical "Sweeney Todd," about a 19th-century barber seeking bloody revenge over his wrongful imprisonment.

The star of "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest," this year's biggest hit with a domestic gross of $400 million, is expected to do his own singing, said Marvin Levy, spokesman for DreamWorks, which is co-producing "Sweeney Todd" with Warner Bros.

"Sweeney Todd" marks the sixth collaboration between Depp and Burton, who scored a blockbuster in summer 2005 with "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," in which the actor played the reclusive candyman Willy Wonka.

Their other films together are "Tim Burton's Corpse Bride," "Edward Scissorhands," "Ed Wood" and "Sleepy Hollow."

The filmmakers plan to start shooting "Sweeney Todd" early in 2007.

Sweeney Todd is one of my favorite musicals. It reminds me of one of my fantastic family stories.
So when my family came from Ireland, they settled back East and one night my many greats great uncle went to the pub and never returned. It seems that this was an unsurprising event, as he was so well loved.... Years later they tore the pub down to build a new run for the train and the pub had some bones buried in the basement. Apparently he had got uppity and the owners off'd him and fed him to their pigs. Likely then the pigs were used to feed the other bar flies.

Now that is the circle of life.

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I’ve got the world on a string….

So why is gravity such a week force, you ask. Well you smarty, string theorists believe that there may be a few kinds of strings: stings like rubber bands, strings that are attached at both ends to something else (like a slinky), and strings that are like donuts made of silly putty. Now imagine the putty donut is run over by a steam roller. It’s still a donut, but it’s flat and doesn’t really have a hole. The putty-donut is actually called a membrane or as dorks call it, a brane.

String theorists think that our universe is on a brane. If you can picture a whole bunch of branes all clustered together, like sliced bread, you can imagine that the big bang occurred when whamo! two pieces of bread bumped. This also explains gravity’s weakness… kinda.

Imagine that gravity is a rubber band style string and that electromagnetism is a string attached at both ends to a brane. The rubberband string of gravity would be free to float off- off into other slices of bread, I mean branes. Perhaps where gravity comes from is farther away (the end butt of the bread for example) and thus we have less of it by the time it reaches our slice.

So far, this is all I can figure out about String Theory. Some parts of me wish that it could be true. All the Star Trekian wonders that could arise from such a thing would be amazing. String Theory doesn’t solve for creation, however. If two branes smacked each other and the resulting force created and scattered our universe, where did the branes come from? Furthermore, if we are nothing but random miracles of science, then why is it wrong for me to kill my coworker? No, seriously, give me one good reason, because atheism is very appealing today.