Advanced Cat Yodeling.

This video changed my life. (If life=mood this afternoon.)

Canada Tire, You Shifty Bastard!

How Canada Tire unwittingly discovered how to manipulate consumers based on their purchase via NYT.

Interesting Aticle on the high cost of living below the Poverty Line

I keep trying explain why it the same sorts of expenses cost the poor more to people (particularly at work) and I think that this article does an excellent job.

Something to watch 3000 times in a row.

Very Serious NPR Interview

GACK!

Spider Resurrections Take Scientists by Surprise.

Jibber, jib, gack. ERLK. And then I DIED of sheer horror. Thanks a lot, National Geographic.

Jim, please take note that the accepted ways to kill spiders include:
SQUISH.
SQUASH.
and
SMOOSH.

I find a Crank 2 promotional coaster in combination with pitiful whimpering and frightened leaping/ panicked flailing works fine for spider elimination.

Just make'n conversation...

Oh noes!!!

You may remember the last time I posted this picture. Now it is lol'd. LOL'd indeed.

Ninja What?!!!

Good News!

Almost certainly going to still have a job through next August! Yay!

Happy Thoughts!

Today my coworkers were fretting about the economy. I told them to buck up. After the SwinePacolypse there will be so many new jobs for the survivors to take!

Don't forget to wash your hands!

Viva la Swine!

Dear "Pirate Captain",

I think you may not fully understand what pirating entails. You were probably excited about parrots, rum, and money. I understand that, I also like striped pants and saying "arg". But you may have gotten a romanticized view of pirating (did you see the Princess Bride?). You should blame the media for providing these liberal hippy-dippy portrayals of pirating as a professional career.

So let me set things straight for you. I am not going to sugar-coat this, pirating is dangerous work. For one thing, people will try to shoot you all the time. (This may be why pirating has gone out of fashion.) And I had not known this previously, but apparently pirating makes you get super self-righteous and confused.

When you kidnap a ship captain, hold him hostage for days and threaten to kill him, generally you don't get to call shenanigans when someone shoots your buddy. Now I don't make my living on the high seas, but I'm fairly certain that you set the level of discourse by showing up with a gun.

You say:

“Every country will be treated the way it treats us,” Abdullahi Lami, one of the pirates holding a Greek ship anchored in the pirate den of Gaan, a central Somali town, was quoted by The Associated Press as saying in a telephone interview. “In the future, America will be the one mourning and crying.”

It is a little late to be trying for the Golden Rule.

But here's the deal. You kidnap our guys and then in retaliation we'll just go to your town and kidnap some of your buddies. I think this is pretty reasonable.

Think about it, let us know.

Sincerely,
America

See!

... I'm not the only one shouting "Eye of the tiger, boys, eye of the tiger!" at small geeky boys holding LEGO robots.

Via Daily News:
Nerd Herd spurred on at cheering sendoff to represent city at international robot competition

FIRST Robotics, helping geeks meet cheerleaders since 1989.

More Styrofoam Chickens, Please!

1. I was Wil Wheaton's helper at the Emerald City Comicon last weekend, and I tried really hard not to a) humiliate myself, b) crowd him, c) say anything terrible to humiliate Jim.

I managed to not say, "Gee Wil, I saw you on Criminal Minds and I really bought that you were a rapist. Good on you!" OR "I had a HUGE crush on you as a little girl, but then I discovered Neil Patrick Harris, so I've moved on." So, let's tentatively consider this a success. We'll know for sure that I was not scary when Wil (hopefully) doesn't make a blog post about how he met this crazy chick. *fingers crossed*

2. The point of the story above: I met Wil Wheaton. (Note gloating.)

3. My car decided I should spend more time in Ballard instead of coming home tonight; I eventually showed the Merc who's boss, but it would be awesome if I didn't get laid off so that I could buy a new car. SIGH.

4. I'm looking for a new volunteer position to replace tutoring which will end in June. Anybody ever volunteered someplace that really rocked? Let me know.

5. Best sentence I read today:
"Since when did JoAnn Fabrics become the arbiter of MY morals? I'll go to church for that . . .and when I want styrofoam chickens I'll go to JoAnn's." [ZANG!]
From Jezebel's Jo-Ann Fabrics Refuses to Carry "Controversial" Issue of Quilter's Home Magazine.

Think Geek, do not tease me with things I want and cannot have:

Tauntaun Sleeping Bag.

3 more things:

Because you said you wanted more numbered lists.

1. The tutoring program I volunteer with is canceled because they can't afford to pay the only employee the 8 hours a week she needs to be paid to do her work.

I am tired of Washington State ducking its responsibility to fully fund education. It is garbage. I'm sad that our class sizes are too big for these kids to be served in the classroom and now I'm very sad that members of the community can't help after school.

BOOOOOOO!

2. I'm tired of people telling everyone not to get mad. Being mad is fine. So, for the record, I am mad. I helped my tutoring kid from failing to a B- this term and now she and other students will not recieve the extra help they need to meet the standards set by the US Government and the Washington Legislature.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

3. Oh, and here is one more thing I'm mad about, anyone heard about the new law Karzai is trying to slip through in Afghanistan to appease conservatives (read jerks)?
From The Guardian:
The final document has not been published, but the law is believed to contain articles that rule women cannot leave the house without their husbands' permission, that they can only seek work, education or visit the doctor with their husbands' permission, and that they cannot refuse their husband sex.
...

Akbari said the law gave a woman the right to refuse sexual intercourse with her husband if she was unwell or had another reasonable "excuse". And he said a woman would not be obliged to remain in her house if an emergency forced her to leave without permission.

The international community has so far shied away from publicly questioning such a politically sensitive issue.

We put this guy in office and this is considered ok?

Hey Hillary, pay attention to this, I am watching what you do, and if this passes with no comment due to the "sensitive" nature of the situation you will officially be the biggest setback to women's rights.

When you "allow" a woman to excuse herself from sex if she has an "excuse" you reduce her personhood.

And I don't buy this sensitivity to foreign cultures BS. Telling me that it is culture to subjugate women is like saying it is culture to keep slaves. I'm pretty sure that if you ask a woman if she would like the right to not be raped, or to go where she pleases, nearly everytime the answer will be yes. This law is simply wrong and no arguement will convince me otherwise.

We should not let this constant war with religious extremeists bully us into keeping silent when something is wrong. If you set up a pupet government you'd better have both hands on the strings.

Anyone have $50,000 I could borrow?

Tesla's Model S is up for pre-order.

3 interesting links:

Article debunking popular belief that lobsters and crabs don't feel pain at Discovery. This makes a lot of sense to me because animals have nervous systems to alert them to danger and injury. I've always that that no pain idea was whoey.

Interesting exploration on the politics of gender and sexually transmitted disease over at Jezebel. When Gardasil was marketed to girls, people worried that girls would become "promiscuous", but when it is marketed to boys the major challenges to efficacy and safety. After all why would the parents of strapping boys want to protect the girls, or, heaven forbid, boys with whom they will someday have sex?

A very sad essay about a mother of her violent autistic son is up at Salon and is well worth a read. There is so much about the human mind that we don't know. This mother has no idea as to why specifically he has become so violent, whether his autism is a cause or a contributing factor, or perhaps even only tenuously related. I feel very sorry for her.

Thinking is hard...

In an interesting post about the backlash against the London Police's new terrorism awareness (that phrase seems weird to me) campaign on boingboing I noticed that one of the chosen parodies fell into one of my pet peeves.

Saying silly things. See:












"The police have failed to stop 100% of bombs that have exploded."

Well, that is true. But they have stopped 100% of the ones that they stopped.

SIGH.

This is exactly the same as when I lose something at work and someone says "Well, it's always in the last place you look." Of course it is. Because I've found it, thus am no longer looking. Maybe what they want to say is that it is in a weird place where you wouldn't look.

I also don't believe in CCTV, ridiculous scare tactics, etc., but when you parody it is important that you are more clever than the designer of the original poster. The point of the original poster is that a terrorist can strike anywhere, which I felt was handily supported by the parody.

In the end, all this parody said to me is that the creator thinks that before the War in Iraq they didn't have a terrorist problem. (HA HA HA HA HA HA.) Also they think that there is no way to stop terrorist attacks, so why give the police crap about not stopping terrorist attacks?

I guess my point here is that people are silly. (Nice conclusion, self.)

I think I need this hankie.

Via DesignGlut.

A few things...

1. I am very intrigued by the Space Bat hoopla. Here is NASA's official release.
Here is a tribute:



2. Today at work I asked my coworkers if it is always like this, one damn thing after another. You see, I graduated from college shortly after September 11th and I had always assumed that this is simply how things always are. My colleagues assured me that no, things have really just been truly shitty for the entirety of my adult life.

Bully.

At the start of the year I made this promise to myself that things would be better this year. And they aren't. I haven't been a better friend or daughter. I have only been a better worker by necessity. I haven't been happier, despite an appalling amount of effort in this regard. In fact, I really feel that I have bitched more in the last three months than the last ten years combined.

But maybe it isn't because I'm not trying hard enough. Maybe it is just that things are sucking a bit. So here it is:
I hereby officially acknowledge that things SUCK right now- and that it is ok, because I am here to facilitate the awesome. I will not be discouraged by the sucking. I am redoubling my efforts to be awesome. Things are going to get better through my SHEER FORCE OF WILL.

Do not worry. Things can always get worse. And fuck it, once you hit the bottom, there is no place to go but up.

If you need assistance with locating awesome, you know where to find me. If the economy has you whipped and crying, I am here and I HAVE COOKIES. If you're laid off and lonely, I have cable and a couch.

So, consider yourself on notice, Universe. Things have been worse, things will get better, and no matter what you do, universe, I will be lurking to Pollyanna the ever living hell right out of you.


3. Did you know that fish and submarines control their buoyancy in the same way? Now I know this because one of my fish is lethargically lounging on the bottom and swimming frantically, while gasping pitifully then sinks like a rock.
I went to the good pet store in Kirkland and inquired as to whether he needed a little fishy Xanax or something and guy told me that Steve (the fish) has a swim bladder problem and to buy my fish shrimp and feed them cooked peas. So now my fish ($10 for all four) are being fed shrimp and peas (over $10), like they are at the fucking Red Lobster.
In other news, normal families can't afford shrimp and peas, so those mopey little bastards better cross their fins that I don't get RIF'd or the gravy train is not coming to Fishville anymore.

It's Canadian week at Mr. & Ms. Pepperoni Pizza's!

What is cutier than a kitten?

Anderson Cooper.



Amazing clip about why Anderson (though a Vanderbilt)sleeps on his childhood mattress.

Perspective

Dear Reader(s),

I am in a quandary and would like your opinion on what I should do.

This afternoon I went to my boss to arrange two sets of vacation days, one week in the late spring/summer and 2 days next week. Basically my boss told me that I would need to ask my coworker who doesn’t ever ask me for help, whether or not I can go on vacation because my coworker may want my help. This same coworker never goes on vacation because “her schedule doesn’t allow for it” (and doesn’t like to vacation, but wants to claim that she can’t go because she is busy) is now in control of whether or not I get to go on vacation. This would not have been a horrible problem if following this conversation my boss had not segued into a lecture about how this coworker doesn’t feel like I’m willing to help and that is why she doesn’t ask. (Said in such a disgusted tone that is meant to illicit shame.)

Now let me tell you that this coworker likes to stretch every project into the Trail of Tears and cannot hand off a project without explaining in extreme detail how it is to be done (including where I should collate papers- not how, or in what order- but what specific location I should stand in while putting together some instruction manuals for a meeting). Now consider me, with the grout bleaching, obsessive fish keeping, use of Excel to organize cookie recipe ingredients, if I say you are an over-obsessive control freak, you are a CRAZY over-obsessive control freak. Furthermore my boss told me that the coworker is making too much in overtime and we can’t afford it, so I have to help.

I objected that I am not unwilling to help, but rather am never asked. My boss then gave me an example where coworker asked me to help and I said “no”. Of course coworker didn’t mention to our boss how it actually happened. (On a Thursday she seemed stressed and I asked her if she needed help, as I had plenty of time, and she said she would “let me know”. I hear nothing until the following Thursday when she approaches me and says she would like my help now. I explained to her that I was busy prepping for the 200 person seminar I was facilitating the next morning (my boss can’t get things done until the last minute, so I am stuck doing things last minute as a consequence), which coworker herself was also attending and that after the 200 person seminar I had promised to help someone else in another department with a project, so I couldn’t help. She said that was fine and she would hire a temp to do it. That is not really the same as asking for help and being told “no”.)

So, I explain to my boss that I don’t think that coworker wants my help because she always wants to do everything herself and that her not asking me for help and assuming I don’t want to or am unwilling to help is crazy.

So my boss gets mad and tells me that she will not get in the middle of a feud between myself and coworker (a feud I had no idea existed until 3 this afternoon), and that shouldn’t I admit that we are both a little wrong.

My answer was “no”. I am not a little wrong. It is not part of my job to chase people around asking for projects. It is the onus of the person who needs help to ask for it. Nobody wants extra work, but I am not the sort of person who refuses to help because it will suck. I am paid to be here 8 hours a day and none of my work is cherries and chocolate so, what do I care. I tried to tell my boss that I cannot control my coworker’s perceptions and that any time I am having a slow period I always make a point to make sure that none of the 3 people I work with need help before I start working on backlogged paperwork, or my pet projects.

I have since received three emails that clearly showed that since 3, my boss thinks that I am somehow magically transformed into a good for nothing ne’r do well. I am upset that my friend sold me down river either because she needs to control every aspect of everything, or for the massive amounts of overtime money. I’m upset that my boss would believe that I refused work. And honestly, we’re having layoffs and I need everyone to know that I work really hard, and that the work I do is important and gets done.

So what do you think I should do:

1. Go to coworker (who BTW I actually hang out with outside of work) and tell her that our boss said that she doesn’t feel like she can ask for help and figure out if she really said that I was too busy to help rather than unwilling to help. Then get the three of us together and talk about this.

2. Meet again with my boss and try harder to explain my situation and how I feel unsupported and how there is no feud, but even if there was, taking the position that I am the bad guy is not ok.

3. Some other option you suggest.


Update: My boss came to me this morning and apologized for not reacting properly yesterday. Having gone home and thought about it she realized that was not possibly true. Today she met with coworker, then I met with coworker and it seems as though there was some sort of misunderstanding. So I am willing to let the whole thing go. And all is well. (Which is good, as I was about to adopt a scorched earth policy at the office, which sounds like it would be a lot of additional work.)

A-MAZING.

UPDATE! By the way, I guess not everyone is a complete loser like me, but just so you know the young man in the video is Alfonso Ribeirbo who played Carlton Banks on The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

UPDATE 2! By which I mean I knew, but others didn't. I am the queen of bad TV.

Should have gone to Berkeley

Berkeley's entry to the "What is Nano" video contest being held by The American Chemical Society.Via BoingBoing.

Can't stop finding this AWESOME

So can we talk about Roman Polanski?

He’s been the news lately and I just want to say my peace:

I don’t care what the new documentary implies; Roman Polanski is not a victim. Roman Polanski is a rapist and a fugitive from justice.

1. Polanski violated the sacred trust between adults and children. A 13 year old NEVER has the ability to consent to a sex act. Polanski knew and admitted under oath that he knew she was 13. There is no further excuse. The reason we have statutory rape laws is to prevent adults from exerting their greater power physically, emotionally, or mentally over a child. (And don’t even get me started, but when you plea to statutory rape, there is probably a standard rape charge looking pretty feasible.)

2. Polanski drugged the 13 year old child before raping her. No one can consent after being drugged. Also, he gave a 13 year old girl champagne and Quaaludes. Is that not a big enough problem on its own?

3. She said “no” numerous times. There is not, can not, and should not be a requirement to physically repel someone from your person.

4. He took topless pictures of a 13 year old girl. A 13 year old girl is not capable of the forethought required to prevent her from making decisions she would late regret. There is a reason that child porn is illegal.

5. Polanski’s “defense” team attempted to negate the need for consent by citing that she may not have been a virgin at the time, "She was not unresponsive", and that she was a young woman trying to get ahead by sleeping with Polanski. (Yea, she got really far ahead by being raped and actually stepping forward.) I don’t care if she just came out of a Thai sex show, she was 13 and she said no. Painting the victim as a prostitute who enjoyed the activity is disgusting to the highest degree. No victim is to blame for their rape. Once in a while they may not have done any favors for themselves, but they did no wrong. Furthermore, see above where I mention that having sex with a child is rape even if they want it.

I don’t give a shit that Polanski’s wife was murdered and I don’t care that he survived the holocaust. You are never allowed to have sex with children, you are never allowed to have sex with people who say “no”, and you are never allowed to just skip town in the middle of a legal case.

I can’t understand where anyone is going with this. Polanski is a first degree criminal scumbag.

As far as I’m concerned Roman Polanski is hopefully going to jail, then (and let it be shortly thereafter) going to a special place in hell.

There is an interesting review of the recent documentary on Polanski, Wanted & Desired, up at Salon.

One of the thoughts so well expressed by the author was:

The movie tries to drum up sympathy for Polanski by playing up the media firestorm he was at the center of; but that's Polanski's fault, too. (Before they rape children, celebrities should consider how the media attention sure to result will have adverse consequences for their victims, as well as themselves.)

Things looking up!

Today I got TWO (2!!) presents at work!

1. A large "Q" made out of wood and painted pretty for my cubical. Yay! A "Q"! That is exciting stuff. I will hang it next to my Shia LeBeouf collection!

2. Fancy smelling soap and a book of zenlike "Hawaiian Proverbs". Yay soap! Sometimes I smell funny, so that should work out awesome. Furthermore, I have been chasing zen. I have not read the book yet, but keep your fingers crossed that it will call for a drink with a tiny umbrella and a strong resemblance to Carmen Miranda's hat.

Also, today was MAGIC DAY: Girl Scout cookies arrived at the office.

AND everyone was envious of the delicious lunch I had made and brought.

On the downside, the babysitting kids let me know that my juggling needs A LOT of work. Perhaps when I am unemployed I will have plenty of time to practice. (Zing!) (Awwwwww nuts.)

New Rule!

Can only update SUC while eating ice cream directly from the container.

CHECK.

Things have been slightly less than ideal over here in SUC-land, but I am regaining my equilibrium by counting my blessings and chasing my zen. (By which I mean going to bed at 8 and eating a lot of ice cream.)

"News":
1. My mom and Shia LaBeouf have the same birthday. My mother posted it on her wall. "Her wall?", you ask. Oh yes, her wall, because my mother has facebook friended me.

2. A while ago I ordered the magazine Everyday Food (Martha Stewart's magazine for people who like to cook but also have lives) and I have made it my goal to make at least 2 recipes from every issue. Jan/Feb's magazine had a recipe for Turkey Paprikesh and it was AWESOME. (Though instead of just using sweet paprika, I used a combination of sweet, smoked, and hot. Which gave me some interesting ideas for a new BBQ rub, I want to experiment with.) Next I think I will try either Sweet and Sour Pork Stir Fry or the Dijon Potato Salad. (Yes, this is exciting to me. This is because I am BORING, but if you can live with that, you can come over and eat at my house.) If anyone has any back issues of Everyday Food sitting around the house, I will take those off your hands.

3. I saw Coraline with my cousin and some friends and while the 3D was cool, OMG it hurt my sensitive peepers! I have never had to look through glasses before and it sucked. (Yes, I know, call me a waaaaaambulance.) That being said the movie was AWESOME. And creepy. Creepy as in when the movie really got dark many children in the theater started crying and maybe also some older persons may have hunched over in their seat and clutched dramatically at their 14 year old cousin, but then played it off like they were not freaked out at all because they are an adult and this is a claymated movie.
Additionally, the movie features numerous scotty dogs, which really reminded me of certian relatives (Hi, Gram Cracker!) who may own a lot of small bearded dogs.

4. I see 8 o'clock is rappidly approaching, which if you are keeping track, is my new bed time. So good night. If I hustle I might just be able to brush my teeth and get into bed on time.

RECAP:
Waaaa waaa waaaa. Things suck.
Blah blah blah ice cream.
Quiana + Shia meant for each other.
Also Facebook = tool meant to ruin EVERYTHING.
I am boring. Shameless begging.
Coraline = Awesome and a little bit scary if you are a wussy von wusserton.
I am boring/old.

Bonus Night Cap:

A week so bad that...

I'm having ice cream for lunch.

Yes, veggie loving, excel abusing, must have a balanced meal me had a fry-up for breakfast with Kim and now has had ice cream for lunch. But the ice cream was all natural and local. And I had a multi-vitamin. And ice cream contains milk and fruit. So, you know, I think we're all good here.

Almost made me cry.

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

Because nobody asked for it...

And because I believe it to be necessary for you to watch this video of a baby pig. Maybe several times. While eating a cookie. And feeling sorry for yourself.


What, just me? Fine. Enjoy it anyway.


Kingsford Goes to the Beach - Funny video clips are a click away

Stuff & Things

1. As I had been suspecting, another round of layoffs is eminent. Hooray! Stay tuned to find out if I will be turning tricks in mere months! (Kidding, Grandma! (I hope.))

2. The dog I'm dog sitting for chewed his toe nail off. In other news, HOLY SHIT, WHERE DID YOUR TOE NAIL GO, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, DOG? I CAN'T WATCH BIG BANG THEORY WITHOUT YOU MAIMING AN APPENDAGE? QUIT CHEWING ON YOUR FOOT. IT IS FILTHY!!

3. My week is the suck. Looking greatly forward to ricockulous numbers of meetings! yay!

4. Nannerpus: breakfast I would greatly enjoy. Can't stop thinking about this.



5. Newest crush: Philippe Cousteau.

I believe the appropriate word for this is...

MURRRRRRRRRR.

Instead of Blogging I...

-Watched Death Race
-Caught up on my Google Reader
-Caught up on the Tivo, then fell behind again
-Read some books
-Had my nails done
-Went to Canada
-Set the Tivo to record new show awesomeness
-Started working on a ridiculous new plan
-Attempted to hook up my exercise bike only to find the cord is missing AGAIN (may I mention that I just ordered that new cord and placed it in a specific drawer so it would not get lost and now it is gone.)
-Searched the house for things to throw out (promise I didn't throw out the cord)
-Pulled all the good ideas out of all my back issues of Martha Stewart Living, Gourmet, Fine Living, Food and Wine, and marked up my Everyday Food

So now, with all of that out of the way, I think I should get back to having things to say on the internets.

Thing 1: Jim and I went to Video Games Live at the Paramount. The last time I have smelled a geek funk that bad was when Steve, Addy, and I went to see Aqua Teen Hunger Force the night it opened. VGL was pretty kick ass, in spite of the odor and the shushing I had to undertake. (Seriously, who pays that much money to go to the symphony and then talks through the whole thing?)

Thing 2: I just watched Death Race (see above) and for some reason (insanity?) had expected more stuff to happen than driving in circles and shooting. Would you like to see Jason Statham not fight Tyrese? Would you like to watch cars drive in circles and sometimes blow up? Yes?! Well go watch the commercial and save yourself the wasted time.

Thing 3: This morning I arrived at the meeting my boss was facilitating to make sure that all was hunky dory. The caterers had just delivered the coffee and when I walk in, this woman is shaking the "CAUTION: HOT WATER" dispenser right above her crotch and when I inquired as to what she was doing she explained that the water wouldn't come out. All over the table in front of her was steaming hot water. I leaned over and looked at the dispenser and flipped the switch next to the spout to "open". Said the nearly crotch scorched woman, "Well that works much better." Than shaking a decades old, poorly sealed, scalding hot water pump pitcher over your lady bits? Yea, guess so.

Thing 4: On Tuesday I attended a really excellent National Geographic Live! Lecture about ants, frogs, and snakes. If you have ever had any interest in attending one of these lectures, this is the year. Usually these sell out, but the economic crisis has apparently hit the Live! series and there are still seats available.
I look forward to these all year, they are pretty awesome. If you are also interested in attending, tickets are available and only $15-$20.

Thing 5: Jon Hamm is ADORABLE and pretty witty. Watch this video snippet of his interview with Conan. Trust me.

Delusions, Adorable Delusions

Today as I was leaving the local library two girls in their early teens bounced passed. I overheard one saying to the other, "Last time I was here there was a really cute guy. I hope he's here today!!"

She does not yet know that there are no cute guys at the library.

EVER.

What she saw was a manrage.

Very sad.

Jim Parsons = Adorable

Stupid life, interupting blogging schedule!

Sorry all, I've been really busy.

I promise to resume blogging soon. In the meantime, please prepare yourself for a Bacon Explosion!

Kaboom!

Cutest Thing Ever

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Daniel Craig

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

I don't believe you.

This evening, after finding a disappointing lack of fish themed party decor, Jim and I decided to make our own using plastic fish.

At the toy store we asked for help finding plastic fish and the employee explained that they are not in season.

What? Plastic fish have breeding seasons do they? Children only have interest in fish toys when they themselves are under water? What does that mean?

In other news, all the clearanced dolls were black. I shit you not.

New Post at Spoilers SUC

In which I review three quarters of the novel Love in the Time of Cholera.

Romance for women who don't like themselves very much, now reviewed with spoilers at Spoilers SUC.

Teeny Weaeny World

Yesterday I found out that the major wreck on Highway 2 on Christmas eve that resulted in the road closure which delayed my consumption of Christmas dinner by well over an hour occurred when a dear friend's brother-in-law's truck was struck by a jeep.

Same said brother-in-law was headed from the general vicinity of my granny's house (location of dinner) to 4 blocks from my house to attend Christmas dinner at his mother's house.

Crazy.

Neil DeGrasse Tyson is AWESOME

More with the OCD.

Sooooooooo below is my Spending Chart (Spending by Budget Area shown in Percentage of Total Spending) from 2008. Yes, I am obsessive, but it is nice to see everything all laid out.





















I track, you know, everything.

















I used to keep crazy charts to track dating, particular purchases like socks or underwear and other interesting things, but I have fallen out of the habit. Or at least thought I had.

At a National Geographic Lecture I learned that the average American consumes 3 burgers and 4 batches of fries a week. This, of course, prompted me to to to wonder who is eating all of my burgers and throwing the average off. This year I have decided to track my burger and fry consumption. However, I have now run into technicalities that are confusing for me:

1. What constitutes a "burger"? Does a chicken burger count? What is the difference between a chicken sandwich and a chicken burger? Ground meat? Hamburger bun? I had a grilled chicken breast on ciabatta with balsamic vinegar, basil, and mozzarella on Sunday, does that count?

I have reason to believe that the statistic referred to the traditional cheeseburger as the discussion had to do with the carbon footprint of the burger which explicitly took cattle consumption into account. But am I being disingenuous if I don't count a chicken sandwich?

2. Do I have to count the few fries I stole from Steve at lunch last Sunday? Does this depend on number of fries, or is it just straight up number of instances of fry consumption? What if I bake potato wedges? They're not technically fried... so?

Leave me a comment with your opinions on my quandaries.

OCD + Goldfish = Crazy Fishlady

Steve is awesome and surprised me with a lovely fish tank for Christmas and on Sunday we went on the Great Fish Accoutrement Hunt.

We started at Petco and after determining that yes, this was indeed the best tank, I read several pamphlets on fish care, bought a net and thermometer and left*. Next we hit up a Petsmart where we bought NOTHING because nothing met my stringent standards for fish décor. Finally we went to The Fish Store on Roosevelt where I found gravel (disco style), and a color coordinating castle (every fish needs a castle), and a fake plant (that matches both the castle and plant, because why the hell not if you’re buying a fake plant anyway).

Then I got home and read the book that came with the aquarium and realized I needed 2 buckets, maybe a timer for the light, the tank did not come with tap water purifier (though the box said it did), the plant is probably too tall, and I may or may not have enough gravel.

So I went to Petsmart and bought a new plant and a bottle of tap water purifier. Then went to Lowe’s for buckets.

Yesterday my roommate went to The Fish Store and picked up more rocks for me because he is awesome. After dinner I started setting up the aquarium and realized I needed an additional plant to make the whole thing look less sparse.

So we went to go to Petco again but got sidetracked at Pier 1 where the roommate bought a lamp, which almost did not fit in my car and necessitated that I’m-driving-a-car-with-a-lamp-shoved-through-it-at-a-jaunty-angle sort of driving. Then went to a different Pier 1 for additional lamps and ended up at the Petco in Everett, where I bought a new plant and checked out all of their accouterments (and fish, which BTW looked really healthy and clean- more than at any store I have been in before). At home Jim and I rearranged the furniture and set up the aquarium in the best possible location as noted in the now numerous sources I had researched. After rearranging the contents of the tank a few times while it was full of water, it is finally ready for fish.

Next I researched fish and determined that I can probably fit between 3 and 5 fish in there or a whole bunch of little guys. I also looked at very expensive bettas on the internet, but I shouldn’t pay 30 for a single fish that will kill any other fish I put with it leaving only smooshy fish bits.**

So now all I have to do is find a reputable dealer to assist me in finding 3-5 roughly equally sized, aggression compatible fish that eat the same food, and can live in water roughly between 64-68 degrees. And I should buy an extra filter (JIC), a water testing kit to balance ammonia and nitrites, and food. Fish probably would like food most of all.

This is why people with OCD should not own aquariums. Or perhaps the reverse is exactly the case as I assume that my obsessing will greatly increase the joy and lifespan of my finned friends.

Although, when I was 5 or so I pitched a quarter into a glass at the fair and won a tiny goldfish that grew to 4 inches and lived nearly 6 years, in a glass bowl with nothing but neon pink rocks. I cannot testify to this but I assume that 5 year Quiana was not terribly diligent at feeding him and cleaning the bowl, so perhaps fish keeping is not rocket science.



* I should mention at this juncture that Steve and I found a koi that looks as much like Hitler as a fish could possibly look. A dark black patch on his head and a perfect little mustache. I am terribly disappointed to find out that my tank isn’t large enough to even keep a baby koi. So no Fishler for me.

**Every resource I have checked suggests getting a fragile cheap fish and placing it in the tank to make sure that the tank is ok for the other fish. Does this seem unethical to anyone else? While I eat meat, and happily wear leather, I can’t in good conscience kill any animal unless I have good reason. (Except spiders. Spiders can kiss it.) So maybe I should just get one fish to start with. But a keeper fish. Not some disposable fish. And just keep my fingers crossed?

Puppedential Debate = Sheer Genius

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Road to the Doghouse - Puppedential Debate

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

My nephew, almost nearly the size of a soda bottle.

Did Poncho lose his shirt? Does he know his evil sister put his nipple on the internet? What the hell is Faygo?

When will this cavalcade of mysteries end?!

Simple.

Trying to explain the economic downturn to my coworkers is so frustrating. For a bunch of fairly bright people, they are not deep thinkers.

Their explanation of the economic downturn.
1. Banks offer loans to people who cannot possibly pay them off.
2. Now we all have no money. :(

Trying to explain how lenders buy and sell loans and how insurance works is a waste of time. Because their explanation sounds so simple, they are happy to follow it. This worked well with their political opinions too:

1. Sarah Pallin is dumb. HUH HUH HUH.

2. Voting for Obama means vothing for not-Bush.

If only everything was this simple.

On being a jerk.

Lately I've had trouble with sleeping. I will be tantalizingly close to asleep when, I'm falling! I flail in bed, safe and sound.

Or I'll be sleeping and then whoomp! I've slipped on a banana peel.

This is apparently called a Hypnic Jerk. Scientists are not sure why this happens but it happens most frequently when you have irregular sleep patterns... such as dog sitting in stranger's houses, or staying up too late to finish up that last episode of Dr. Who.

I guess the entire point of this post is that I am clumsy, even in my sleep.

And that, my friends is my awesome story about sleeping.

McDonalds, you rock the crazy.

Today I ordered an Egg McMuffin and a chocolate milk and for 2 cents LESS I could have had a hashbrown too.

Thanks, but no. I will pay McDonalds 2 cents and save myself 140 calories (72 of which are from fat).

Tim Tams at Target NOW.

Tim Tams are available through March at Target!

Yay!

Kiss it, 2008!

I am unreasonably excited about the demise of 2008. I have not been particularly pleased with this year. It has just pretty much sucked. Everyone I know was in danger of losing their jobs (including me) and many did. It was an ugly political year in which things were said, and not just by the candidates, that made me unhappy and uncomfortable. Watching the world economy yo-yo all over the place made me worry about my future. There were big adjustments in my personal life, which are mostly fine now, but greatly contributed to a year of over-all unpredictable scariness.

It also snowed like a mother-fuck, which did not help.

I did make some new friends, but 2008 saw vast changes in my relationships with current friends. And to quote the immortal Garth, "We fear change."

There will likely be big changes in 2009. But it is my fondest hope that rather than being crippled with two months of anxiety induced hermitage, I will be able to control the new directions in my life.

I'm hoping that 2009 will bring a new plan. A carefully thought out, well graphed plan, possibly utilizing Excel. With the end of my student loans this year, comes the end of my excuses for not just dropping everything and moving to Spain. Or going back to school. Or joining the circus. By the end of 2009 I won't owe anyone anything.

In 2009 perhaps all the blooming hope for my future will inspire me to do the opposite of what I did this year in my personal life (neglect, shut out, and generally weaken friendships) and instead grow to be a better friend. I hope that this year I will have the courage to not push people away.

2009 will by my first full year as an auntie. I hope that it will also be my first full year as a sister. I hope next year I can forgive myself for not being the sister I should have been the previous 19.

This year I want to be better, do better, dream bigger. Be a better friend, be a better child, be a better worker, and care more about being better.

I do not want a vanilla new year. I want a big delicious sundae new year. With everything on it. I want a 2009 so great that it completely obliterates the memory of 2008 with sheer awesomeness.

I know this sounds resolutiony. But this is not my resolution. My resolution, like that of all women between 25 and dead, is to loose some weight. But my plan is to be better. To live better.

So enjoy the last days of 2008 (as much as possible). I will spend them planning, scheming, and perhaps graphing to prepare myself for a better year and another step into a better future.

Thanks for reading, and a preemptive Happy New Year.

Ho ho ho.

Merry Christmas all! Sorry I've been a Christmas blogging slacker!

I hope you all have safe and lovely holidays!

Stupid frozen water!

Do I get extra credit for going to work today?

I should!

There were only 20 people there.

No? No extra credit? Fine. Here, you watch this terrifying Japanese footage of a bioluminescent deep-sea siphonophore.

Good luck trying to sleep, suckers.

Ponchito is worrisomely tiny.

Doctors say he should be fine, but he is so little and has to stay at the hospital till April.



















So far today:
- a friend needed me to watch her kids while she was in the emergency room
- a friend needed to be rescued from the airport
- my brother is father to a 1 lb 11 oz baby two months premature a thousand miles away

I cannot help my brother, I can't even get out of my driveway.

I feel absolutely impotent.

Ponchito has arrived.

My brother's baby was born prematurely due to a medical issue (apparently not too serious) and I am thousands of miles away and up to my shins in snow.

Jayce Anthony (or maybe Anthony Jayce- the kids are still sorting it out) was born earlier this morning.

Other famous JCs include Julius Caesar and Jesus Christ.

In other news, I am just pleased that they didn't really name him Ponchito.

I guess I am officially that crummy auntie that lives too far away and never calls. I guess I should mail them something noisy.

Update: Anthony Jayce.

Kinda Good Kinda Bad

Today I found out that I am unlikely to be laid off at the end of the fiscal year. Something that looked very very likely a few weeks ago.

I didn't mention it because I don't like to whinge. And I have to admit that there was a tiny bit of me that was nervously excited about fate doing what I have long considered doing. I love my coworkers and as jobs go, mine is not bad. I can't say I'm unhappy.

I would like something more challenging and I'm ashamed to say that I would like to get paid more. (Although I don't know why. I would just waste the money on clothes and expensive cooking gadgets. And maybe a new car.)

The key problem is just that I can't think of another thing I would like to do. I've always been a modest dreamer, and I hate to say it, but I am just so grateful that my life has gone this miraculously well so far that it is even hard for me to think of things that could be better.

Sometimes being happy gets in the way.

Without a plan for something greater I could never quit my job, but if my job were to disappear it would be freeing. (Though I do not have the savings to bear the expense.)

Anyway, so I am happy/sad, but mostly happy and who could ask for more?

So can we talk?

About how I am a terrible person?

Great.

So I'm watching these Christmas specials and the anti-communist propaganda is hilarious.
No toys! The bad guys are always opposed to objects, but then Santa comes and brings them flashy stuff and they are liberated. You know guys, stuff is the key to happiness!

How silly.

Additionally, if Santa started out as just some guy who shows up in town with a bag of toys, which he gives to children, if they sit on his lap. I would kick that guy's ass and leave him at the edge of the road out of town. Frontier justice. Yeehaw!

In short, I think I am thinking too hard about these shows.

Burgermeister Meisterburger

So, while not snowed in, I'm scared of leaving the house and getting snowed out, so I've been e-commuting today. I made homemade buttermilk pancakes this morning, and since then I've been watching Tivo'd Christmas specials and filling out tedious affidavits all day.

(Christmas specials viewed so far this season: Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer 1 & 2, Life and Adventures of Santa Claus, Garfield Christmas Special, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Twas the Night Before Christmas, Nestor the Long Eared Christmas Donkey, and the Real Ghostbusters Christmas Special.)

(On the Tivo still, Mickey's Christmas Carol, Muppet's Letters to Santa, Charlie Brown Christmas, Miser Brothers' Christmas, Olive the Other Reindeer, the Year without Santa Claus, Winnie the Pooh and Christmas too, Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas, I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown!, and the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas.)

(I'm missing Frosty the Snowman, Emmet Otter, Muppet Family Christmas, Little Drummer Boy. :(

Anyway.

As it turns out, when nobody goes into the office and emails me to ask for things, there is very little for me to do, which is making me feel appallingly slackery.

I guess if I were in the office I would simply be working on the same affidavits, so I shouldn't complain.

In other not-news, my remaining plans for the day:
Christmas Jello
Lemon Bars
A bubble bath
Comics
Muppet Christmas Carol
Scrooged
And something girly as yet to be determined

It is beautiful outside. I'm nice and warm.

I hope you are all safe and warm today too.

Muppet Videos to Prepare you for Tomorrow

Letters to Santa, be there or be square. Tomorrow.

Dear Workplace,

Please do not believe that because I (1) love Christmas and (2) am in a slow work week that I would like to organize a last-minute divisional potluck.

You see, coworkers, a potluck cannot occur at the last minute. I don't know about you, but I have every remaining moment of free time prior to Christmas double scheduled and the remaining time I plan to devote to:
1. making cookies for people I don't hate
2. drinking heavily and watching the 27 Christmas specials I have painstakingly Tivo'd
3. Repeating zen mantras to get me through the holidays

Furthermore you don't understand potlucks. A potluck is where people cook (NOT buy something from the QFC deli). Where potlucking responsibilities are carefully planned out so that the appropriate amount and type of food is procured and cooked AT HOME. Otherwise you have cake on the breakroom counter for over a week. (Do not act like you don't know what I'm talking about. This morning I threw out some crappy store bought cake from last TUESDAY.)

Additionally, I need time to prepare for events where I have to pretend to have fun. It takes HOURS of time in front of a mirror practicing appropriate facial expressions for responses to such conversational topics as:
-Useless single men you know (elbow eh eh eh)
-Unresearched political beliefs
-Your pets and the hi-larious things they do
-Why things now are not as awesome as twenty years ago
-Your children, any topic, but for example pooping or how they pronounce various words
-The da Vinci Code, Harry Potter, Twilight, or whatever book fad is striking those who don't read for fun

Your alternate plan during the economic downturn is to go to a fancy restaurant where we will each buy our own lunch. Thanks, superiors who make 2-4 times what I make, I would love to go to a seafood restaurant (blech) and pay $25 for salmon and sit with people I'm forced to pretend to like 40 hours a week. Being coerced to attend and pay for holiday events makes me filled with Ho Ho Holiday Spirit!

Things I would rather do than chase you around with a potluck sign in sheet:
1. Sex with Carrot Top.
2. Spider bathing.
3. Actual death by chocolate.

So to conclude, BA HUMBUG. (But only at work, at home it is all, let's make rum balls and watch Nestor the Long Eared Christmas Donkey.)

Two Thumbs Up

It is not every day when another driver rolls down their window and yells "Nice driving!" and doesn't really mean, "I hope you get that flesh eating bacteria and die, Asshole!", but today was my day.

Kim and I had been looking forward to a trip to the I-District all week and as the nearest freeway entrance is at the bottom of a very icy very steep hill I sensibly decided to take a more flat route to the highway.

Everything was hunkie dorrie till we came to a downward slope and the car in front of me thought, "Dur dur dur I'd better hit my breaks." Which sent him sliding towards the curb, where he ricocheted off and careened straight at me. Seeing this caused me to swerve and break, sliding elegantly into the opposing lane, then back at the curb, then all the way over and all the way back to the curb, finally gaining control as the car behind me slid with greater speed (stupid stupid stupid) toward our car until it smashed into the curb and got lodged there.

We gently pulled into the turn lane and as we waited to take the left an SUV pulled along side us and a smiling man leaned out his window, gave us the double thumbs up and yelled "Nice driving!" waved and drove away.

Thanks fellow drivers for the award for not being a total dumbass, it was an honor just to be nominated. I'd also like to give a shout out to Kim for staying absolutely silent through the whole episode, unlike most of my friends (looking at you, Steve) who would have squeeled like Swiss school girls.

Blardy Blar Blar

I feel as though I should make some sort of comment. Since I haven't been good at updating lately.

Don't have much, because things are awesome.

My mom was laid off and then got a job. So that is a big thumbs up.

I got surprise presents today. (Yay Angie!)

Christmas is shaping up nicely. I haven't started cookies really, but I am confident cookies will happen to a sufficient extent. Presents wrapped. (check!) House decorated sufficiently enough to make the neighbors look lame. (check!) Holiday cheer locked down against all odds. (check, check, checkety check!)

I just feel very content. I hope you guys are doing well too.

Amusements.

There is a new Muppet Christmas Special this year, Letters to Santa. 12/17 on NBC. Cute music video promotion for the special:



The Proposal. New rom-com I will undoubtedly secretly view and enjoy.

Best ever use of internet: Baker Street/Turkish Walrus Mashup.

Just Pondering

Lately I've had to explain to people why a Christian woman (not me) might not want to date a particular friend of mine. I think a lot of people want to believe that people don't date outside their religions becase they are prejudiced.

I don't know about you, but when someone wants to be mine I would appreciate it if they didn't think my life view was a deluded attempt to invent scenarios to avoid the finality of death. I'd hope that the person I would want to be with would respect my beliefs. I'm not saying that not sharing my beliefs is equivalent to not respecting them, but when I need to make a team to face the unpredictability of life, I would like someone who has the same GM. You know what I mean?

I got nuthin. You know, title-wise.

But here goes the post!

Amusing bacon commercial:



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Hey, just a reminder buying coke kills children. No kidding. Thanks Washington Post!

------

In other news, Jim and I cut down a tree at what Jeanine described as "Charlie Brown's Tree Farm". And it was awesome. Our tree could kick your tree's ass. I just thought that you might want to know that.

That is all.

Links- now with exposed naughty bits.

3 links of interest today:

1. Via Jezebel- Anne Hathaway was on the Daily Show yesterday and confessed to her no-longer secret crush on John Stewart. Why does Stewart always seem unbelieving that women find him attractive?

2. Via io9- John Barrowman apparently exposed himself on the BBC. Now I'm not into junk viewing myself, but apparently this can be viewed by following some link on the article.

3. Also via io9- Guillermo Del Toro is directing a new Roald Dahl's The Witches (easily one of my favorite/most terrifying childhood books). Now I will be edge-of-seat style waiting. (Yay!)

Interesting article in NYT last week.

Netflix is offering one million dollars to anyone who can improve their movie recommendation engine by 10% or more.

Thank God, because some times Netflix recommends things that are not OK. (Really, you think I want to watch "Expelled: No Inteligence Allowed"? Netflix, words hurt.)

Read all about it at NYT.

Dean Kamen, you minx!

Are you trying to impress me?

Now North Dumpling Island is energy self-sufficient? Le sigh. You know, you do not have to work so hard to win my affections. You had me at AutoSyringe.

(SUC- for all your obsessive crushes on supergenius related needs.)

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hopefully things are going splendidly for all today.

This year I am thankful for:
1. Having a job. I'm very blessed to not have been laid off.
2. Having a family that loves me. (Even if sometimes I think that they are trying to kill me by annoying me to death.)
3. Good friends, and lots of them. (Even if some of them deserve a nice face punching lately.)
4. NKOTB.

In Thanksgiving news, here is a lengthy article about the not-so-appetizing Thanksgiving food on the Space Station. They say it is kind of gross, but I think in this case it is location, location, location. Dude, you guys are eating rehydrated yams, but you are eating them IN SPACE. My food will be amply delicious, but I will be eating it sandwiched between my great grandma and 13 year old cousin who eats like the Beast in Disney's Beaty & The Beast, before he learned to use flatware.

In non-thanksgiving news:

Best article title today: Japan Polar Bear Mating Stymied by Gender Mixup.
Not it for checking the gender on polar bears. Apparently long fur obscures their sex organs making it difficult to tell the gender of a polar bear (and one assumes the fact that they are 1500 pound killing machines does not help either). Although I think that when you go to breed polar bears, it helps to know what you are starting with.
("Author's" note: there is some bush joke in there somewhere, but I'm tired, so sorry about missing that.)

A brief article about the Tesla electric car. The car for wealthy nerds. *sigh* Why can't I be as wealthy as I am nerdy?
Answer: Not enough money available?

Meep!

I'm a little obsessed with sea creatures. I also am scared of drowning, being stung, etc. etc. (You know, sea creaturey things.

There is video at io9 of a rare (and creepy) Magnapinna. I've never heard of such a thing, but it is a [terrifying] squid.

Hopefully NOT the fickle hand of fate.

This morning as I groggily pushed my birth control pill from its protective bubble package it flew out as though propelled by numerous warp drives.
Pichooooo! it richocheteed off the planter, to the counter where it bounced off the counter and ploonk, right into the toilet.

I feel like to odds of this occurrence are something like 3 bazillion to 1. So I took tomorrow’s pill today and will continue along that path till the pack is done, but part of me can’t help but feel that I am somehow DOOMED.

Vampire Moths.

Yea, you heard me.

National Geographic has a brief video on Russian Blood Sucking Moths, wrote local blogger before keeling over and dying of sheer horror.

Nature= very scary/amazing stuff.

Awesome video from Discovery Science about a giant ant colony that scientists fill with cement to learn what it actually looks like.



It looks like AWESOME.

Thinking about nerdy stuff.

1. Spiders are loose in space and no doubt in the midst of negotiating our undoing with alien spiders. Read all about our eminent demise on i09.

2. Nature and robots distract each other, possibly delaying the naturepocolypse and robopocalypse.


3. Nerd creates Bike Hero.


4. There is a rumor of Tremors 5 aka Tremors: The Thunder From Down Under. Be still my b-movie heart!

5. Check out the Classic Tales Podcast for creepy story fun. It is good stuff! I think I should learn to read well aloud. That would be pretty spiffy.

Carrying deadly plagues makes me over emotional.

I'm saddened by the loss of 2 out of the 3 new shows I was watching, Valentine and My Own Worst Enemy. I think that it is a shame that they failed to promote then buried Valentine, which was the second most adorable thing on TV. I also think that it is a waste to have canceled My Own Worst Enemy, which I thought was very well made. I particularly enjoyed all the interesting questions that the show provoked. Who is he really working for and does it matter if the group is unethical if it is defending American "Ideals". Who is real? Or are both personalities real because they both exist?

So now the only new show I am watching is Fringe. I'm glad it is not being canceled because I enjoy it more with every new episode.

Which brings me two thoughts:
1. Someone is watching Knight Rider? Or rather enough people are watching Knight Rider that they aren't cancelling it. COME ON! Pushing Daises may be canceled and KNIGHT RIDER is still on the air? I call shenanigans.
2. Isn't expensive to create new shows? Wouldn't it have been cheaper to leave these two shows on the air? I'm just saying.
********
Perhaps to make up for stealing all the good TV, Haagen-Dazs has released a new flavor: Fleur de Sel Caramel Ice Cream. Yes caramel ice cream with a caramel ribbon, and small chocolate covered salted carmels. Oh HEAVEN. RAWR.
********
In other news, on the NKOTB CD, The Block, there is a song called "Sexify My Love" in which they rhyme 'concentrate', 'consumate', and 'conversate'. I have not yet decided if that is unbelievably awful or awesome. Also on The Block there is a song about convinving your lady friend to tape sex acts. I mean compared to current songs like anything by Usher that is not so bad. But parts where he says "Baby, I'm gonna make you a star" just sound so exploitative.

On the other other hand, I will (if there is any justice in the world) be rocking out to the numerous steps it would take to get to you, 'gur-ur-ur-url' in less than 4 days. Yay!

Your brains are safe for now...

maybe. Unless this is like in the movies when the victim rallies right before they die, then lurch back to life jaws a'snapp'n.

I seem to be recovering nicely from my brush with death. I know you were all deeply concerned.

I was quite worried because this Saturday is NKOTB Saturday. There will be unhealthy food, numerous cocktails, and ridiculous girlish shenanigans. I need to be at full Quiana power to handle this kind of excitement. Wait for pix! Teehee. Yay!

In other news I watched The Quantum of Solace, which I really liked. You should watch it too. Going to the movies yesterday made me just as exhausted as working for 8 hours today, which either says that I am recovering well OR that work is just butt-sitting.

Where was I going with this?

No idea whatsoever.

Recap:
1. Not dead.
2. NKOTB!
3. 007= good times.

And that was my awesome story about uhm... nothing.

Suck it, NaBloPoMo.

I'm sure that you have all figured it out. I am yet again ill. Quite ill. Darwin was wrong. If there was such a thing as natural selection I would have been de-selected because I am sick all the damn time. I fear I am a cull. Destined by Western justice to be cut off from the herd and made into deliciously tender and pitiful steaks.

Here are some observations from the crypt:

1. Came home from work very sick and fatigued and decided that a pb&j and a 14 hour nap were in order. Mixing mixing mixing my home-made jam, which had separated just a bit, when I hear/feel a smash/sploosh. I look down, the jar is in my hand. Look at the floor, the better part of a jar of jam is down there. (There being the oven door, cupboards, my pants, shoes, and the beige floor tiles with WHITE grout.) Apparently the bottom of the glass jar dropped right out, in a perfect hockey puck-esque whole and shattered on the ground. I then spent the next 45 minutes sniffling and cleaning everything in the kitchen of glass shard/strawberry jam. (That is the kind of jam you make for very bad people.)

2. Watched many (two a day) episodes of the show Las Vegas strictly because Tom Selleck is on that show. (OMG you guys, TOM SELLECK!) I cannot decide if this show is not that bad or if I am so acclimated to the sultery sounds of TS's voice that I think it is good.

3. My very kind roommate brought home a few comics from my box at The Comic Stop and after hungerly devouring them I had the most terrifying feverish nightmares you could possibly imagine. What better to give you good dreams than a potent mix of cold medicine, fever and The Walking Dead. Oh good times!

4. So I've missed something like 6 days of work over the last two weeks. I can't wait to get back to the office. It is going to be awesome. AWESOME.

5. Things I am not looking forward to:
- twenty 13 year old boys at robot club tomorrow am.
- twenty 13 year old boys at an extended by one hour robot club tomorrow am.
- leaving the house (not accomplished since Tuesday am)
- work

6. Things I am looking forward to:
-NKOTB
-NKOTB
-NKOTB
- Breathing through my nose

7. When I am sick all I want to do is sleep and shove delicious tortilla chips and cookies in my mouth. That is pretty much all I want to do. I will be 300 pounds when I regain my 'health'. (Still mysteriously single.)

8. My nose hurts.

That is all.

I know I sound nerdy;

Written early a.m. November 4th. Not published for reasons of attempting to stave off the cold I was catching through (literal) days of mostly sleep.

This is because I am a nerd.

It was very gratifying to be carefully guided to the ballot drop box at the library yesterday. To receive my stickery reward. (I love to see grown men parade around in their voter stickers like I once did with puffy Ewoks.)

It made me feel very happy.

This year I had an option to vote for a person of color for the office of the President of the United States of America. What an amazing thing, just a few decades from desegregation. Just a few years from venturing to Florida with my black ex-boyfriend and finding out, to my surprise, that Florida is in The South.

Being a mixed race person myself, I have encountered many awkward situations involving race, but I had never heard a over six foot tall nearly 30 year old man called “boy”. Never having heard someone say “nigger” (which I am almost too ashamed to write) outside of a TV or movie screen. It easy to forget or never even realize from New York and Seattle that there are still places like The South.

It feels like over night just enough people have evolved to understand what the truth is. Just enough to get a person of color on the ballot for a major party.

Maybe just enough to elect him? Enough to persuade the citizens of other countries and even our own that not everyone in America is stuffed with stale ideas and chubby morsels of hate like fat little worms?

I hope so.

I know that I’m not one of those die hard Obama fans (who will soon be gnashing their teeth when they find out that Obama is just a politician), but it is nice to have a little hope for a change. Not political or economic hope. Just a sliver of hope for Americans as people.