Thursday, January 29, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Stupid life, interupting blogging schedule!
Sorry all, I've been really busy.
I promise to resume blogging soon. In the meantime, please prepare yourself for a Bacon Explosion!
Kaboom!
I promise to resume blogging soon. In the meantime, please prepare yourself for a Bacon Explosion!
Kaboom!
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
I don't believe you.
This evening, after finding a disappointing lack of fish themed party decor, Jim and I decided to make our own using plastic fish.
At the toy store we asked for help finding plastic fish and the employee explained that they are not in season.
What? Plastic fish have breeding seasons do they? Children only have interest in fish toys when they themselves are under water? What does that mean?
In other news, all the clearanced dolls were black. I shit you not.
At the toy store we asked for help finding plastic fish and the employee explained that they are not in season.
What? Plastic fish have breeding seasons do they? Children only have interest in fish toys when they themselves are under water? What does that mean?
In other news, all the clearanced dolls were black. I shit you not.
Monday, January 12, 2009
New Post at Spoilers SUC
In which I review three quarters of the novel Love in the Time of Cholera.
Romance for women who don't like themselves very much, now reviewed with spoilers at Spoilers SUC.
Romance for women who don't like themselves very much, now reviewed with spoilers at Spoilers SUC.
Friday, January 09, 2009
Teeny Weaeny World
Yesterday I found out that the major wreck on Highway 2 on Christmas eve that resulted in the road closure which delayed my consumption of Christmas dinner by well over an hour occurred when a dear friend's brother-in-law's truck was struck by a jeep.
Same said brother-in-law was headed from the general vicinity of my granny's house (location of dinner) to 4 blocks from my house to attend Christmas dinner at his mother's house.
Crazy.
Same said brother-in-law was headed from the general vicinity of my granny's house (location of dinner) to 4 blocks from my house to attend Christmas dinner at his mother's house.
Crazy.
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
More with the OCD.
Sooooooooo below is my Spending Chart (Spending by Budget Area shown in Percentage of Total Spending) from 2008. Yes, I am obsessive, but it is nice to see everything all laid out.
I track, you know, everything.
I used to keep crazy charts to track dating, particular purchases like socks or underwear and other interesting things, but I have fallen out of the habit. Or at least thought I had.
At a National Geographic Lecture I learned that the average American consumes 3 burgers and 4 batches of fries a week. This, of course, prompted me to to to wonder who is eating all of my burgers and throwing the average off. This year I have decided to track my burger and fry consumption. However, I have now run into technicalities that are confusing for me:
1. What constitutes a "burger"? Does a chicken burger count? What is the difference between a chicken sandwich and a chicken burger? Ground meat? Hamburger bun? I had a grilled chicken breast on ciabatta with balsamic vinegar, basil, and mozzarella on Sunday, does that count?
I have reason to believe that the statistic referred to the traditional cheeseburger as the discussion had to do with the carbon footprint of the burger which explicitly took cattle consumption into account. But am I being disingenuous if I don't count a chicken sandwich?
2. Do I have to count the few fries I stole from Steve at lunch last Sunday? Does this depend on number of fries, or is it just straight up number of instances of fry consumption? What if I bake potato wedges? They're not technically fried... so?
Leave me a comment with your opinions on my quandaries.
I track, you know, everything.
I used to keep crazy charts to track dating, particular purchases like socks or underwear and other interesting things, but I have fallen out of the habit. Or at least thought I had.
At a National Geographic Lecture I learned that the average American consumes 3 burgers and 4 batches of fries a week. This, of course, prompted me to to to wonder who is eating all of my burgers and throwing the average off. This year I have decided to track my burger and fry consumption. However, I have now run into technicalities that are confusing for me:
1. What constitutes a "burger"? Does a chicken burger count? What is the difference between a chicken sandwich and a chicken burger? Ground meat? Hamburger bun? I had a grilled chicken breast on ciabatta with balsamic vinegar, basil, and mozzarella on Sunday, does that count?
I have reason to believe that the statistic referred to the traditional cheeseburger as the discussion had to do with the carbon footprint of the burger which explicitly took cattle consumption into account. But am I being disingenuous if I don't count a chicken sandwich?
2. Do I have to count the few fries I stole from Steve at lunch last Sunday? Does this depend on number of fries, or is it just straight up number of instances of fry consumption? What if I bake potato wedges? They're not technically fried... so?
Leave me a comment with your opinions on my quandaries.
OCD + Goldfish = Crazy Fishlady
Steve is awesome and surprised me with a lovely fish tank for Christmas and on Sunday we went on the Great Fish Accoutrement Hunt.
We started at Petco and after determining that yes, this was indeed the best tank, I read several pamphlets on fish care, bought a net and thermometer and left*. Next we hit up a Petsmart where we bought NOTHING because nothing met my stringent standards for fish décor. Finally we went to The Fish Store on Roosevelt where I found gravel (disco style), and a color coordinating castle (every fish needs a castle), and a fake plant (that matches both the castle and plant, because why the hell not if you’re buying a fake plant anyway).
Then I got home and read the book that came with the aquarium and realized I needed 2 buckets, maybe a timer for the light, the tank did not come with tap water purifier (though the box said it did), the plant is probably too tall, and I may or may not have enough gravel.
So I went to Petsmart and bought a new plant and a bottle of tap water purifier. Then went to Lowe’s for buckets.
Yesterday my roommate went to The Fish Store and picked up more rocks for me because he is awesome. After dinner I started setting up the aquarium and realized I needed an additional plant to make the whole thing look less sparse.
So we went to go to Petco again but got sidetracked at Pier 1 where the roommate bought a lamp, which almost did not fit in my car and necessitated that I’m-driving-a-car-with-a-lamp-shoved-through-it-at-a-jaunty-angle sort of driving. Then went to a different Pier 1 for additional lamps and ended up at the Petco in Everett, where I bought a new plant and checked out all of their accouterments (and fish, which BTW looked really healthy and clean- more than at any store I have been in before). At home Jim and I rearranged the furniture and set up the aquarium in the best possible location as noted in the now numerous sources I had researched. After rearranging the contents of the tank a few times while it was full of water, it is finally ready for fish.
Next I researched fish and determined that I can probably fit between 3 and 5 fish in there or a whole bunch of little guys. I also looked at very expensive bettas on the internet, but I shouldn’t pay 30 for a single fish that will kill any other fish I put with it leaving only smooshy fish bits.**
So now all I have to do is find a reputable dealer to assist me in finding 3-5 roughly equally sized, aggression compatible fish that eat the same food, and can live in water roughly between 64-68 degrees. And I should buy an extra filter (JIC), a water testing kit to balance ammonia and nitrites, and food. Fish probably would like food most of all.
This is why people with OCD should not own aquariums. Or perhaps the reverse is exactly the case as I assume that my obsessing will greatly increase the joy and lifespan of my finned friends.
Although, when I was 5 or so I pitched a quarter into a glass at the fair and won a tiny goldfish that grew to 4 inches and lived nearly 6 years, in a glass bowl with nothing but neon pink rocks. I cannot testify to this but I assume that 5 year Quiana was not terribly diligent at feeding him and cleaning the bowl, so perhaps fish keeping is not rocket science.
* I should mention at this juncture that Steve and I found a koi that looks as much like Hitler as a fish could possibly look. A dark black patch on his head and a perfect little mustache. I am terribly disappointed to find out that my tank isn’t large enough to even keep a baby koi. So no Fishler for me.
**Every resource I have checked suggests getting a fragile cheap fish and placing it in the tank to make sure that the tank is ok for the other fish. Does this seem unethical to anyone else? While I eat meat, and happily wear leather, I can’t in good conscience kill any animal unless I have good reason. (Except spiders. Spiders can kiss it.) So maybe I should just get one fish to start with. But a keeper fish. Not some disposable fish. And just keep my fingers crossed?
We started at Petco and after determining that yes, this was indeed the best tank, I read several pamphlets on fish care, bought a net and thermometer and left*. Next we hit up a Petsmart where we bought NOTHING because nothing met my stringent standards for fish décor. Finally we went to The Fish Store on Roosevelt where I found gravel (disco style), and a color coordinating castle (every fish needs a castle), and a fake plant (that matches both the castle and plant, because why the hell not if you’re buying a fake plant anyway).
Then I got home and read the book that came with the aquarium and realized I needed 2 buckets, maybe a timer for the light, the tank did not come with tap water purifier (though the box said it did), the plant is probably too tall, and I may or may not have enough gravel.
So I went to Petsmart and bought a new plant and a bottle of tap water purifier. Then went to Lowe’s for buckets.
Yesterday my roommate went to The Fish Store and picked up more rocks for me because he is awesome. After dinner I started setting up the aquarium and realized I needed an additional plant to make the whole thing look less sparse.
So we went to go to Petco again but got sidetracked at Pier 1 where the roommate bought a lamp, which almost did not fit in my car and necessitated that I’m-driving-a-car-with-a-lamp-shoved-through-it-at-a-jaunty-angle sort of driving. Then went to a different Pier 1 for additional lamps and ended up at the Petco in Everett, where I bought a new plant and checked out all of their accouterments (and fish, which BTW looked really healthy and clean- more than at any store I have been in before). At home Jim and I rearranged the furniture and set up the aquarium in the best possible location as noted in the now numerous sources I had researched. After rearranging the contents of the tank a few times while it was full of water, it is finally ready for fish.
Next I researched fish and determined that I can probably fit between 3 and 5 fish in there or a whole bunch of little guys. I also looked at very expensive bettas on the internet, but I shouldn’t pay 30 for a single fish that will kill any other fish I put with it leaving only smooshy fish bits.**
So now all I have to do is find a reputable dealer to assist me in finding 3-5 roughly equally sized, aggression compatible fish that eat the same food, and can live in water roughly between 64-68 degrees. And I should buy an extra filter (JIC), a water testing kit to balance ammonia and nitrites, and food. Fish probably would like food most of all.
This is why people with OCD should not own aquariums. Or perhaps the reverse is exactly the case as I assume that my obsessing will greatly increase the joy and lifespan of my finned friends.
Although, when I was 5 or so I pitched a quarter into a glass at the fair and won a tiny goldfish that grew to 4 inches and lived nearly 6 years, in a glass bowl with nothing but neon pink rocks. I cannot testify to this but I assume that 5 year Quiana was not terribly diligent at feeding him and cleaning the bowl, so perhaps fish keeping is not rocket science.
* I should mention at this juncture that Steve and I found a koi that looks as much like Hitler as a fish could possibly look. A dark black patch on his head and a perfect little mustache. I am terribly disappointed to find out that my tank isn’t large enough to even keep a baby koi. So no Fishler for me.
**Every resource I have checked suggests getting a fragile cheap fish and placing it in the tank to make sure that the tank is ok for the other fish. Does this seem unethical to anyone else? While I eat meat, and happily wear leather, I can’t in good conscience kill any animal unless I have good reason. (Except spiders. Spiders can kiss it.) So maybe I should just get one fish to start with. But a keeper fish. Not some disposable fish. And just keep my fingers crossed?
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
My nephew, almost nearly the size of a soda bottle.
Did Poncho lose his shirt? Does he know his evil sister put his nipple on the internet? What the hell is Faygo?
When will this cavalcade of mysteries end?!
Monday, January 05, 2009
Simple.
Trying to explain the economic downturn to my coworkers is so frustrating. For a bunch of fairly bright people, they are not deep thinkers.
Their explanation of the economic downturn.
1. Banks offer loans to people who cannot possibly pay them off.
2. Now we all have no money. :(
Trying to explain how lenders buy and sell loans and how insurance works is a waste of time. Because their explanation sounds so simple, they are happy to follow it. This worked well with their political opinions too:
1. Sarah Pallin is dumb. HUH HUH HUH.
2. Voting for Obama means vothing for not-Bush.
If only everything was this simple.
Their explanation of the economic downturn.
1. Banks offer loans to people who cannot possibly pay them off.
2. Now we all have no money. :(
Trying to explain how lenders buy and sell loans and how insurance works is a waste of time. Because their explanation sounds so simple, they are happy to follow it. This worked well with their political opinions too:
1. Sarah Pallin is dumb. HUH HUH HUH.
2. Voting for Obama means vothing for not-Bush.
If only everything was this simple.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
On being a jerk.
Lately I've had trouble with sleeping. I will be tantalizingly close to asleep when, I'm falling! I flail in bed, safe and sound.
Or I'll be sleeping and then whoomp! I've slipped on a banana peel.
This is apparently called a Hypnic Jerk. Scientists are not sure why this happens but it happens most frequently when you have irregular sleep patterns... such as dog sitting in stranger's houses, or staying up too late to finish up that last episode of Dr. Who.
I guess the entire point of this post is that I am clumsy, even in my sleep.
And that, my friends is my awesome story about sleeping.
Or I'll be sleeping and then whoomp! I've slipped on a banana peel.
This is apparently called a Hypnic Jerk. Scientists are not sure why this happens but it happens most frequently when you have irregular sleep patterns... such as dog sitting in stranger's houses, or staying up too late to finish up that last episode of Dr. Who.
I guess the entire point of this post is that I am clumsy, even in my sleep.
And that, my friends is my awesome story about sleeping.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
McDonalds, you rock the crazy.
Today I ordered an Egg McMuffin and a chocolate milk and for 2 cents LESS I could have had a hashbrown too.
Thanks, but no. I will pay McDonalds 2 cents and save myself 140 calories (72 of which are from fat).
Thanks, but no. I will pay McDonalds 2 cents and save myself 140 calories (72 of which are from fat).
Monday, December 29, 2008
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Kiss it, 2008!
I am unreasonably excited about the demise of 2008. I have not been particularly pleased with this year. It has just pretty much sucked. Everyone I know was in danger of losing their jobs (including me) and many did. It was an ugly political year in which things were said, and not just by the candidates, that made me unhappy and uncomfortable. Watching the world economy yo-yo all over the place made me worry about my future. There were big adjustments in my personal life, which are mostly fine now, but greatly contributed to a year of over-all unpredictable scariness.
It also snowed like a mother-fuck, which did not help.
I did make some new friends, but 2008 saw vast changes in my relationships with current friends. And to quote the immortal Garth, "We fear change."
There will likely be big changes in 2009. But it is my fondest hope that rather than being crippled with two months of anxiety induced hermitage, I will be able to control the new directions in my life.
I'm hoping that 2009 will bring a new plan. A carefully thought out, well graphed plan, possibly utilizing Excel. With the end of my student loans this year, comes the end of my excuses for not just dropping everything and moving to Spain. Or going back to school. Or joining the circus. By the end of 2009 I won't owe anyone anything.
In 2009 perhaps all the blooming hope for my future will inspire me to do the opposite of what I did this year in my personal life (neglect, shut out, and generally weaken friendships) and instead grow to be a better friend. I hope that this year I will have the courage to not push people away.
2009 will by my first full year as an auntie. I hope that it will also be my first full year as a sister. I hope next year I can forgive myself for not being the sister I should have been the previous 19.
This year I want to be better, do better, dream bigger. Be a better friend, be a better child, be a better worker, and care more about being better.
I do not want a vanilla new year. I want a big delicious sundae new year. With everything on it. I want a 2009 so great that it completely obliterates the memory of 2008 with sheer awesomeness.
I know this sounds resolutiony. But this is not my resolution. My resolution, like that of all women between 25 and dead, is to loose some weight. But my plan is to be better. To live better.
So enjoy the last days of 2008 (as much as possible). I will spend them planning, scheming, and perhaps graphing to prepare myself for a better year and another step into a better future.
Thanks for reading, and a preemptive Happy New Year.
It also snowed like a mother-fuck, which did not help.
I did make some new friends, but 2008 saw vast changes in my relationships with current friends. And to quote the immortal Garth, "We fear change."
There will likely be big changes in 2009. But it is my fondest hope that rather than being crippled with two months of anxiety induced hermitage, I will be able to control the new directions in my life.
I'm hoping that 2009 will bring a new plan. A carefully thought out, well graphed plan, possibly utilizing Excel. With the end of my student loans this year, comes the end of my excuses for not just dropping everything and moving to Spain. Or going back to school. Or joining the circus. By the end of 2009 I won't owe anyone anything.
In 2009 perhaps all the blooming hope for my future will inspire me to do the opposite of what I did this year in my personal life (neglect, shut out, and generally weaken friendships) and instead grow to be a better friend. I hope that this year I will have the courage to not push people away.
2009 will by my first full year as an auntie. I hope that it will also be my first full year as a sister. I hope next year I can forgive myself for not being the sister I should have been the previous 19.
This year I want to be better, do better, dream bigger. Be a better friend, be a better child, be a better worker, and care more about being better.
I do not want a vanilla new year. I want a big delicious sundae new year. With everything on it. I want a 2009 so great that it completely obliterates the memory of 2008 with sheer awesomeness.
I know this sounds resolutiony. But this is not my resolution. My resolution, like that of all women between 25 and dead, is to loose some weight. But my plan is to be better. To live better.
So enjoy the last days of 2008 (as much as possible). I will spend them planning, scheming, and perhaps graphing to prepare myself for a better year and another step into a better future.
Thanks for reading, and a preemptive Happy New Year.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Ho ho ho.
Merry Christmas all! Sorry I've been a Christmas blogging slacker!
I hope you all have safe and lovely holidays!
I hope you all have safe and lovely holidays!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Stupid frozen water!
Do I get extra credit for going to work today?
I should!
There were only 20 people there.
No? No extra credit? Fine. Here, you watch this terrifying Japanese footage of a bioluminescent deep-sea siphonophore.
Good luck trying to sleep, suckers.
I should!
There were only 20 people there.
No? No extra credit? Fine. Here, you watch this terrifying Japanese footage of a bioluminescent deep-sea siphonophore.
Good luck trying to sleep, suckers.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Ponchito is worrisomely tiny.
Doctors say he should be fine, but he is so little and has to stay at the hospital till April.
So far today:
- a friend needed me to watch her kids while she was in the emergency room
- a friend needed to be rescued from the airport
- my brother is father to a 1 lb 11 oz baby two months premature a thousand miles away
I cannot help my brother, I can't even get out of my driveway.
I feel absolutely impotent.
So far today:
- a friend needed me to watch her kids while she was in the emergency room
- a friend needed to be rescued from the airport
- my brother is father to a 1 lb 11 oz baby two months premature a thousand miles away
I cannot help my brother, I can't even get out of my driveway.
I feel absolutely impotent.
Ponchito has arrived.
My brother's baby was born prematurely due to a medical issue (apparently not too serious) and I am thousands of miles away and up to my shins in snow.
Jayce Anthony (or maybe Anthony Jayce- the kids are still sorting it out) was born earlier this morning.
Other famous JCs include Julius Caesar and Jesus Christ.
In other news, I am just pleased that they didn't really name him Ponchito.
I guess I am officially that crummy auntie that lives too far away and never calls. I guess I should mail them something noisy.
Update: Anthony Jayce.
Jayce Anthony (or maybe Anthony Jayce- the kids are still sorting it out) was born earlier this morning.
Other famous JCs include Julius Caesar and Jesus Christ.
In other news, I am just pleased that they didn't really name him Ponchito.
I guess I am officially that crummy auntie that lives too far away and never calls. I guess I should mail them something noisy.
Update: Anthony Jayce.
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